SS: A Life Changer.

[Skyline]

To start off I was raised in a Female household :trouble:. No one taught me how to "Be a man." I discovered this forum about 3 months ago(I'm 17 in high school) when I was looking up a personality disorder and ran into bradd80's post. I was an RAFC. I realized i couldn't change who i was, so I began improving those "Bad traits" I had. Despite this, I was still an AFC. :nervous:

I would try and get the the girls with baggage because I thought the "hot ones" were "too good" for me and I was a "Captain-Save-A-Hoe," and I wanted that validation that I did not have. I failed sh*t tests all day, had poor confidence and was basically terrible and insecure with myself and with women.
Ever since I stumbled upon this forum, everything kind of made sense. I was and still am big on psychology, and the traits that the bad boy's have that gets the girls made sense. And why the Nice guy's finish last also made sense. I would be ignorant on not believing this as evidence of this is EVERYWHERE.

In that 3 month's change, I've basically read everything this site has to offer. Most notably the DJ Bible/Articles on the main website and bradd80's guide to being a DJ.(I actually took the time to copy all of what he posted into my Notes section on my phone) I wanted to be better than I was then and even now, I wish to improve further.
There's always room for improvement.

As of today, I've realized and have applied the following things:
1. I don't need a relationship at all. I WANT it.
2. The only one who can make you truly happy is yourself.
3. Being surrounded by Negativity is only going to hurt you.
4. Stopped being the super hallmark Nice Guy that i was.
5. Learned to be comfortable with myself(Walking with confidence etc.).
6. Began pursuing a career a goal/get what you want.
7. Began seeing the positive note to everything.
8. Learned to keep my cool even if I don't get my way.
9. Learned how to keep an interesting conversation.
10. Learned how not to be in the friend zone.
11. Learned Red Flags and possible Deal breakers.
12. Learned Kino and various other seduction techniques.
13. Learned about the Ego.

That's all I can think of right now.. But I'm sure there is more. Whatever is in the DJ Bible, I basically know or have a decent grasp at this point.

I did a test a few times this past week. Before, I would get girls(emotionally broken ones, I used my Red Flag method to spot them) by acting like a complete AFC/White Knight and i would "get" them but always end up being burned. I tried purposely doing this(Like how i did when i was an AFC), but I just couldn't. All the hallmark sh*t I used to say just simply wasn't in my mind anymore and all the negativity they said was just sooo unattractive... :nono: All the real stuff I'd tell them they wouldn't even believe(Egotistical) and I couldn't exactly relate to it anymore either so that even lowered my "therapeutic approach". I used to be "The HallMark God" so to say. But ever since I came here, that's gone and I don't think it will ever come back.

I don't know my current "Label" but I'm not anything with AFC or Beta in it. If you read everything this site has to offer (DJBible, Articles, Bradd80's guide) then there's no reason why you should still be acting like a complete chump.
Also, I don't really approach girls anymore unless i need something and I'm beginning to notice they are starting to approach/show interest in me instead. But like I said, my life is still beginning as I'm only 17 and still in high school. I don't know if this is a start to the path of being a Man/DJ or something else positive, but I do like this feeling and I will continue this.

SS practically saved me from being a Nice Guy for another 10 years and taught me how to love myself and no one else more besides trusted family/friends.

I'm still amazed a complete group of strangers on the internet can change a life.

To everyone who have posted juicy information, Thank you. And I hope other new-coming DJ's can learn from this as much as I am now.

 

[adam225]

Brilliant! It's really starting to help me as well.

 

[zinc4]

good stuff...but approaching women is good if you are unattached to their responses....approaching builds character matter of fact because you take rejection often like a man and look it in it's face...

 

[Atom Smasher]

Great thread. I'm glad to see such progress. Keep up the great work.

If only there was an Internet when I was a teen!

 

[bluenorther]

You are so lucky-- None of these resources existed when I was starting out, so I struggled constantly. My own dad had nothing to guide me. I discovered SS and the community when I got my computer to try out online dating, and realized I had not a clue what I was doing... I googled "Pick Up Women" and found a gold mine.
One of the lessons that gets lost in the learning is, You already have everything you need! It's what Oz had to teach the Scarecrow, Lion, and Tinman. The dating gurus want you to know it, too. What they offer are mere tools, what you do with them is the main thing. At some point, you should be able to throw out the tools and fly on your own.
I knew I had reached that point when I confessed to my lovely top client, after a dinner date, that I'd had to make mental adjustments (reading David D!) to ask her out.
Her response was a verbal head-smack; she simply asked me "What for?"
As far as she's concerned, I'm already "there". I don't need to use outsiders for help. That's what your goal will become. It's a powerful feeling!