"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Spending semester abroad, need strategies (22m)

BergischerLöwe

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I'm a German/American dual national (I normally live in the States) spending a semester abroad in Salzburg, Austria until the end of April. During my time here (besides the obvious studying) I'm seeking to try and connect with the local women, as I've only met girls in the US so far, and I find the women here to be better looking than those in America. However, already being here for around two weeks has exposed some yawning gaps in my game.

Stateside I've had to rely solely on Tinder to meet any women at all, and even then I always have had to wait literal MONTHS until I get any sort of leads. The Tinder game in Austria does not seem like a good prospect either, I hardly get any matches with anyone, and even when I do I don't get very many replies. Therefore, my best bet appears to be bars and the like, but the problem is that I've never managed to pull a girl whom I first met in real life instead of Tinder. EVER! Literally my whole skill set is built on using apps, since it's historically the only way I've been able to get any degree of success (which is also not very much). I was also a late bloomer; I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21, and this means I'm a good four years behind most guys when it comes to women and the like.

Because of these factors, I'm horrible at approaching, generating interest, or attracting girls in real life. The other chaps in the same program as me (who are all a couple years younger than myself) occasionally speak of how they were able to meet women in bars or their previous experience with girls and the like, and this leads to me invariably feeling baffled about how they could pull it off, as well as ashamed of my lack of success in comparison. I just keep wanting to ask "HOW?!!" Conversely, I keep telling myself I SHOULD know how to do this stuff. I've been reading seduction-related material since about 2015 and I've read the Book of Pook numerous times, to the point that I can now recite large passages of it from memory. Even so, all I've managed to be able to do historically is swipe on Tinder constantly and hope for the best, which generates about 1-2 hookups PER YEAR.

Essentially, I need strategies for meeting women in real life. The core concepts of seduction are already engrained in my head, and I seem to have very little approach anxiety, but even so when I've tried to talk to girls in bars they all just seem really bored. In the concepts of approaching, flirting, and actually meeting girls I need some serious help. That being said, I do have certain advantages compared to the fellows in my program, I just haven't been properly capable of using them. For example, I have a fairly interesting backstory and my band has four albums out and has toured the US twice, so that could at least make a good conversation piece if anything. Additionally I have a very good command of the German language and have German nationality myself, so in the eyes of Germans and Austrians I'm not a complete Ausländer like all the American chaps I'm here with. Could anyone tell me how I could put these advantages into practice, so that I actually become capable of doing something other than using Tinder as a crutch?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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backseatjuan

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Ok, Tinder in Russia is crap as well, at least in my city. Here it is a different site actually, it could be the case with Australia as well, try to find out.
 
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