"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Spring Break fun

carmen77

Don Juan
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I think I’ve had a breakthrough in approaching women this spring break at South Padre island in Texas. My whole life, like many guys, I’ve had trouble approaching women; my heart races, I stutter, I can’t keep eye contact, I become self-conscious…I crash and burn. So, naturally, avoidance has become my best approach. Consequently, I had low expectations for myself when my three friends and I arrived at our destination. We headed to the beach immediately, set up chairs, and made some drinks. My spirits sank as I realized that the gorgeous girls walking along the beach weren’t going to approach us. And if they weren’t going to approach us, I couldn’t approach them; why would they ever listen to me, much less want to be around me for an extended period. So I quietly avoided eye contact and sank into a depression. Luckily my friend (let’s call him Z) has very good game, which I came to admire and use as a source of inspiration as our vacation progressed. Anyways, Z walks up to two of the finest chicks on the beach, the kind of girls that have guys who shower them with money, and invite them back to our little patch for some drinks; they agree. We chat for a little, and then they leave (Z ends up messing around with them later though). As the day progresses, I watch as time and again he pulls in chicks. Sometimes he’d get rejected, but it didn’t even seem to faze him, he’d move on to the next group. Every now and then he’d egg one of us on to do an approach too. I was dieing to try, but at the same time I was afraid of rejection. I finally worked up the courage to ask a group of girls to sit down with us…they didn’t even give me the time of day, all I got was a hastily said, no thanks as they blew past me. Later after I had partly recovered, I began to follow my friend around as a wingman (albeit not very good) as he approached groups of girls. At the end of the day, I went back up to the hotel with my other two friends (let call them B and K), my head reeling as I thought of the various ways I could have done better. Z went hunting for more girls that night while B, K, and I went to sleep.

The next day came swiftly, and we headed to the beach again. This time we ended up hanging with these fellas with a keg. Z went of by himself, and B, and K stayed by the keg. I don’t know if it was the beer bong hit or not whacking off, but I decided I wouldn’t sit around by the keg; I was going to approach girls. The first few that I tried to talk to didn’t seem too interested, so I said say a few words then scampered off. Finally, things began to brighten up for me when I came upon a beautiful girl with silky brown hair, smooth skin, and a fat ass. I immediately introduced myself by shaking her hand, asking for her name, and maintaining strong eye contact with her (something I had not previously done on my other approaches). When she told me she used to be in rodeos I began asking her questions that had sexual overtones and to shock my she reciprocated. She began touching my chest, then pinching my nipples (kinda weird but his chick was hot), and telling me I was “dirty”. Sadly her friends pulled her away from me and they ran off to god knows where. But, after that successful approach something had clicked inside of me. I saw women and my thoughts of women in a very different light. I think I’ve always thought that sexual feelings are something that needed to be hidden or to suppressed. I don’t know how this thought became instilled in me, but it has ruined my entire outlook on women. From that point on I vowed to break out of this debilitating perspective. I began hitting on every chick I found attractive, I was completely unafraid of rejection, supremely confident, and I discovered to my sheer amazement that women love to have a guy’s gaze held on them when’s he’s talking to them. If I weren’t a rational person I’d even go so far as to say that women can read guy’s minds, I felt as if these women knew exactly what I was feeling, and I knew that they liked it. Even when I’d get rejected I wasn’t bothered in the slightest, because I was excited to talk to the next girl. I approached so many girls, and for the first time had tons of fun. I no longer felt inept; a predatory instinct had replaced yesterday’s depression. Later that night I went down to the hot tub, where five other guy and three hot girls were. I quickly established myself and that night I ended up taking a on of them back up to my room, but I smoked way too much weed with her and one of my buddies so I didn’t feel like messing around with her, but I was certain I had the opportunity too.

Basically I learned that animals have been ****ing on this planet for eons before language ever made its first appearance. There are subconscious elements heavily tied into attracting a female that are so much more important than what’s occurring on the surface. This site and my friend have given me courage to realize that I am in control of my life, and I can achieve my goals with the correct approach.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Nexus Polaris

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
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Congrats, dude! I never thought about it like you worded it in that last paragraph. In the evolutionary scale, fvcking comes first. Talking comes second. So it can't be that vital to getting laid. Which is why it makes sense that your body language and vocal clarity make more of an impression than the words you use.

I used to have that same problem with holding back on any kind of sexual communication with women. I thought this would offend them and that I was being respectful by not talking to them on that level. When girls in high school would hit on me by saying things like, "I just shaved my legs. Want to feel?" I'd do it in the most harmless way possible. I'd take my index finger and run it back and forth about twice over a two or three inch area of the top of their shin. Despite the fact that I wanted to full on grope their thigh. What I thought was respectful was actually wuss-like. Which was why the jerk guys that I thought I was better than were getting laid, and I wasn't. They would grope.

Women want to be treated sexually.
 
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