Starting a conversation via text or Facebook chat

[Dom36]

I was wondering how you guys start conversations with girls via text message or on Instant Message such as Facebook Chat? I never really know how just start the conversation, especially on Facebook when I don't know the girl well, and i feel like it is awkward if i just ask them some random thing. I know i could always use the standard of just asking if we had an homework in some class we have in common, but then I feel that it sets the tone of the conversation to be more academic and not social, and i never know how to respond if they just answer "yes p.123 #2-6" or something?
So what is a good way to open a more relaxed social conversation? Along the same thread, how do you respond if in either texting or IM they just respond "Haha" or "lol"? How do you continue the conversation in such an instance?

 

[Jenuine]

Act as if though their in person, just say wussup, no smilee faces, keep it short and i guess flirt a little? Idk personally picking up on facebook is a huge no-no unless their in the vicinity and your bound to see them consistently.

If they respond with lol or haha, the convo is pretty much done, don't even bother to continue unless they begin to complain about u not responding. Just say something along the lines of "Idk how to respond to lol". 98% of the time people say lol, their not really laughing it's more of an "ok".

Ex ( not the best )
X:"Lol"
X (10 mins later): "Comeon talk to me, why you taking so long to respond"
Me: "Sorry i didn't get the joke :|" (i think thats a good time to use a smilee? or wteva)

 

[Dom36]

ok thanks for the advice, the facebook thing where you said "huge no-no unless their in the vicinity and your bound to see them consistently" was more meant for girls at my school who I talk to sometimes but not a lot. I dont really plan to pick them up, especially since usually i'm better with the non verbal stuff (eye/kino) that you can't show on Facebook. And thanks for the thing about "lol" and "haha" those have always been awkward for me.

 

[The Italian Baws]

So what is a good way to open a more relaxed social conversation? Along the same thread, how do you respond if in either texting or IM they just respond "Haha" or "lol"? How do you continue the conversation in such an instance?

I don't think there's really a trick to talk on facebook. The best advice I can give you is to stay yourself. Don't try all of these lines you see people writting on facebook, because most of the time girls recognize these lines and are like ah whatever. If the girl seems to be answering some short sentences don't worry about it at least you are talking to her and she knows you exist and then with time your conversation will get better. Finally make sure that if you talk to the girl on facebook you talk to her in real life when you see her, at least a hi.

 

[Kingoflove]

Thanks for sharing this information!

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Thanks for sharing this information!

Screw you, spambot.
Personally I like facebook. I only use it with people I've already met, which should be obvious, cause it's facebook. I type whatever is on my mind really. Don't worry about it at all, it's not a big deal.

Facebook is great for setting up a day 2, or increasing her interest, this requires some basic skills though.
Starting a convo depends on the person you're talking to. Start with WHATEVER, and lead it from there. You should using your conversation skills to link topics etc, it's not hard at all, it's in the DJ bible.

I like to do roleplays. Be it gangsters, bf gf, married, anything fun really.
Try having an idea of what you want it to lead to, just don't project onto the future, it doesn't work.

 

[ARrocket]

There are some good tips in this thread. A lot of this has been covered, but here's my take:

1) Don't get drawn into long, boring conversations. First off, she probably will stop replying. Second, you're just damaging your chances.

2) So, keep things fun and flirtatious. And SHORT. You're not some loser who is online all day, right? So then, don't make it seem that way! Start the chat, flirt a little, and leave it on a high note. If you're texting, end it at the first natural stopping point in conversation.

3) If it's a girl you don't know that well, it can be weird starting a Facebook chat with her. My strategy has been to post a good C&F comment on a status or a picture or something like that. Get the ball rolling. Of course, as mentioned previously in this thread, you MUST back it up in real life!

4) If she responds with "lol" or "haha," that is your clue to end the conversation. Don't reply. Basically, if she is giving you short, boring answers, end it. Do NOT try to force a conversation.

5) If you stay in this phase too long, you'll never leave it. If you are talking to her on Facebook, you gotta transition to texting soon (or make the leap to in person!). If you're texting, you gotta meet up with her. ALWAYS be keeping your interactions moving forward. As a wise SoSuave poster once said, even if you're on the right track, if you just stand there you'll get run over."

 

[novaknight]

I personally don't like FB. Never got much success from it, just ended up getting friendzoned. If I were you I'd stick to real life interaction. Maybe it's just that I'm conversationally impaired, but if I were you, FB conversations are incredibly hard to hold if you wish to include escalation.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

I disagree, use lots of smilies. It conveys tone, which can't be done otherwise, or is very challenging. Open with something entirely non-serious, but keep the overall tone about 50/50 between actual conversation and fun.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I find facebook very beneficial. I use it to up their interest level a notch, which will enable me to ask them out etc.

Text is the same, and a LOT of the good guys use text.
Both should only be used to up her interest level enough for a meetup or "movietime".

Remember that texting and facebook is as good as your interaction. If it was bad, then it will be hard etc.

 

[juan95]

The rule here is to not spend 3 hours talking to her on Facebook.
At least make an attempt to appear that you have a life, talk to her for 20 minutes tops, and then make up something interesting that you have to go do.