Stanley
Master Don Juan
Everyone wants different things. Everything is relative. What might work for me might not work for you. Understand what it is you want and go after that. Want a relationships? Cool, go for a relationship. Wanna be transient and enjoy the casual side? Spin plates. Want to test the waters and vet for an ltr? You could spin plates or actively seek a relationship exclusively. Spinning plates is but one of many sexual strategies and few guys can actually pull it off.
I'd advise taking a step back from all of this and just spending some time upstairs and readdressing what is you want, from this board, from women, from relationships, from life, from your career/education and so on. That said YOU DO NOT NEED TO HEED my advice if you don't want to. This thread will likely turn into a bunch of dudes arguing with you, justifiably so since the tittle and post alone will ruffle feathers.
Plate spinning is not for everyone, but in reality you could just think of it as not dating exclusively, even Rollo himself has made an effort to stop saying spin plates and refers to it as dating non-exclusive. Do not blame a sexual strategy for the sabotage of your relationship, that doesn't track. Just because you hear something online does not mean you need to act on it. If you had a quality relationship I haven't a clue why you would jeopardize that. A lot of guys here are in happy ltrs and they would tell you to NOT to spin plates. A large premise of spinning is literally to find a quality girl to move up to relationship material. You blew it, not the site, not the methodology, you're lack of productivity was your own fault. A lesson to be learnedThe idea of “spinning plates” influenced me to take some actions that would result in me losing a girlfriend. This mindset is harmful because not only was I NOT being productive but I realized the demographics were not in my favor (and I’m sure not in most men's favor either).
Disagree. Casual relationships allow you to be transient, they are great for when you are in a changing period of your life. Stability is when you want a relationship (if that's' your prerogative). Women who want commitment from a man (key word man, not boy) expect a incredible amount of stability in your finances, emotions, strength and so on. Casual relationships do not. This is why you even hear from boomers to young men to not date 'seriously' in their 20s. BUT again, everyone is different. I dated two girls seriously in my early 20s and I learned a lot. I also learned I don't want a committed relationship any time soon and by 'playing the field' I've come to know myself better and know what I want out of women.I realized “spinning plates” is ONLY BENEFICIAL depending on where you're at in life. You see...I have friends (19-25 years old) who don't attend college and mate with women who don't attend school either. For them dating is different. They are not worried about exams or advancing themselves (as seriously as others). They are more focused on meeting new people, partying, and their job. If you have don't many responsibilities OR are already in a position of stability (comfort) in your life, THEN you can make the choice of deciding whether or not you want to try to bang as many women.
BUT! If you are NOT in a position of stability and you have responsibilities, it's not smart to plate women. You are less likely to manipulate yourself/the environment in your favor to succeed. Plus, if the woman is in the same situation and has responsibilities such as school, she's may want to study instead of hanging out with this guy.
Yes, some people here lack nuance and they read clear as day. Again, you need to be aware of this and need to have the common sense to think for yourself. You do not need to take on someone else's opinion or stances on things if you do not want to. Reflect on them, consider them, and adjust as needed (if even needed). In this post I am writing currently I express disagreement and counter you with takes from my own experience, you do not need to take them on for yourself if you do not want to. There is a lot of finger pointing and old man screaming at the sky going on in your post op. It sounds like you are bitter and angry and looking to take it out on the board. Don't do that. I think some of your critiques are valid, but this seems entirely like a you problem. I don't want to call you immature because I've made some dumb mistakes while listening to others advice in my early 20s when dating and it burned me good. But when you realize those mistakes, own those mistakes and address the insecurities behind them you grow exponentially. The first step in that process is being accountable.People who say "just spin plates bro" don't recognize everyone's situation is different and that actually going for a LTR may be more beneficial than banging as many women as possible. Overall, spinning plates is overrated and should not be advised for everyone. Just my opinion!
I'd advise taking a step back from all of this and just spending some time upstairs and readdressing what is you want, from this board, from women, from relationships, from life, from your career/education and so on. That said YOU DO NOT NEED TO HEED my advice if you don't want to. This thread will likely turn into a bunch of dudes arguing with you, justifiably so since the tittle and post alone will ruffle feathers.