Split up with LTR and depressed by quality of women out there

[Miles28]

I was in an LTR for 7 years. I loved the girl very much but I was getting pressured to get married (which is reasonable on her part I guess after such a long time). However I wasn't ready to get married and commit to being with just one woman for the rest of my life. For one thing the physical element of our relationship had deteriorated massively, to the point where I just wasn't that interested. I think I could accept that in my 50's but not in my early 30's.

I would often see random hot women on the street or in bars and just feel this incredible lust towards them.

Since splitting up with my ex I have been spinning plates and doing ok. However, putting aside any very casual encounters, the women I have been involved with have either been:

1. BPD (that was a nightmare).
2. Already in a serious relationship.
3. Lovely but somehow dull and uninspirational.
4. Stupid.
5. Unable to speak good enough English to have a good conversation (I don't blame them for this, I'm in Asia and it's my duty to learn the local language which I'm trying very hard to do, but it takes time).

I still think I made the right decision splitting up with my ex, in theory anyway. However I'm just disturbed by the low quality of women out there. There is also the language barrier (I'm in Japan and most girls here don't speak good English which of course I'm not blaming them for, it's just the way it is).

At first I'd have fun just going out and having very random things but lately I've realised that i need more. Like everybody I would like to be meeting hot, quality women that are stimulating both physically and intellectually. However it's just not happening! Admittedly really the only places I'm looking for girls are clubs and bars, which may be a mistake. I'm just not sure where else to look for them. Day game is difficult because of the language barrier.

I suppose I also feel entitled to be meeting a better quality of women than I am. I'm in my early thirties, earn over US$250,000 equivalent, look good and dress very well when I go out. I'd say my game is decent but still I'm probably too nice to the girls I find really hot. I have a few women actively chasing me because I have been totally aloof with them, but to be honest they are 6's or 7's only. I'm seeing one Japanese girl at the moment that I didn't meet in a club or a bar, but through work. She is very pretty and smart but, like many Japanese girls, has no tits and I also find her a bit too prim and proper.

I got transferred over here because of work. It's a great place, no doubt about it. However I'm getting a bit sick of Japanese girls. Many of them seem pretty vacuous and it's hard to feel anything in common with them. Also most of them are flat as pancakes, whereas I like curvy girls.

Am I asking for too much?! I'm just not happy with the standard of women I'm getting. I want to meet some girls that really make me think 'Wow', have a brain in their heads and aren't total *****es. That's all.

I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or whether this is just a rant. In any case I feel in a funk at the moment because of this. I know the usual answer is to go out, get hobbies, etc. I will try to do that but to be honest this is pretty important to me.

M

 

[kingsam]

whats the situation with guy friends over there?

maybe you need to expland your social network to feel more intergrated in the culture, understand it better and ultimately understand the jap women better, and get better at the lanuage!

 

[Miles28]

Valid points Kingam. I definitely need to expand my social circle. I've just gotten into this routine of going to clubs at the weekend until very late and then sleeping during much of the day!

I'm studying Japanese very hard but I'm not a natural linguist so progress is slow.

I have to say that recently I've been missing my ex a lot and torturing myself quite a bit as to whether I made the right decision. I wonder if I'd be feeling the same if I was meeting the kind of women I want to be meeting? I have a tendency to overanalyse things to a ridiculous extent and that is killing me at the moment. i really envy those people who make decisions and then never look back. It's a great quality to have.

 

[squirrels]

Don't most people in Japan speak Engrish as a second language?

Even so, if you're going to live in their country, you may as well take the time to learn their language. It'd probably expand your options dramatically.

 

[kingsam]

you cant be the only foreigner in ur company... there must like be a "foreigner social group" who cold be a good start to join in with, they will be in the same situations or have gone through this. lots of these guys must know other "cool" people to socialise with.

what about any proofesinal organisations, or organisations such as "americans in tokyo" (easy to swap nationalities/demographic and location) where they all know each other...?

i was under the impression that western men are highly prized in asia (have been told by korean and chinese people) so i guess it must be true in japan

 

[zekko]

I remember reading an article about western women who worked in an Asian country, Thailand I think it was. The women were upset because the Asian men didn't want them, and the Western men who worked there didn't either. They preferred the Asian women because they were more submissive, didn't have an entitlement attitude, and were more feminine in general. So these women were upset and lonely.

Perhaps it's the same way in Japan? If you can find some western women who are working there maybe that would be a good source of dating material. Can't guarantee they would be high quality, but it's all a roll of the dice.

 

[DonGorgon]

welcome to the jungle!!!!!! yup its hard as hell out her for straight men.. you better be very good looking rich have drugs or be a DJ/bouncer at a night club or something.. in the hunt for sex men out number women 15 to one now so females have all the options and power and in most cases they only even aknowledge the advances of top 10% alpha males.. which is why they say carp like "I cant find any good men" they ignore 90% of the male population...

 

[drak_ool]

To the OP: I just came back from Japan so I can relate to some of the points you are making. How long have you been in Japan for?

From my experience, there are many advantages w/ Japanese women, as well as some disadvantages. As far as looks, sure it will be harder to find curvy women. But on the bright side there are no fat women and all of them have tight pvssies!

As far as personality, you need to understand a whole lot about Japanese culture before you can understand their women. They are way more reserved, way more proper but also way less bi.tchy than Western women.

My advice to you: expand your hunting grounds. Clubs are fun for meeting young girls looking for one night stands. In Western style bars (the only ones where you can mingle with other groups) you will find it easy to get laid as all the girls there are looking for non-Asian guys. However these are not the best places to find educated, non-slvts older japanese girls (mid to late 20s) since they simply do not go to these places! You really need to understand that in Japan most of the high quality women drop out of the bar/club scene after graduating from uni.

A great way to meet a larger variety of girls is day game. Japanese girls are WAY more approachable than Western ones. Most of them will stop and listen to what you have to tell them. The language is a giant barrier, but I was picking up girls w/in my first 10 days in the country by using simple lines. Do you have a phone? Keep in mind that Japanese pple always know how to write English much better than how to speak it, so communication will be a lot easier over phone-email.

Finally, the biggest piece of advice I have for you is make as many Japanese guy friends as you can. They will introduce you to their (girl) friends who want to meet american guys, they will take you out with their groups... Basically, if you make it known to your Japanese guy friends that you want a Japanese girl, they will help you out big time.

EDIT: DonGorgon, you might be right about girls in other places, but your comments do not apply to Japan. In Tokyo, if you are non-asian and have a good paying job, you are automatically in the top 10% of the male population REGARDLESS of your looks. If you also look decent, girls throw themselves at you. This is why i say that the key to escaping from the trap set by the Western feminazis is to travel...