"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Standing when introduced to a lady?

Atom Smasher

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I'd like you guys' opinion on this.

If I'm sitting and am introduced to anyone, male or female, I usually stand and shake hands.

When it comes to women, do you guys usually stand or remain seated?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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zekko

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I rarely find myself in situations this formal. But it seems to me that standing would be seen as a classy thing to do. Whether or not a woman appreciates "classy" is another discussion.

Does shaking hands count as kino? Some guys say you should shake men's hands and women get a hug. I don't know, I've never been a hugger, but I could see how it might be effective.
 

guru1000

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It's never the act; it's the underlying motive.

For example, I still open car doors for ladies, as I'm a gentleman of my own volition. However, should I open car doors as an obsequious attempt to get in their good graces, it would be an entirely different dynamic. Same act, different motive.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Depends on who the other folks are, and the situation. Usually I do it without thinking.

The general idea of any polite behavior is make others feel at ease, welcome, and not on the spot. Like you enjoy their company and respect their presence.

And as often happens, form follows function as much as function follows form.

And as guru says, intention is everything.
 

zekko

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guru1000 said:
For example, I still open car doors for ladies, as I'm a gentleman of my own volition. However, should I open car doors as an obsequious attempt to get in their good graces, it would be an entirely different dynamic. Same act, different motive.
taiyuu otoko said:
The general idea of any polite behavior is make others feel at ease, welcome, and not on the spot. Like you enjoy their company and respect their presence
Espi said:
Also I always open doors for ladies-- this includes car doors. I personally think that the key is to maintain the right mixture of assertiveness along with the humility. That mixture is perhaps what makes a man very attractive.
I love reading quotes like this because it shows that even the guys here don't believe the whole "women only want @ssholes" nonsense. Men here will pay lip service to this idea, but peel back the onion to see their actual behavior and it tells a very different story.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Atom Smasher

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True that.

However, I notice that by far, most men remain seated at least in this part of the country (NY/CT border). I see it time and again. At a table, for example, I'm the only one who stands, and although I think this is the classy thing to do, apparently I'm pretty alone in my opinion here in the Northeast.
 

evan12

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You have to stand when you shake hand of anyone, this is my traditions , but here in Canada people dont care alot about these things , I am the only one who stand and shake the hands of new employees , others not even shake their hands .
 

VladPatton

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You should stand, yes. However, if you're at a bar, sitting on a lounge couch, surrounded by your friends, laughing away, and some chick you never met before pops in, standing will make you look weird and awkward, so you don't in that case. Otherwise, you stand and shake hands.
 

TarantulaHawk

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Atom Smasher said:
I'd like you guys' opinion on this.

If I'm sitting and am introduced to anyone, male or female, I usually stand and shake hands.

When it comes to women, do you guys usually stand or remain seated?
I always stand up. I thought everyone did that. Never paid much attention to it as standing up to shake hands seemed the normal thing to do.
 

Kailex

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I've stood up for both. Nice firm handshake too.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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ubercat

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Curious ESPI - do u do the side hug.
I had a friend who was good at that and would amp it up with a cheek kiss.

My variation is I shake hands (but extend one finger gently on their wrist) - they never notice and it does seem to warm them up faster.
 

logicallefty

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In a professional context I always stand, male or female, no matter what.

In a personal context, I stand most of the time for anyone. BUT, if a woman looks b|tchy from the start then I don't stand for her, and may not even put my hand out.
 

Atom Smasher

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I'm with you on that, LL.

Now that you've mentioned it, I notice that I do a quick assessment before standing. Interestingly, I always stand for a man (unless it's a quick-fire, informal meeting), but I assess whether a woman is worth it. Usually she passes muster but once in a while when a real b!tch is involved I won't stand and will only barely acknowledge her.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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