"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Spinning my plates or spinning my wheels?

GameOfNoGame

Don Juan
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I've really been trying to fight it but I'm starting to feel like crap. My last girlfriend turned out to be, without hyperboli, the worst person I've ever encountered. Beautiful, intellegent, talented & charming but doesn't use them for anything good & is otherwise utterly lacking in qualities of merit.

It's a blessing really that she flaked on me but my lonliness is getting me down. It's not that I can't meet girls, I can do that easily. The problem is I can't meet girls I like. I really don't want to have sex with a girl just because she's willing or hear inane chatter just for the sake of some company.

I feel like I'm spinning my wheels rather than spinning my plates. I get it, it's supposed to be a weeding process & to hone one's skills etc. but it's just starting to feel like a waste of time because I don't give a **** about any of them I've seen lately. And it's not like I have ridiculously high standards.

I just know what I want but I don't know where to find it. My ex was so close but she has no heart despite her charms and I'm really starting to feel like it doesn't matter how great I am or if I'm a sparking conversationalist or skilled with my hands on another if I can't use it for someone I find special?

I just don't know what to do, do any of you?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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runner83

Master Don Juan
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zekko

Master Don Juan
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You don't post your age, but the main thing you probably need is patience. Fact is, it can take years, even decades, to find a woman that is really, truly "special". I was 33 before I met a woman that I would have even considered marrying.

Don't get me wrong, I had my "oneitises" before that, but they weren't suitable for marrying, and I knew it. Either that, or I was not ready to settle down myself.

Like runner says, all you can do is go out and find them, and go through them until you find one you like.
 

PokerInTheRear

Don Juan
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Nov 23, 2010
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Yep - I know the way you feel. Just don't get to the point where you start trying to make the mediocre ones into your dream-girl, that is a mess waiting to happen.

Keep doing what you're doing and maybe you'll catch a big fish - maybe not, who knows. It has a way of finding you (not the other way around), but you gotta do the work - it's not going to find you piss-drunk hanging out with your buddies playing video games (or maybe it will).

That's the beauty in every day - no guarantees. Your best way to view the day ahead is with goals, but less expectation.

Another option: You could go to your town-square and climb to the highest point and start screaming, "REVEAL YOURSELF!" That could work too...
 
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