"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Starting bjj at 41

Machine10033

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This is something I’ve honestly wanted to do for the last 15 years but put it off. Looking for input on what’s the best way to start ?

first im 41... I am still in pretty good shape. Do people start at this age? I have always been able to hold my own because I’m big and in great shape... but want to develop this skill set.

there are several bjj options in my area. Several clubs that seem to do group work and some that do private classes.

when your first starting what’s the best way to go about it? Is it best to do private and get a decent grasp of it first or jumping right into a group setting?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Kotaix

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Always learn with a group. You can see when others make mistakes and learn from them in a way that you can't when it's you doing it. Plus, you will make new friends that way.
 

Pogejr

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I’ve trained and competed in Bjj for a few years. I’m in my late 20s but most of the guys I train with at my gym are around your age, and many people do start out at your age.

I recommend first trying out a gym in the group classes to see if you like the coach and the intensity. The gym may have a beginner or “fundamentals” class for white belts but even if they don’t they’ll be happy to have you there.

A private class is really good but may not be worth the cost when you’re still new. In my opinion, the best way to learn and get better at Bjj is to roll with people of all skill level and sizes. Either way, you should go for it.
 

AureliusMaximus

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This is something I’ve honestly wanted to do for the last 15 years but put it off. Looking for input on what’s the best way to start ?

first im 41... I am still in pretty good shape. Do people start at this age? I have always been able to hold my own because I’m big and in great shape... but want to develop this skill set.

there are several bjj options in my area. Several clubs that seem to do group work and some that do private classes.

when your first starting what’s the best way to go about it? Is it best to do private and get a decent grasp of it first or jumping right into a group setting?
Why not? You're not old yet...
 

Machine10033

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Thank you guys. This is all new to me. How often do you all attend classes or training sessions. I already have a tight schedule but will make this work. Is there anything I should do to prepare? I work out a ton but literally never do any mobility work or stretching and feel like this might be an issue.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Suave88

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This is something I’ve honestly wanted to do for the last 15 years but put it off. Looking for input on what’s the best way to start ?
Start as soon as you can. Make sure you can do it and have the time and resources.

first im 41... I am still in pretty good shape. Do people start at this age? I have always been able to hold my own because I’m big and in great shape... but want to develop this skill set.
[/QUOTE]
No, not really. People do not start at your age, but there are always exceptions. I started at age 15 in Karate-Do shotokan and left with maroon belt to join military. Currently, I am potato couch, but I am packing 9mm....You will need a lot of cardiovascular performance.

there are several bjj options in my area. Several clubs that seem to do group work and some that do private classes.
[/QUOTE]
Go with group work, so you can get in Kumite with different personalities and body types.
Find out who is the instructor before anything. Make sure you run a background of the instructor, there are a lot of fakers out there. Google him.


when your first starting what’s the best way to go about it? Is it best to do private and get a decent grasp of it first or jumping right into a group setting?
[/QUOTE]
You will never get a grasp in private. It takes time, and time equals money. You have to learn a lot of throws, strikes, grapples. Private focus on profit. They will rip you off.

Group is always better do not be shy at first, everyone was always a newbie and started some day.
 
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Bible_Belt

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I trained about 4 years in mid 30s until the gym closed. My advice is to show up early and stretch a lot. Every gym is different, no one should beat you up for fun just because you are new.
 

Pandora

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This is something I’ve honestly wanted to do for the last 15 years but put it off. Looking for input on what’s the best way to start ?

first im 41... I am still in pretty good shape. Do people start at this age? I have always been able to hold my own because I’m big and in great shape... but want to develop this skill set.

there are several bjj options in my area. Several clubs that seem to do group work and some that do private classes.

when your first starting what’s the best way to go about it? Is it best to do private and get a decent grasp of it first or jumping right into a group setting?
You will be fine. I started at 33. BJJ is not as stressful on the body in the short term as striking is. I have a blue belt friend in his 50's that routinely dominates men in their 20's ( including me). That friend started at 50 yrs old but he had about 3 yrs of judo experience behind him.

Get ready for one of the most rewarding experiences ever. Make sure you enjoy the vibe at whatever gym you pick. Each gym has a slightly different culture.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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DEEZEDBRAH

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This is something I’ve honestly wanted to do for the last 15 years but put it off. Looking for input on what’s the best way to start ?

first im 41... I am still in pretty good shape. Do people start at this age? I have always been able to hold my own because I’m big and in great shape... but want to develop this skill set.

there are several bjj options in my area. Several clubs that seem to do group work and some that do private classes.

when your first starting what’s the best way to go about it? Is it best to do private and get a decent grasp of it first or jumping right into a group setting?
Do it but VET YOUR GURU.

been doing mma for awhile (keep in mind 2yrs of lock Downs). Any martial arts gym should shoe a pedigree and their should be a lineage where you trace back the black belt to its origin.

For instance, karate is a joke because of the bunk and fraudin schools. machida karate is legit and you can trace the lineage back to the grand master in Japan. There's tons of hack schools. Not to pick on karate. I know a dude who opened a school. Insane pedigree and rich lineage.

Do the same for bjj. @41 very high risk to yank on joints. Check reviews. Find someone with a grace bjj background. If you hear of a ACL and shoulder reconstructive surgery from a club, run.

It's typically the dork who thinks he's the next chuck liddell or a noon that will wreck you or themselves. Avoid any knee or ankle attacks.

Good luck.
 

Machine10033

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been doing mma for awhile (keep in mind 2yrs of lock Downs). Any martial arts gym should shoe a pedigree and their should be a lineage where you trace back the black belt to its origin.
thanks bro! There are two gyms close to me.

the one I was planning on going with the instructor learned and got his belt under a 2nd degree black belt .. with a direct lineage to Renzo Gracie. I know a good amount of people that train under him and several had had successfu amateur mma careers.


The other literally has nothing posted about any black belt lineage.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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thanks bro! There are two gyms close to me.

the one I was planning on going with the instructor learned and got his belt under a 2nd degree black belt .. with a direct lineage to Renzo Gracie. I know a good amount of people that train under him and several had had successfu amateur mma careers.


The other literally has nothing posted about any black belt lineage.
That's good. A lack of lineage is a red flag.

Furthermore, check msg boards, fb groups (I know boomers use fb), and reddit among other things.

Any mention of catastrophic knee or shoulder injuries is a huge red flag. Injuries are common but a series of severe ones is a warning to run.

Might add doing yoga too. At 41 you can't be as limber as 21. Yoga is full of girls. Great stress reliever and its beneficial for bjj.

Keep me posted
 
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