"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Starbuck for 1st time meet up with a girl?

shiguldo

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Well I'm about to go see a girl for the first time whom I met through a friend's referral.

At first I thought about taking her to a starbucks or some cafe but people bugged me to take her to a restaurant.

I know its sudden but I only have 2 hours before I need to go.

Any vote or input? greatly appreciated.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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PectoralisMajor

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restaurant - first date...NO NO. you dont even know this girl, why take her to a restaurant?? if all these other people are bugging for you to take her, let them take her to a restaurant ha.

suggest meeting and keeping it shortish, maybe an hour. if its gone well with the chat, you should there and then say, 'XY - I've really enjoyed coffee with you, and I'd like us to meet again' when we're both free. I'm busy on xyz days, but free on xxx, we should go grab some food.

see what she says...

ps if you've already had the date, how did it go?
 

shiguldo

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Hey PectoralisMajor,

Thanks for the suggestion. I figured a casual coffee would work but I had to meet her during dinner time so we had a short dinner at some noodle shop.

Chatting was ok but I came across the problem that I always have for ages. I consciously try to have her talk about her as much but it doesn't last long and I'm forced to talk about myself more. So we walked around the city without talking too much.

She didn't react too much to my lame attempt to make her laugh either. What would you do if you run out of things to talk about? I might have missed some of her cues where she would talk a lot more because before we parted, she asked about my hobby.

She's a nurse so I tried to talk about that but she didn't get into it too much.
 

PectoralisMajor

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If she's a nurse you could have made some witty comments:

'ohhhh, you can look after me anytime'

'ahhh, I have a bruise on my arm, kiss it better for me'

If you find yourself running out of convo, you need to probe round till you find topics that INTEREST her.

Personally, If I find myself running out of things to say, I AVOID talking about myself, or the person I'm with. Instead, pick a topic thats neutral i.e 'when you were growing up, which kids TV program did you think was the best'

- its a trip down memory lane, and you cannot receive a yes or no answer ! plus these kind of chat can be fun.

another favourite - 'what food doesnt actually go with cheese?' we sat round the pub for 15 minutes trying to answer this once - it just came randomly to me, and fitted in with the food we had ordered at the time. ANSWER - jelly.

good luck.
 

noirsake

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Starbucks in my opinion, is a really lame place for a first date. 1st of all, it's really expensive. 2nd, do you know anything about coffee drinks? I for sure the hell don't and I really don't care about ordering a Grande Faggacino with extra whip cream. 3rd it's really noisy in there. So unless you can be outside, that place makes it hard to talk. I think you should find a local coffee shop that's more of a mom and pop place. Support on of those instead. The coffee will be better and the atmosphere is better.

But that's my 2 cents. But ya stay away from the restraunt thing unless you go to a sandwich place for lunch.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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