started out cool but feel I'm becoming needy. advice welcomed.

[seethehoop]

OK so I prev posted about an ex who contacted me and offered it on a plate. I decided I’d take it despite some reservations. Anyway, it ended up being the most amazing secks ever, we spent pretty much 3 days in bed. She thought it was amazing too. After I dropped her off to get a train home (she lives a fair way away now) texts ensue. Some really filthy ones but she even started talking about still being in love with me a bit and that she knew I felt the same etc. I played it pretty cool for the most part but I did send a few texts back and forth matching her pace mainly.

Anyway so today she messaged me saying she couldn’t wait to se me and could I arrange some time off to see her sooner than we had planned. I said I’d sort it out, I arranged it and we sent a few messages back and forth, bit of rapport banter etc.

Thing is though I was thinking this is getting too much, I was being too available. So I thought Id send one message then if she responded either leave it or tell her I had to get some work done etc.

Here’s how it ended.

Me: I’ll leave work early Friday and head back sometime Saturday.
Her: you can do what ever you want where I’m concerned Mr. maybe I will just sit on your c*** once more and get it out of my system.
Me: OK well have this last rendezvous then call it a day.
Her: I’m just trying on those words, I don’t think I can stop or see myself doing so anytime soon.
Me: Just think, I didn’t even bring my A game and you are already besotted with me.
Her: I must admit the older version of you is delicious, not sure about the besotted bit. Anyways leave me alone a bit I’m chatting to friends.

Thing is I was pretty cool about the whole thing until she sent me the last message asking me to leave her alone and pulling back on the besotted thing. Now I feel like I’ve becoming a little too needy and feel a little bit rejected. This is despite the fact that we are still due to meet up.

I don’t think it helps that she acts all cool one minute but then tells me she misses me and still loves me a little the next. She tells me how amazing my eyes are etc and how good we are in bed together.

I think Im gonna pull back a bit maybe leave her a day or so without texting. I didn’t respond to her last message. I was intending to cut her off but she beat me too it. I also asked her last night to let me know if she got home safe (a bit afc I know, but it was like midnight when she left work) I think this may have missed the mark cos she didn’t. I know she really likes guys who lead and are a bit of a jerk to her so I told her I wouldn’t ask again. (I was only asking cos she told me some guy groped her the other week). She was cool about this and even responded by saying she would play along and do as she is told in future.

I know im going a little afc cos im starting to care. Last week I didn’t care so I played her like a fiddle but now I don’t know if I can pull this off if I get invested.

Im putting this up her more so that I can air my thoughts as a sort of therapy but please feel free to comment. I would welcome any advice or criticism.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Your doing it wrong.

You told her that you didn't want to bang her any more.

Than called yourself awesome while she is thinking your a d!ck for saying you didn't want to bang her anymore. Of course she is going to respond like that.

The way I like to do it is:
Speak romantic but act business. By telling her you want to see her too and being totally DTF. But then when the weekend comes cancel at the last minute with responsibilities you have to take care of. Like that she is still endeared to you and misses you and wants you more. Yet understands that there are things on your life that trump her. This will cause her to try and compete with the other things in your life.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I'm seeing a chick like this.
She'll come on all hot and heavy via text, then suddenly write something like: "ok, leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep/study/work etc".
I never reply and a couple of days later she's smoking my pole.

I just think it's a lame power play. She wants to feel as though she's in control but really I know she's gagging for it and doesn't want to come across as too "into you".
Just chill out and don't over think it. You've got her in the hook, her pretending to blow you off is just a smoke screen.

 

[Kbomb]

Overthinking things is a sure sign of desperation and neediness. It doesn't matter to you ever, until you are in a LTR, none of it matters. That's how strong you are or will become.

 

[seethehoop]

Thanks for the response guys. As soon as I posted this I regained some composure. I'm back to feeling cool bout it. It was a momentary lapse. I will act totally unphased, I know she is well into me so if I keep that in mind I can maintain control. I think that's what she trying to find out. See how id react to her telling me to leave her alone.

 

[omega05]

you're taking the "leave me alone" part too seriously. Thats one of the problems with texting. She already said you're delicious. why get uptight?