"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Squirrels

cordoncordon

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Colossus said:
Squirrels was a really regular poster for a long time...but he always seemed too introspective for his own good. I dont think this forum helped his natural leanings towards the negative. Wherever he is, I hope he is well.
Super smart guy, but I thought it was fairly obvious that he was either a manic depressive or at least bi polar.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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Married Buried

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Squirrels never posted any pics. In that pic thread on NLG that everyone posted in he posted a pic with a helmet on. I didn't think he was black but it doesn't matter.

I was going to meet up with squirrels at an Orioles game one day.

Iqqi needs to share the pic.
 

iqqi

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Malice said:
Squirrels never posted any pics. In that pic thread on NLG that everyone posted in he posted a pic with a helmet on. I didn't think he was black but it doesn't matter.

I was going to meet up with squirrels at an Orioles game one day.

Iqqi needs to share the pic.
I'm not going to share the pic. We'll just leave it at he is a very attractive meathead. Not really my type. I'm surprised someone with that much testosterone could be so boo hoo hoo all the time. I think his problem now is his field. He shouldn't be sitting in front of a computer all day long.

He's going to be so p!ssed that I found him. :D ME of all people. :D :D

I should call him and freak him the hell out.

I wonder how many pages we can make this thread talking all about squirrels, until he posts. He already has a big head. Physically, even.
 

Married Buried

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iqqi said:
I'm not going to share the pic. We'll just leave it at he is a very attractive meathead. Not really my type. I'm surprised someone with that much testosterone could be so boo hoo hoo all the time. I think his problem now is his field. He shouldn't be sitting in front of a computer all day long.

He's going to be so p!ssed that I found him. :D ME of all people. :D :D

I should call him and freak him the hell out.

I wonder how many pages we can make this thread talking all about squirrels, until he posts. He already has a big head. Physically, even.

Post the damned pic! If you don't post the pic, I will post all of your pics in this thread.
 

Phyzzle

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Colossus said:
Squirrels was a really regular poster for a long time...but he always seemed too introspective for his own good. I don't think this forum helped his natural leanings towards the negative. Wherever he is, I hope he is well.
Seemed like he had a case of Epiphany Addiction. Hopefully, he just got into a lasting relationship. I've found that this place can become suddenly uninteresting when that happens.

Maybe he's making babies now, and someday his grandchildren will internet detect him for an hour and find all of his posts and end up with a trove of anguished advice on how to get laid from grandpa and whoah wouldn't that be crazy man?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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zekko

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I'm a natural born skeptic, so Iqqi, I'm not seeing any proof here that you have found Squirrels. Maybe you've found somebody that has a few facts in common with him, but in a city the size of Baltimore that doesn't seem like that big a trick.

From what I read here, there isn't even any agreement on what race he is.
 

Desdinova

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iqqi said:
If we were dating than I'd already KNOW you were alive, I wouldn't have to cyber stalk you to find that out. Duh. :crazy:
No, you'd probably be stalking me to make sure I wasn't fvcking any other girls behind your back. The fact that you're trying to track down some random dude on a message forum makes me think you're crazy enough to do something like that.

I DARE you to phone Squirrels. And you have to record the call for proof.
 

Die Hard

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Desdinova said:
I DARE you to phone Squirrels. And you have to record the call for proof.
Plus, when he picks up the phone, you have to say (in your darkest voice):

"Neo.....This is Morpheus..."

:p
 
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PrettyBoyAJ

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Yall got a lot of time on your hands.
 

ThunderMaverick

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Well wherever he is, I'm sure he's experiencing life instead of worrying about people here missing him. If he never returns we have the best parts of him here. All we have to do is use the search function.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

BMX

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I'll be in Baltimore for the day tomorrow. I have no intentions of seeing him unless he magically pops up and says "hey I'm Squirrels, the mental-masturbation extremist." Then I'd gladly elbow him in the face.
 

Married Buried

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bmxcetera said:
I'll be in Baltimore for the day tomorrow. I have no intentions of seeing him unless he magically pops up and says "hey I'm Squirrels, the mental-masturbation extremist." Then I'd gladly elbow him in the face.

You seem to like getting violent with axe kicks and elbows.

You haven't gotten laid in awhile have you?
 

Mr.Positive

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iqqi said:
I'm not going to share the pic. We'll just leave it at he is a very attractive meathead. Not really my type. I'm surprised someone with that much testosterone could be so boo hoo hoo all the time. I think his problem now is his field. He shouldn't be sitting in front of a computer all day long.

He's going to be so p!ssed that I found him. :D ME of all people. :D :D

I should call him and freak him the hell out.

I wonder how many pages we can make this thread talking all about squirrels, until he posts. He already has a big head. Physically, even.
Iqqi, I'm a bit skeptical on whether you found squirrels. I don't doubt your internet (stalker) PI skills... :) However,

From my understanding, I wouldn't describe squirrels as a meathead, but I do recall him mentioning his height. If you could let us know how tall the squirrels you found online is, perhaps that would confirm whether or not you found the actual, squirrels.

I just can't see him getting married either.
 

DJDamage

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Don't call him.

Leave him be.

If he choose to take his own life, you aren't going to reach him anyways or find out about him through a phone call. Users come and go all the time here, unless you established some type of relationship outside of the forums prior to this then you cannot just call him out of the blue.

What will the phone convo be like?!

<ring ring> hello may I please speak to user name Squirrels who used to post on sosuave forum!? Heyyyy its me user name Iqqi!!!!, the chick from sosuave!! I tracked ya down because we at sosuave are so concerned about you.... (click) HELLO???!! <damn he hung up I wonder why>

If he hasn't killed himself then he probably moved on with his life and doesn't want anyone from here to contact him otherwise he would still be posting.

One day he may comeback and post on this very topic "WTF is this?! why would you start this topic about me - get a life people!"
 

iqqi

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Mr.Positive said:
Iqqi, I'm a bit skeptical on whether you found squirrels. I don't doubt your internet (stalker) PI skills... :) However,

From my understanding, I wouldn't describe squirrels as a meathead, but I do recall him mentioning his height. If you could let us know how tall the squirrels you found online is, perhaps that would confirm whether or not you found the actual, squirrels.

I just can't see him getting married either.
Oh, Mr P! You are talking to me? You never did respond to the last neg rep you left me for a misunderstanding on your part that I messaged you about. I thought you had me on ignore or some stupid crap.

I am positive I found squirrels. I have his number and his address, and I do think he would get a kick out of getting a call from the Great Iq. However I also think he is going to be really p!ssed at me. So I don't think I am going to go there. But it is very, very tempting. And yes, it would go something like this:

"Hi, can I speak to Mark?"
"This is he"
"Oh, hi squirrels! This is iqqi!"

:D



And none of the pics I saw of him really established height, I think that is kind of hard to judge from a picture. Also, I don't think squirrels had an issue with people misjudging what he might look like in person. I think he may have appreciated the mystery and confusion.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Married Buried

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iqqi said:
Oh, Mr P! You are talking to me? You never did respond to the last neg rep you left me for a misunderstanding on your part that I messaged you about. I thought you had me on ignore or some stupid crap.

I am positive I found squirrels. I have his number and his address, and I do think he would get a kick out of getting a call from the Great Iq. However I also think he is going to be really p!ssed at me. So I don't think I am going to go there. But it is very, very tempting. And yes, it would go something like this:

"Hi, can I speak to Mark?"
"This is he"
"Oh, hi squirrels! This is iqqi!"

:D



And none of the pics I saw of him really established height, I think that is kind of hard to judge from a picture. Also, I don't think squirrels had an issue with people misjudging what he might look like in person. I think he may have appreciated the mystery and confusion.

Does your boyfriend know you are stalking other men on the internet? I would dump you for it.
 

iqqi

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Malice said:
Does your boyfriend know you are stalking other men on the internet? I would dump you for it.
Well, seeing as I have all of squirrels' information up in one of my window tabs for the past week, I'm think he is aware. Not to mention when he said "who's Mark Blahblahblah" and I said "a friend I might have to call because some other friends think he might have killed himself or something", and that was the end of that. Not much to worry about when you are a secure and mentally sound person in a relationship where there is trust and honesty.

You'd never have to worry about being my boyfriend in the first place, chubbster. Now go slap your Asian mail order bride around, you can even pretend she is me while you are doing it. :)

Also, if squirrels ever checks in to read this... I know. I KNOW. I've just done a lot of comparing and I KNOW. :D



The lady has figured you out!

MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAA
 
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Married Buried

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iqqi said:
Well, seeing as I have all of squirrels' information up in one of my window tabs for the past week, I'm think he is aware. Not to mention when he said "who's Mark Blahblahblah" and I said "a friend I might have to call because some other friends think he might have killed himself or something", and that was the end of that. Not much to worry about when you are a secure and mentally sound person in a relationship where there is trust and honesty.

You'd never have to worry about being my boyfriend in the first place, chubbster. Now go slap your Asian mail order bride around, you can even pretend she is me while you are doing it. :)

Also, if squirrels ever checks in to read this... I know. I KNOW. I've just done a lot of comparing and I KNOW. :D



The lady has figured you out!

MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAA
She's not Asian you idiot.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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