I'll be a freshman in college this year and so will my girlfriend. Thing is we are going to different states for college. I'll be transferring to where she is by the spring semester. I've been worrying a lot though. I'm worried about other guys hitting on her at parties and such and her falling for them and cheating on me. Should I be worrying this much or will she stay loyal?
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Starting College
- Thread starter danro
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Kev07
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Well personally, I would make the most of your "single" life at your college before you go to her.
But that's just me, and I've never had enough feelings for a girl to actually care.
If your girlfriend is anywhere decent looking, she will probably be hit on.
Will she stay loyal? How the hell are any of us supposed to answer that?
But that's just me, and I've never had enough feelings for a girl to actually care.
If your girlfriend is anywhere decent looking, she will probably be hit on.
Will she stay loyal? How the hell are any of us supposed to answer that?
Master Bates
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You call him a douche bag for being realistic? A girl at 17-18, going to college, away from home for the first time, is going to be at her most promiscuous and least faithful in her entire life. These long-term "going to different colleges" relationships NEVER work. She will be surrounded by thousands of new college guys, and you will be surrounded by thousands of new college girls, and a relationship that comprises of nothing but phonecalls and the occasional weekend together cannot survive that. Get real. Make a clean break while you can and save yourself the heartache of finding out she's been sucking off the guy in the dorm room down the hall or that hot sophomore in her Philosophy 101 discussion class.
Master Bates is right on. There is no way I would transfer to go be with her in the spring either. You should not be making choices about your education based on a high school girlfriend. I've only seen one of these relationships ever work and these 2 were completely f*cked. The two biggest geeks I've ever met, they got dressed up as lord of the rings characters to go see the premiere. I guess it depends on what type of college it is as well. If you are both attending south west montana state college and it is all commuters then it is different from the both of you going to large campuses with a majority of students living there
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Kev07
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MagnuM said:
hey it's cool, the kid wants a straightforward answer.
the answer is no, your girlfriend will not cheat on you. I am 100% sure of it because i know your situation real well. actually I even know your girlfriend well enough to know that she wouldn't cheat.
so rest easy.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
She'll stay loyal if in her eyes he's worth being loyal to.Kev07 said:
Master Bates
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That is a good point. Are you planning on transferring just because of your girlfriend? You're going to see what a mistake that was once you guys break up, which is very most likely what will happen. Highschool romances are not meant to last, and they hardly ever do. Do you think the two of you are really that much of a special exception?
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
I have to agree with everyone here. There is a high chance she will cheat on you. I know how you feel about ur gf cheating on you, I was in a similar situation. But, as someone was telling me; She should be the one worrying about you cheating and meeting new women. You should be the great catch and not her.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
One thing you have to realize is that if she is going to cheat on you, she will cheat on you no matter what. There is nothing you can do there. You can spend every waking moment worrying about it. Or you can put your time in something more productive like improving yourself.
Franciso d'Anconia is right in that if she feels that you are worthy of being loyal to, she will.
Franciso d'Anconia is right in that if she feels that you are worthy of being loyal to, she will.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I'll add one thing, being a "good guy" doesn't insure that she will feel that he's worthy of her loyalty. Her needs being fulfilled, whatever they may be, is the determining factor.L B said:
If you have to ask...
I'm sorry to say she's human. In all honesty, not many girls can remain faithful in an LTR. While mine did, we broke up because I was the one that found someone else, and I was glad she wanted to end it, because I didn't want to be the one to end it and hurt her. We are still friends, but I have moved on. I can tell she is still emotionally attached.
I'm sorry to say she's human. In all honesty, not many girls can remain faithful in an LTR. While mine did, we broke up because I was the one that found someone else, and I was glad she wanted to end it, because I didn't want to be the one to end it and hurt her. We are still friends, but I have moved on. I can tell she is still emotionally attached.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
TheHumanist
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They are right, if you just go by the numbers, your chances are pretty slim. I actually used to know the numbers (I stumbled it in a discussion and hearing the study's results), well at least you survived August... (The one statistic I can remember is something like 80% of all relationships going to college break up in August). I also remember that out of that 20 percent that survive just the transition, fewer still will make it through college.
There are many reasons why it doesn't last, most people at 18 still don't even know what they are going to do. Even more is the fact most high relationship is meaningless, out of all the high school relationships, many are not together for anything else than status, others are never really attached, and for many other reasons that make a horrible foundation. Then there are even meaningful relationships that even they fall apart.
This is not saying no relationship survives (unlike at least the tone of some here), but don't expect it to. Hope that everything will hold together, but don't worry too much if it will survive, if it does, great, if it doesn't, that sucks, and quickly move on, for the odds was very low in the first place.
The one thing (though no one said it yet, but I bet someone will), is don't start cheating on her just because a poster says she will and you start expecting she will.
There are many reasons why it doesn't last, most people at 18 still don't even know what they are going to do. Even more is the fact most high relationship is meaningless, out of all the high school relationships, many are not together for anything else than status, others are never really attached, and for many other reasons that make a horrible foundation. Then there are even meaningful relationships that even they fall apart.
This is not saying no relationship survives (unlike at least the tone of some here), but don't expect it to. Hope that everything will hold together, but don't worry too much if it will survive, if it does, great, if it doesn't, that sucks, and quickly move on, for the odds was very low in the first place.
The one thing (though no one said it yet, but I bet someone will), is don't start cheating on her just because a poster says she will and you start expecting she will.
Don't worry I don't plan on cheating on her. And many of the reasons listed r not reasons we are dating. This is a meaningful relationship and we r both pretty attached. I'm gonna do everything in my power to make this work... just hope she does the same, and even though most of you guys are saying it won't work and are doubting it, I'm gonna stay positive. Hell I know this girl better than anyone, and after giving it some thought, we will make it. I just get the feeling we will.TheHumanist said:
Kev07
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Why don't you talk to her about this? That's probably something you can do.
Centaurion
Master Don Juan
Man I have to hand it to you, you are like the Master Yoda of this forum - answering questions without actually giving an answer.Francisco d'Anconia said:
:cheer:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Clap with one hand you must young Jedi... Mmmmm, yes.....Centaurion said:
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.