Standing up for yourself...

[mike88nf]

This is one area of my life I still have problems in even though I am many years past school.

When I was in highschool a few years back, I never was able to really stand up for myself. Without getting into a sh1tload of details, let me say this;

People would start lightly teasing me and I would just laugh it off. They saw that I didnt stand up for myself and then they would start getting more and more aggressive towards me, more insults and teasing. As before, I wasn't really bothered by what they thought of me and I would just laugh it off. Well, as one might expect it got continually worse, until one day one kid actually took a swing at me. Bad idea. I punched him right dead-on in the nose and broke it. His nose was fvcked up for the rest of the school year and I finally got some respect.

I had learned my lesson in the past, and I decided I wasnt going to take any sh1t from anyone. For some reason, that's easier said than done. I am still having alot of problems standing up for myself on a daily basis. People will insult me real quick, and I hardly have time to react to what they said. And I am still scared to outright insult the guy back. I usually just walk away and ignore them, but I know what that's going to lead to.

And sometimes it's not outright insults, it's just people teasing me on trivial things or complaining about me at work. These people dont really bother me, but I've seen where this can lead to.

For some reason I had the balls to break a kid's nose but I cant verbally stand up for myself??? I am still pretty scared of confrontations, even if they are just verbal.

My theory was that maybe I'm just not very aggressive, but if pushed far enough, I will break. I need to find that aggressiveness and get past my fear of confrontations, but I'm not sure how.

Anyone have any experience with this? Any help?

 

[DJ4Real]

You lack confidence. When you get into confrontations be confident. Aggression will come when you become more confident in yourself. If someone hits me, it's on. If someone teases me, I'll tease them back. Don't be scared, man.

 

[mike88nf]

That's my problem, I am very confident in all aspects of my life but this one. I approach girls frequently, have a good job, get good grades, have a car, have friends, etc. I am overall very confident, but this is one area of my life I'm really struggling.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Through your experiences, only you mike88nf will discover how to properly socialize or deal with situations like this with others. Like the above poster, stand your ground if someone tries to put you down or patronize you. Don't be afraid of hurting others if they hurt you, don't be afraid as being seen as someone who who gets pissed off if they piss you off.

I saw a street fight video once, and it was some black mutt shouting and mocking at some mexicans on the street to go back to mexico. These same mexicans told their "head honcho" this and you know what the head honcho did? He just went right up to the black mutt, and popped him right in the face, and then kicked him. He had nothing to say because the black mutt was talking trash , and the mexican felt the need to physically put this guy in his place. That's respect.