Alright, well I'm getting comfortable with actually going to up to girls and talking, but it's what I say that needs work. Basically, my conversational skills are STILL sh*t. For instance yesterday, finally got the balls to approach this hot group of chicks , but the whole approach was like a freaking interview. "Why aren't you guys outside? It's a nice day", "Did you guys party over spring break?" "Do you guys like music?" Blah, it was a freaking interview. Sure the girls where smiling, but I could they weren't really interested in me, I could tell one of them in particular wanted me to leave. The approach ended in around 5 minutes, when I finally ran out of questions. Sure, I had the balls to approach them, but man, I must've been so boring. What I want to know is how can I make the conversation more interesting? How can I get the girls interested in me? I want to know this before I approach again, so I don't make the same mistake.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Starting to get a bit insecure about approaching.
- Thread starter ElStud
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
SweetTooth
Don Juan
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"The Conversation King" Rachel Davis ---- http://conversation-king.com/
If you don't wanna buy it try using a file sharing program to get it...
If you don't wanna buy it try using a file sharing program to get it...
Cool, though, I won't be able to look at that until after school. But after school, I will look at it if I can find it.SweetTooth said:"The Conversation King" Rachel Davis ---- http://conversation-king.com/
If you don't wanna buy it try using a file sharing program to get it...
Thanks. Alright, I understand number 1, but what's not open ended about my questions already is what I don't understand.superchill89 said:
The second one, I also don't get.
The ****y and funny thing is good advice, I read through the "EXAMPLES OF ****Y AND FUNNY" topic, but most of them seem geared at girls you already know. I did find one line I could probably open with though, that goes like this:
That might be too AFC though.
If I try to open with conversation, that'll lead down a bad road. I'd say "You guys going to prom or something" or "You guys party over spring break" or something, then it'll all go downhill like last time.
Thanks for clearing that up. Though I didn't mean C+F in general was for girls I know, hell I wouldn't know that, I just said most of the examples that I saw in that were for girls you know. Plus, most of them seem geared towards different situations than school.superchill89 said:
As for that example, it's just something I found in that topic I thought might work. What I need is some good examples of C+F I could probably use to open with or use when I approach, since I don't really understand the concept of C+F well enough to think up lines on the spot.
My goal right now is to get a date to the prom. Though, I don't see that happening. It is April 28th after all, pretty soon.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Still, there are a few chicks I'm considering taking to the prom. First there's this hot blonde girl in my grade named Jacquie(Pronounced Jackie), we're both in track, and she used to play flute in band, so we already have two things in common, she hangs out with a lot of other guys though. There's also Marissa, but heh, I just don't think that's going to work out. Other than that, there's that Agnes chick I approached yesterday(She was in the group), who I might of given a bad first impression. Tommoroow is the last day of school until Tuesday so... I got to do something major tommorow. I'm thinking about approaching girls with some ****y, funny stuff, although I don't know good lines for a school situation.
Snow Plowman
Master Don Juan
Don't get too caught up on thinking of things to say.
One thing to get good at and also takes up a lot of time is telling Stories.
Also learn about frame control, to me I think that is a very important thing, because you can get away with a lot of sh!t.
Escalate, Escalate and Escalate. Fuking Close not matter what, because if you don't escalate your going to lose her anyway so might as well try to escalate.
That's all for now
One thing to get good at and also takes up a lot of time is telling Stories.
Also learn about frame control, to me I think that is a very important thing, because you can get away with a lot of sh!t.
Escalate, Escalate and Escalate. Fuking Close not matter what, because if you don't escalate your going to lose her anyway so might as well try to escalate.
That's all for now
I really got no stories to tell. My usual approach is approach her with a question, then it's like an interview. Plus, when would I tell these stories in the conversation?Snow Plowman said:
Also, I heard in David DeAngelo's audio tape, about if your words don't spark an emotion in the girl, you won't leave a lasting impression on her. How can I spark emotion?
Alright, but I basically won't be able to do anything until next week. Why approach today just to make the same mistakes? I'll approach a girl with "What are you doing this weekend" and it'll be a boring conversation.superchill89 said:
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Elstud, the thing is man, the kind of words that our minds produce are basically tied into the kind of people we actually ARE. If you're not really willing to work on your personality -- eg to "go through thousands of comedians" -- then you're really not gonna change all THAT much, and neither are your conversations. I mean, they will improve a bit, once you get more comfortable with the idea of simply conversating, but you really won't be getting the kind of constant 'idea flow' that the best conversationists have.
Now, fair enough, no one's saying you need to be the world's greatest talker just to get a date to the prom, but my point is you're probably going to have to put in a bit more work than you seem willing to. Sucks, but that's life.
Now, fair enough, no one's saying you need to be the world's greatest talker just to get a date to the prom, but my point is you're probably going to have to put in a bit more work than you seem willing to. Sucks, but that's life.
Wait, a bit more work? Are you joking? If you don't call approaching girls work, I don't know what the hell you call work. Look dude, I'm a busy man, I don't have time to waste with that stuff, just so I can be funny. Infact, no one who doesn't stay at home all day, has the time for that. I mean really, you could at least give some recommendations. Nonetheless, I'm not going to doing any more approaching till next weej, I'm not about to approach again so the same crap can happen, and I get absolutely nowhere with the girl. I know if I have the balls to go up there, but there's no point if I'm not going to improve.
I could give you a million examples of how to continue a conversation that starts with those words, and in half of them wouldn't even matter what she answers.ElStud said:
The point of starting a convo even though you "know" it's gonna be boring is to get more comfortable simply talking, generating ideas on the fly. The way to develop this isn't to have a stock of well-formed questions and a list of things to talk about -- they can help at the beginning, like training wheels -- it's to actually have conversations.
In any worthwhile skill in life, there just does not seem to be any way of avoiding sucking in the beginning.
This is as true for me as it is for you. My great bugbear is fear of rejection. Only way to master that fear, I finally concede, is to just suffer through a sufficient number of them. No amount of "preparation" will change a damn thing.
It's similar for you. If your conversations are boring, the BEST way to get better is to simply have more of them until you get better. Now, in your case, prior preparation CAN make a significant difference. BUT, if you ONLY do the preparation stuff, and ignore the PRACTISE part, you will not be any better off.
It will help you get better because, over time, you'll stop making the same mistakes over and over again. That is how people improve at any skill.
Anyway, you really seem to believe that there is actually an answer that can be given to the following:
Anyway, you really seem to believe that there is actually an answer that can be given to the following:
If your approach is to wait for an answer to this, Good luck!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
No, I'm just waiting till' I read more on C+F and stuff. Then when school comes back I'm going to use it. My ultimate goal is to get girls to stick with me after the approach(You know, to the point where she wants to hang out with me or sit with me at lunch). The whole "approach her with a question thing" doesn't seem to be working well, so... I'm looking for an alternative, that'll get things moving faster, like opening with C+F. Also, AFCs can open with "lines", opening with C+F would immediately tell them that I'm not your average joe.danielzxc said:
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