I have trouble doing this. Everybody uses me like a doormat. Even girls eventually. Like after a while I lose control or something. And I am labelled the nice guy. I have trouble voicing myself as well. What can I do to get out of this habit? I am uping my confidence in other areas and I still fall prey of this. I really don't know what to do cause this crap is all I know. It makes me hella angry but I just bottle it up.
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Standing up for myself
- Thread starter DopeFiend
- Start date
Dude theres no magic answer. Obviously you know what you have to do and no one can change your behavior but yourself.
Next time someone attempts to use you ask them what you get out of it. If they offer nothign worthwhile tell them to fucc off.
Next time someone attempts to use you ask them what you get out of it. If they offer nothign worthwhile tell them to fucc off.
Some girl asked me for advice on what she should do to tell a guy she likes her. I made a joke out of it, and said something along the lines of "WEll, you should tell r3n3gad3 that you like him and have sexual feelings and desires for him, even though he was in your class all last year and you never said anything" then she said "I know but he wasnt in my class last year", and I said something like "Hahaha, that went completely over your head didnt it blondie?" Shes like "lol ya", so I kept busting her on her **** and never awnsered. Made fun of her some more (nice neg's) then told her I had to jet and left. I hadn't talked to her in a couple months too, plus shes italian and not blonde at all. That was the ironic part 
.
In turn (I was a chump last year), I'm slowly showing her whos boss now, and how things are going to work. I was her emotional tampon last year but I'm switching the tables slowly, and practicing my DJ'ing on her and fine tuning myself.
The moral of this story is, turn it around on them, and show them whos boss.
. In turn (I was a chump last year), I'm slowly showing her whos boss now, and how things are going to work. I was her emotional tampon last year but I'm switching the tables slowly, and practicing my DJ'ing on her and fine tuning myself.
The moral of this story is, turn it around on them, and show them whos boss.
SilentSmoker
Don Juan
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- Dec 9, 2003
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Grow some balls
j_kat_251
Don Juan
Improving self-confidence can be done in a number of ways.
One excellent way is to start following your dreams. Ever wanted to be a rockstar? Go buy a guitar and take some lessons. Want to be the next Tom Cruise? Sign up at some local theatre dealie. Gotta crawl before you can walk. If you want to be a surfer, buy a board and start practising. If you want to be a scientist, sign up for some biology classes at the local community college. You get the idea.
Another way is to exercise. Science has shown testosterone increases from regular exercise. Weights are relatively cheap and can be stored in your garage. Or join a gym. Obviously you have to start eating right as well. Information on this is readily available. Consult your doctor before beginning any new strenuous activity.
Something else you might want to investigate is self-hypnosis. Seeing as how confidence is all a state of mind, rather than a physical attribute, changing your mental states through hypnosis is an admittedly new-agey way to attain it. You can't try it thinking "this won't work" though, otherwise - surprise - it won't.
You can always check the DJ bible (OH NO WHY WOULD I DO THAT) for other suggestions. One way to overcome fear of people is to approach them in some non-threatening setting, like the local mall. Chat to them. Talk to girls who work in stores, they're paid to be nice.
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Re: manager situation. If your manager is delegating all the lame jobs to only you and not your co-workers who are in the same position and get paid the same, you might want to quit and start anew at some other place. Other than that, it's probably a job requirement to follow your superiors orders.
Ignoring people is passive aggressive behaviour. Stay away from it. Be assertive instead. If some co-worker asks you to cover for you while they take a 30-minute smoke break, tell them "what's in it for me? Oh, nothing? You're out of luck, pal." You can even err on the side of jerkness if you like, just don't go overboard.
One excellent way is to start following your dreams. Ever wanted to be a rockstar? Go buy a guitar and take some lessons. Want to be the next Tom Cruise? Sign up at some local theatre dealie. Gotta crawl before you can walk. If you want to be a surfer, buy a board and start practising. If you want to be a scientist, sign up for some biology classes at the local community college. You get the idea.
Another way is to exercise. Science has shown testosterone increases from regular exercise. Weights are relatively cheap and can be stored in your garage. Or join a gym. Obviously you have to start eating right as well. Information on this is readily available. Consult your doctor before beginning any new strenuous activity.
Something else you might want to investigate is self-hypnosis. Seeing as how confidence is all a state of mind, rather than a physical attribute, changing your mental states through hypnosis is an admittedly new-agey way to attain it. You can't try it thinking "this won't work" though, otherwise - surprise - it won't.
You can always check the DJ bible (OH NO WHY WOULD I DO THAT) for other suggestions. One way to overcome fear of people is to approach them in some non-threatening setting, like the local mall. Chat to them. Talk to girls who work in stores, they're paid to be nice.
========
Re: manager situation. If your manager is delegating all the lame jobs to only you and not your co-workers who are in the same position and get paid the same, you might want to quit and start anew at some other place. Other than that, it's probably a job requirement to follow your superiors orders.
Ignoring people is passive aggressive behaviour. Stay away from it. Be assertive instead. If some co-worker asks you to cover for you while they take a 30-minute smoke break, tell them "what's in it for me? Oh, nothing? You're out of luck, pal." You can even err on the side of jerkness if you like, just don't go overboard.
I'm kinda skinny. I get the feeling that girls don't take me seriously. It happens usually when I work. It has followed me to all the places I've worked. I do what the work my manager assigns me. But somewhere along the way the co workers start telling me what to do. I ignore them but then everyone gets all pissed off at me. WTF they are like team players for this piece of **** job. Then I try to hit on this chick there and she stays away from me. I lose all respect there. I don't know wtf to do.
Mr.Hash wid da Stash
Banned
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Next time someone gives you sh!t punch their fvcken lights out.
trevor2003
Don Juan
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- Mar 29, 2003
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nice guys finish last
i used to be a nice guy, people didn't respect me, i would never stand up for myself, i acted like a gay friend to chicks i wanted to date, i thought that by being a nice guy and getting to know the girl first would work...............blah blah blah, you know stuff like that!
sooner or later you will get so sick of being used you'll just snap and lose it, kinda like ned flanders did on that episode of the simpsons when his house was destroyed in the tornado.
i snapped and lost it, i didn't go picking fights or do anything stupid though..........i just had enough bullsh!t for one lifetime and told myself from now on i'm always gonna stand up for what i believe in and nobody is ever gonna get in my way
you gotta look out for #1 (yourself) or you'll never make it
i used to be a nice guy, people didn't respect me, i would never stand up for myself, i acted like a gay friend to chicks i wanted to date, i thought that by being a nice guy and getting to know the girl first would work...............blah blah blah, you know stuff like that!
sooner or later you will get so sick of being used you'll just snap and lose it, kinda like ned flanders did on that episode of the simpsons when his house was destroyed in the tornado.
i snapped and lost it, i didn't go picking fights or do anything stupid though..........i just had enough bullsh!t for one lifetime and told myself from now on i'm always gonna stand up for what i believe in and nobody is ever gonna get in my way
you gotta look out for #1 (yourself) or you'll never make it