Starting a new life thread

[2Cool]

Quite a bit of good advice on meditation. I have been a practioner on and off for about 15 years, and I can personally attest to its benefits. However, it will take some time to quiet the mind down as you will quickly realize that you have quite a few thoughts zipping along in your brain. Also, you will get random thoughts that you didn't notice. This is good. You are now going to be conscious of what is going on up there, Confusion!

One of the goals of meditiation is to bring some order to the chaotic thinking that is going on. This should then transfer to your daily life.

Remember, it will be difficult in the beginning, but over time it will be easier to do, and hopefully it will be a part of your life.

My experience is that the following will happen. As you begin to meditate you will experience some turmoil and instability in your daily life. Why? Well you are organizing your mind and the way you view the world and interact with the universe (sorry to get cosmic, but indulge me). This spring cleaning, as it were, creates some disturbance, and as you get better, things around you and how you deal with them settle down.

If you stop meditating for long periods, you will notice a similar turmoil and chaos re-emerge. Why, again. You are not keeping your mind clear and you are allowing the closet to get junky, so to speak.

Long and short:
It will take time to get used to meditating.
If you start, make it a part of your life
You will notice some changes in your daily life, when you start
If you stop the chaos will return.

 

[2Cool]

Also, a couple of additional notes on this.

You only need 30 minutes or so set aside for this on a daily basis. It doesn't matter when, just as long as it is good for you.

And you don't necessarily need music. For me I just turn everything off, close my eyes and try to focus on one thing or nothing. Take your pick.

 

[frivolousz21]

well.

my work is slow the next 3 months...I only have some college but a lot of managerial expierence..so im going to try to land a management job somewhere..ill talk any of those 30K a year jobs to help me land on my feet. Since my lawyer fees, court fees, and medical bills from last summer can be paid...this is just a big part of life I have to go threw..which blows but thats ok....2 days before christmas I got really drunk back to back nights...I am ashamed..I dont want that kind of life...I really need to work on my self discipline..and live a better existance...overall Im doing better..its been 6 weeks since the breakup..I dont miss her at all..

I got to see my son for 2 hours which was a great expierence.and I hope to see him soon once im not as sick.

but Ive felt some depression...more depression than Ive felt in years....it goes on and off. I do not want to be in a position like this again...emotionally, financial, physically...**** this...Im 25 and I feel like im 20 in some parts of my life and 30 in others...I want to be a rock steady man...I want my life to be structured so I can eliminate a lot of uncessary stress..I want to go back to college in the future or join the union(if they hire me) for a stable financial life.

and now I just want this damn sickness to go away its been here for 3 days now!!!

 

[BobFuest]

I went to see my doctor today about stress.

well we had a good long talk..he is just a MD..and instead of giving me something for it.

he recomended taking a multivitamen and I told him Ive taken 5-htp in the past..and he said was fine and take it when I wake up and before bed to help regulate my sleeping patterns.

He also recomended meditation...he said that will help me channel out my negative thoughts..

So does anyone meditate and where can I learn to do it?

He said its a good idea for me to start over in my mind even though my child custody isnt settled...it will give me new focus.

He said to take a week to just get "clean and clear"..then you can start planning how your going to change..but you need to get away from everything for a few days.

I really feel much better now..this past weekend I hit rock bottom for me...I was ready to shut er down.

anyways I will update this thread until I have changed my life into something much better then it is now.

I hit rock bottom and now and clawing my way out. i feel you brutha. 100 percent. i dont dig on meditation as much as physical combat. Boxing, jujitsu, etc.. It really is the same thing. let this world go and be an animal. no thoughts, just flowing like water, living on instinct..

 

[frivolousz21]

Without sounding like a ***** I think I am finally going threw a little bit of the grieving stage of the relationship..until the passed couple of days I haven't missed my X...but the last 2 days Ive sorta missed her...well not really her..

but I miss my having that stable family environment to come home too. I suppose it wasn't so stable after all.

Im sure this will pass but it sucks...it may also have to do with adjusting to sober living....no I was not an alcoholic...however I am now coping with stress without it. And it is a rough adjustment that I have to make it threw..I must grow without mirages from things like alcohol.

 

[frivolousz21]

good news..I got word this morning that my X wants to go into court and settle this.

they want me to get visitation right
joint legal custody
no test for paternity.

all they want is to settle it in court because my X doesnt feel safe yet...because she is scared of me. whatever..I hope she grows up before some guy comes along who is going to really abuse her.

 

[Phyzzle]

no test for paternity.

That's weird. Is this a good thing or a bad thing, for you?

 

[frivolousz21]

thats a good thing..saves me lot of money


just means they arent trying to say im not the father.

 

[frivolousz21]

well...right now I am struggling with my mental state.....I think I am going to go back and read some anthony Robbins books and pick up new hobbies to try to get out of this massive jerk bitter at the world mentality

 

[MacAvoy]

Thats probably a good idea friv. One of the thing that might be holding you down, is your constant focus on trying to get the situation with your son settled.

You always need to continue to live your life. Its great that your an awesome father that is fighting for his son, but its in your son's best interest for you to take care of yourself as well.

Pick up an old hobby, go out once in a while with friends, it will help you start to feel better and everything will fall into place.