Starting over

[Fightin4 me]

I've been lurking off and on for a couple of years, and I see that there is some wonderful advice, and I'm hoping that I can get some of it to start my love life again.

I got a late start in life, started going to night school, putting money away in savings and 401k. I was believing that things were only going to get better. Then...

I lost my job a few years ago and did the unemployment thing, burning up my 401k and savings and moving to a big city. I took a huge pay cut just to have a job. So here I am at 45 with little to show for myself.

What I'm finding is that women my age have such unreal expectations, that I'm getting passed over before I even get a chance. I'm working on me, lost about 25 lbs, have been hitting the weights.

What do I need to get the attention of women?

 

[jophil28]

What I'm finding is that women my age have such unreal expectations, that I'm getting passed over before I even get a chance. I'm working on me, lost about 25 lbs, have been hitting the weights.

What do I need to get the attention of women?

Women of all ages have unrealistic expectations and equally bloated opinions of their own market value.
However, all they need to get whatever they want is a pvssy and the willingness to dangle it.

Perhaps you might post a little more detail about your experiences.

 

[Fightin4 me]

You wanted examples, I will give 2 great ones that happened last weekend. I was inside Penney's and came around the corner and started walking down the isle. This lady was at least 35-40 feet away and headed towards me. As soon as I turned the corner she immediately turned her head away from me and averted her eyes. She kept that same pose all the way past me.

The second one I was walking outside the mall behind a group of people, they moved to my right and this lady was walking towards me about 20 feet away. If we kept on the same path we were traveling, we would have passed each other with at least 5 feet between us. As soon as that group moved and we could see each other, she moved about 2 or 3 feet farther away from me.

I don't get it, I was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

 

[TomSwift]

You wanted examples, I will give 2 great ones that happened last weekend. I was inside Penney's and came around the corner and started walking down the isle. This lady was at least 35-40 feet away and headed towards me. As soon as I turned the corner she immediately turned her head away from me and averted her eyes. She kept that same pose all the way past me.

The second one I was walking outside the mall behind a group of people, they moved to my right and this lady was walking towards me about 20 feet away. If we kept on the same path we were traveling, we would have passed each other with at least 5 feet between us. As soon as that group moved and we could see each other, she moved about 2 or 3 feet farther away from me.

I don't get it, I was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

Fightin, I know this may sound trite, but man, you just gotta ignore this stuff. Not every woman is going to be flirty and approachable by every man that passes by. There are some that will, and some that just want people to stay the fvck outta their way. It'll happen. It's hard to cold approach women when they have an agenda (especially shopping). Also, I know it may SEEM TO YOU that their movements away from you were ALL ABOUT YOU, but I am 99% certain that is not the case, unless you look like Nick Nolte on a bad day.

Chin up, man. Play the numbers game, hang out at coffee shops and bookstores, even get online. I met my current lady online despite many many on this forum suggesting the internet isn't the way to go. And to the ones that slide away from you as you pass by? Admire their ass, smile, and move on.

Cheers.

 

[jophil28]

I don't get it, I was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

ha ha.... what was printed on the Tee?

Try this experiment . Take that walk again wearing a dark blue suit,crisp white shirt and a red tie.
You will be surprised at the eyeball action you will attract.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

What I'm finding is that women my age have such unreal expectations, that I'm getting passed over before I even get a chance. I'm working on me, lost about 25 lbs, have been hitting the weights.

What do I need to get the attention of women?

Not to sound to cruel, but are you sure they have unreal expectations?

To put it bluntly, you're an overweight and under-employed middle-aged man. Not exactly a catch. I'd question the sanity of any women who had such low expectations.

So do this: Forget about women and work on getting on top. Keep up the gym (good job so far!) and work on your career.

I think most here will agree that woman usually turn out to be unnecessary distractions and your focus can be better spent elsewhere.

 

[guru1000]

Yo Fightin,

Yes, it's true that women want to "feel" more in a mature man; however, the attainment of wealth is not linear. I had a third run in my mid-thirties, and I don't -- for a minute -- believe it couldn't happen again. If I lose everything (once again), I wouldn't rationalize my lack of game to lost assets, simply because ambition trumps wealth in its desirability (Although it's rare to find them mutually exclusive). Women want a man who is able, not incapable. Your "golden" image is not your assets, but in your thought process, ambition, and confidence that are the prerequisite traits to attaining both the gold and harem, further supporting why many focus on the alpha image (physical representation of a man who can secure assets).

You have already lost if you believe your "start over" predestines your failing; thinking will manifest in your mannerisms and confidence. Strength and character --the goal -- are built and learned through perseverance while facing adversity. These are the characteristics that make men -- men -- and should be the only ideals you sought after.

BTW, like the name; stay loyal to it.

 

[scrouds]

Don't underestimate how you dress, as jophil says. A t-shirt will not do you any favors, especially not a run of the mill, loose fitting t. Comfy yes, but if you want attention, you're going to have to dress the part.

 

[PappyS]

Women of all ages have unrealistic expectations and equally bloated opinions of their own market value.
However, all they need to get whatever they want is a pvssy and the willingness to dangle it.

Perhaps you might post a little more detail about your experiences.

Except that young hotties have naturally high market value. Older women or less attractive women, on the other hand, have lower market values so their expectations are more unrealistic.

Yes men also have unrealistic expectations, but women seem to be some of the worst.

 

[Rubirosa]

A guy in his 20's can get a hot chick at a club, take her home to his filthy apartment, kick out his roommates who are sitting there eating pizza, and proceed to bang the chick til sunrise.
For men in their 40's, it's different.
At this age you are expected by society (not just women) to have your sh#t together. More than that, you must exude a confidence that says you are enjoying life and that whether a woman comes or goes, you will still be enjoying your life regardless.
It sounds like you are going into battle w/out any bullets. You're at the amo store (gym), but you want to leave without paying the cashier first.
Even if your place is small....Have it immaculate, tastefull, and simple. Get dressed up nice, go to a dept store colonge bar, and hang out there and CALMLY ask surrounding women what their favorite colonge is (doesn't matter if they're old or ugly). Get a general concenus, buy the colonge, then go home and make sure your shoes are shined and that the clothes you have are befitting for a man in his forties.....(Watch a James Bond movie to understand this area).
Finally, and this is the most important part : After you've cleaned yourself up and have gotten into shape, do not get frustrated if women are not stripping off their clothes in public for you. Why ? Because you'll still be dressing and acting the way you should be anyways................