I've worked hard on myself and made improvements to my life, but I still have problems being comfortable, not nervous, and my alpha self around women.
First, the good.
1. Lifting weights and working out 5 days a week
2.Less social anxiety. I'm more comfortable and relaxed in general around women and men. I generally follow the idea that my opinion of me is more important than anyone else's. But I'm human afterall,and I have relapses I have to dig myself out of. I'm more self amusing and less stuck in my head.
3. I'm disciplining myself to decide to approach a girl, then do it. That's improved the past few days. No more hesitation.
Which brings me to my current situation after the approach. I'm not comfortable talking to attractive women. I feel nerves or anxiety and I go back to being beta me on autopilot. It's like I have to replace this side of me with the more alpha side gradually. I have trouble focusing and have a one track mind when this happens.
Happened twice this weekend. Once in the gym with a cute fit woman. Approached her confidently, opened well, but anxiety caught up to me and I kept talking, but had trouble relaxing and being myself. When she was putting in her headphones, instead of fighting through, I just let her put them in and left.
Next happened today with a cute woman I had been wanting to talk to. Felt uncomfortable as soon as I saw her. Approached her confidently and talked for a bit, but the more I looked at her, the faster my heart rate went,and she eventually said she had to go.
Good thing is I'm not outcome dependent. I'm happy as a person, but I know I can do better with women than this. I'm staying mentally strong and not letting this set me back. I know I'll conquer my anxiety and nerves...it's just not happening as soon as I'd like.
First, the good.
1. Lifting weights and working out 5 days a week
2.Less social anxiety. I'm more comfortable and relaxed in general around women and men. I generally follow the idea that my opinion of me is more important than anyone else's. But I'm human afterall,and I have relapses I have to dig myself out of. I'm more self amusing and less stuck in my head.
3. I'm disciplining myself to decide to approach a girl, then do it. That's improved the past few days. No more hesitation.
Which brings me to my current situation after the approach. I'm not comfortable talking to attractive women. I feel nerves or anxiety and I go back to being beta me on autopilot. It's like I have to replace this side of me with the more alpha side gradually. I have trouble focusing and have a one track mind when this happens.
Happened twice this weekend. Once in the gym with a cute fit woman. Approached her confidently, opened well, but anxiety caught up to me and I kept talking, but had trouble relaxing and being myself. When she was putting in her headphones, instead of fighting through, I just let her put them in and left.
Next happened today with a cute woman I had been wanting to talk to. Felt uncomfortable as soon as I saw her. Approached her confidently and talked for a bit, but the more I looked at her, the faster my heart rate went,and she eventually said she had to go.
Good thing is I'm not outcome dependent. I'm happy as a person, but I know I can do better with women than this. I'm staying mentally strong and not letting this set me back. I know I'll conquer my anxiety and nerves...it's just not happening as soon as I'd like.
