Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
ThisJokerlsk said:I've been feeling really bad the past week, sickness wise, and yesterday we played spin the bottle and truth or dare. The truth of the matter is that things didn't turn out my way, but my friend, who is more attractive, funnier, etc. actually did get to kiss the girl I'm interested in. It sorta felt weird to be honest. Like a mixture of jealousy and the sickness I've been feeling lately.
I hate the way my friends view me. They view me as this non-sexual, innocent, guy. You know, I'm gonna be honest. I usually don't let things get to me, but that **** ate me up inside. I haven't felt that way in a long time. I couldn't even sleep. You know? Why can't people view me in a better way? I'm tired of this, "Well, I could kiss Jokerslsk, but he wouldn't let me." I'm going to hear stuff like this my entire lifetime. Yeah, I am afraid, and I can admit that. I'm afraid of a bunch of things, and I shouldn't be. Even when it's right in front of me. I can't just go out and say, "**** it!" because i care TOO much. I genuinely care about people. I couldn't ever be a player, man *****, etc. But my friends, they view me as the complete opposite as that. They say I'm going to live in a monastery and be the actual 40 year virgin.... All joking of course, but still
I really, really, really, feel like absolute **** right now. I feel betrayed and it's like I've actually been hurt. Wow.
Moping around asking why this and that...wishing for something isn't going to do jack. You can make it stop in the instance you read this message. Look at things in the 3rd person to better grasp where you need to improve. Keep your head up, do your best hope for everything and expect NOTHING. As to not let yourself down.Jokerlsk said:This
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
I posted this earlier in this thread:JokerIsk said:A lot of it was out of a jealous rage.
It sounds like now you're the one being the jealous friend, and while you're not c*ckblocking him I'm sure you'd love to. You need to get your sh!t sorted because if you're going to get mad at your friend because he's hooking up with a girl that you failed at then that's your problem and it's not right to take it out on him or anybody else like you did.Me said:If your friend likes this girl, and is her "best friend" then he is not going to get anything from this girl. She views him as a friend at best and as someone she can order around and take advantage of at worst. She is not going to do anything with him.
Your friend is a complete AFC. You can try waking him up to the fact that it's not going to happen, but it sounds like he's too far gone and will just get hostile to that. If he's that far gone then I would just go for the girl anyways, because your friend is the one who has the problem and not you, and your friend is the one c*ckblocking you (the guy who still has a chance), and that is not cool. I'm all for bros before hos but when your "bros" start stepping on your **** and c*ckblocking you they're not your bro anymore.
With that being said, you'd have to accept the fact that you could lose your friend over this. My opinion, as I said before, is that I would go for it because I wouldn't want to be friends with someone that does that. Worst case scenario he'll stop being your friend, best case scenario he doesn't give a ****, but what will probably happen is that he'll get pissed off and then get over it eventually.
But like I said, you have to be prepared to take that risk. That's your decision. I say go for it.
Details?JokerIsk said:He slapped me in the face... and that's what really set me off.
I was on the verge of beating his ass
You get treated how you do because of how you feel about yourself.JokerIsk said:And i'm not embarrassed by my sexual needs. It's just, people assume i am. I don't know how to describe it, but it's like I'm forced into the role that they GIVE ME, and I'm about ****ing fed up with it, because NO ONE can tell me who I am. I'm so tired of it.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Jokerlsk said:He said I was a little *****
and i said, "What was that? Get the **** out of your mouth and speak up."
And he said, "haha, that was a good one."
and i siad, "haha, that's what someone says when they get ***** slapped."
and he was like, "What did you say?"
and i said, "Sorry, you still haven't gotten the **** out of your mouth yet. Speak up *****."
and then he walked over and slapped me, and I grabbed his shirt and threw him against the wall. I pretty much told him if he ever touched me again i would beat the **** out of him.
THen he said, "Whoah man calm down."
And i said, "If you're gonna slap like a *****, i'm gonna treat you like a *****. Get out of my face."
WHYYYjokerlsk said:I texted her saying, "Hey, i'm gonna call you, okay?" and she said, "Sure.." so I called her. And we talked for 2hrs on the phone. I apologized for the way I was acting
Eaglez and Brighty, I think the OP might have "accidentally" changed the story in such a way that it seems like he defended himself.eaglez1177 said:Wow this thread is really startin to confuse me...like brighty said, that just doenst seem like jokerlsk at all...people dont just go from completely reserved nice guys to complete and total douchebags.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.