"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Spinning plates...and dates

thirdtimescharm

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When it rains, it pours...

Plate #1) Been seeing since we met in November. Things heated up in a big way in December. Flight Attendant, 50. Married, but separated. Just wants someone to see when she's in town. She seemed to get a little overly-attached, so I put a little space between us. But we're getting together tonight.

Plate #2) Met in October for lunch. 41, a hairstylist trainer. Then silence until November. She was"involved" but it didn't work. I put her off...until the beginning of the year. We spent 3 nights together, and some random dinners. She said "no commitments for 6 months" and then went a little dark on me, but still seems to be in the mix now again. I'm ok with things slow and steady.

Date #3) Met in October, had a few g-rated dates. A real sweetheart, 41, Opera singer/music teacher. We've kept in touch after I told her I was "too busy" to date, and then through most of January she was sick and actually so was I (combination strep/bronchitis). She was the aggressor here, asking me out even after I was totally unsure if she was interested. We are meeting up again this upcoming Wednesday.

Date #4) Saw her profile on POF many months back. 41, a professional organizer. I'm very attracted to her, both intellectually stimulating and physically. Favorited her back then, because I saw she never logged in. She did log in, end of January, saw my profile, and wrote to me simply saying how she liked what I had written. We met Wednesday, a drink, some chat. Two days later, I asked her out to see a movie (one I wanted to see). We went, had some more time to chat. She did some very thoughtful things for -me- but at the end, all I got was a cheek. Text this morning, good banter, and I said there's a girl, big brown eyes, cute short haircut, and I just wonder how good a kisser she is. She replied, "go slow and I'm sure you will find out." As long as the behavior is consistent and she's willing to do things I choose, slow it is.

So I'm pretty happy with all that. All of these women, in a addition to being low drama in my life, are "my type" physically speaking. In fact, I've NEVER been in a position to be dating four women at the same time who all turn me on like this. It's almost overwhelming. I feel like simply deciding to stick with what I like and rejecting everything else has opened up some kind of a flood.

#5) And last weekend at a Super Bowl party, minding my own business, made no overtures, and yet there was a friend of a friend of mine who I barely spoke to who slipped me her card. So I added her on linkedin, and we have since exchanged a couple of short emails, mostly writing about nothing. In the last one, she said "would love to meet up some time."

So #5 is not close to cracking the list above, but I'd hate to sever future considerations, as she seems nice and genuine enough. But I honestly don't have the time or energy to see her now, or soon. So what's a good response?
 
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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Knight's Cross

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Good on you 3rdTime! Spinning Plates does wonders for ones game.
 

thirdtimescharm

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and the flood continues...I got a call tonight after the flight attendant left from the host of the Super Bowl party. Two more of the women there were inquiring about my status. Now, I have to say, I could be in better shape and all that, and my job status is a little sketchy from a long term perspective. But this is crazy.
 

Greasy Pig

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Peaks and troughs.
I envy you because I've been in a trough for months. But I know every day spent in a trough is one day closer to another peak.
Enjoy it!
 

thirdtimescharm

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Knight and Greasy...thanks...but you know, I still do find myself having AFC thoughts here and there. Which is why I'm wondering what to do with potential #5...and others. Maybe just keep doing what I'm doing I suppose...cause it ain't exactly broke (though I have to be careful or I might be!)
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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