"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Spinning plates, but still seem to have a strong preference

S

SmoothTalker

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So in the interest of being unattached/aloof/not too available as this site preaches, as well as the interest of having multiple options, I've been working on spinning plates lately.

There are several girls I'm currently seeing/dating casually, and overall things are going well with each of them.

However, for some reason I'm not really experiencing that unattachment effect I've heard about. Even though objectively all the girls are roughly the same value, I'm finding myself with a strong attraction/connection to just one of them. Because of this, even though I'm still seeing the other girls (and trying to meet new ones), my heart is not really in it. I mean I actually look forward to spending time with the one I'm interested in, with the others, it just feels like I'm going through the motions. But it's not that I don't find the other girls attractive, before I developed a connection with the one girl, I was initially interested in all of them.

Is this normal? Am I just one of those people wired for one girl at a time? Mind you I'm not going AFC oneitis on this girl, things are still going well with her, but like I said I just don't get any satisfaction from pursuing the others anymore, so the whole spinning plates thing seems pointless to me.

Thoughts on what's going on?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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K

K2000kidd

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Hey man oneitis is oneitis spinning plates is a great idea in theory
but if your dating multiple women just to keep your mind off the ONE
it may not work because SHE is the reason you started spining plates.

Attraction is subjective so if in your perception the one you like is an 8 or 9
the other women will always have lower value and you will always gravitate too
and still want the original .

The idea of plates is good in the fact you aren't clinging to her
and have a bit more going on in life than just trying to get with the 9
hence YOU become more attractive to her.
 
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J

jnice48146

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My theory on this is that if you were to stop spinning plates, you would naturally seek to spend more time with the HB you're most attracted to. That could be detrimental to how things are good now. If things are going good the way they are, why chance it? No one said you have to be completely into those other chicks, but spinning plates does give you something to do, other than pursue more time with the girl you've "connected" with. If you're not gonna spin plates, make sure you have a really time consuming hobby.
 
S

SmoothTalker

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I guess that's the thing. As a student in a very demanding technical program having too much spare time isn't usually one of my problems anyway.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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sodbuster

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Spinning plates is about setting up a competition for your time. Since one girl has seemed to win at this level. you need to drop some of your other plates and move the level of competition up a notch. Find new girls who can compete with the leader in this group. Rinse and repeat.

It's alot like the ladder technique for reloading rifle bullets. Load 20 bullets with powder 3/10 of a gram difference between each in descending order. Shoot at 200 yards. you will find patterns of bullets that group together-matching your barrel harmonics. In THOSE areas, load up more bullets and see which powder level shoots best in your rifle.

Since you've FOUND one you like better than the others, figure out WHAT it is about her. Find more like her,but a little bit different and narrow down your particular preferences.
 
M

macallik

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^^^I was gonna say what he said.. well except for that extremely confusing rifle analogy.

Quality rises to the top. The chick you are attracted to is quality and the chicks you are getting tired of are not for you. Get more girls of the same caliber as the high quality plate and lose the chicks you are attracted to little by little.

Read up on Plate Theory in the archive by Tomassi
 
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