Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I guess this depends on what state you're from. I did a bit of research recently (mostly out of curiosity) for AR on age limits on hookups. Basically it can get pretty complicated for two people in the "teens"... but for 21+, a guy or girl can legally hook up with a 16 year old. I had always assumed it was 18, but its 16 in AR.Sanctum1972 said:And whatever you do, avoid girls ordering Frappucinnos. Don't drink that stuff. I used to work for Starbucks and it's okay and over the years, underage punks come in and go. Depending on where you're at, avoid underagers.
Even if you get hit by one, double-check to make sure her age. You don't want jailbait.
Even a 17 year old girl can look 21...be very careful. That's why in bars/nightclubs you are more likely going to encounter a girl 21 and over.
I'm starting to grow weary of bars/clubs and coffeehouses for some reason...I don't know why. I go to bars/clubs..it gets isolating because of my deafness due to the noise but the women are tempting..while in coffeehouses at night, underage punks flock to those places because they're the only 'legal' places for them to hit on...especially in the state I'm at....
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Then freaking approach. You've already talked yourself out of meeting anyone with that attitude.Exp said:Yup. How much doesn't that set you back, the girl putting you in the "guy desperate for hook up" category before you even meet. I'd hate to be seen as one of those 10 afcs staring at women.
I wasn't suggesting you hit on them as an employee of Starbucks. That's different. I thought you were referring to how you should behave as a customer.Sanctum1972 said:......
The point is that it is NOT wise to hit up on girls who may appear to be underage in Starbucks. I may not hear everything what's going on but I use my eyes and can see what's up.
It's not fear...it's logic.
......
It's not about having the balls to talk to a chick, it's about using your head. It's really a combination of both.
I'm 35 and won't hit up on girls under 21. Any woman of drinking age or older is a safer bet...for legal reasons.
Exactly what i was thinking.Mr.Positive said:I think the point is Sanctum, that if you see a woman that intriques you...man up and approach. Approach regardless of where you are, starbucks, a museum, bus stop, etc.
Who cares what everyone else thinks. Why are they so interested in putting a label on someone? They should be more concerned with their own lives.
Getting labeled a womanizer, well, that's pretty much a compliment. A womanizer gets women. If I got called that, I'd just laugh.
Live the best most honorable life you can, and don't give a sh!t what others think.
This is the mature man board, I assumed you could tell the difference between high school and older.Sanctum1972 said:Just approach...........anything in Starbucks? Just approach because she looks like jailbait? I can't accept that thinking...if I SEE a woman that appears closer to my age, then yes that would make sense...but 'just approach'?
That's being vague and going about it blindly.
And lastly if you have had success in Starbucks, how were you able to avoid the 'That Womanizing Customer' label? Did you hit up just one Starbucks joint or several in your area?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
It could be due to lack of confidence, a lack of practice (better to think of 1 in 100 approaches as successful than not to approach at all). Also, it's always easier to think you've struck out.WestCoaster said:I'm always puzzled as to why guys put two strikes on themselves before they even step into the batter's box.