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Speed Dating Revisited

Doppler4000

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Anyone have any POSITIVE stories about speed dating? I tried it about a year ago when it was a new thing and, oh man- we didn't even go in because there wasn't one even average looking girl in the group!!! Yet, all the time you see this stuff on TV and the women look good. Is it worth another shot or could I find better things to do with thirty bucks?
 

racerX

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I am going to a Speed-Dating event this Tuesday nite. It will be my first speed-dating experience. I am expecting 1/2 of the girls to be ugly or fat. I will gulp a few beers before the event & I will post my experience on wends morning. People on this board said i need to be unique & different. I need some help guys. What can i do do set me apart from everyone else?
 

MisterAl

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Speed dating is fun and with practice can net decent results. I'm seeing two speed dating girls right now.

The best part of speed dating is that everyone is expected to be single and expects to meet single people! Some rules and tips:

1. Dress very well. Shiny shoes, dress pants or khakis, and collared shirt. Contrast works well for me. Black slacks and light blue or yellow button-up shirt, or khakis and navy blue shirt. Wear a belt and a gold watch.

2. Do mingle with all the women you can before, during intermission, and after the dating periods. This is truly where you make the good contacts, have opportunity for kino, etc. I met my favorite girl after a speed dating event right as I was about to walk out the door to go home. I saw her alone and decided to make one more approach before leaving.

3. Don't talk about the same boring crap that everyone else talks about. Oh, hi Sarah. What town are you from? What do you do for work? YAWN.

4. Do be different. Ask her about her name. Ask about something she's wearing. She'll ask you soon enough where you're from and what you do. Be brief and then turn the same questions around on her. Then make fun of her a little. These are the basics here, they apply anywhere.

5. Don't stand around looking bored during intermissions. This is suicide. Find someone and approach.

6. Do have a drink or two if you need to loosen up. I avoid beer because it gives me beer-breath. I do drink vodka and fruit juice and nurse the glass all evening. Don't drink so much that you get buzzed or lose your judgement, or start to babble. No woman will pick you.

7. Do make her laugh! The only women that ever choose to give me digits are women that I can keep laughing.

I first started speed dating last year, and have been on a recent binge. On my first few events I didn't match with anyone and got no numbers. I have violated every rule above except for the dressing well rule. Don't get discouraged, learn from your actions and results and try again.

The people that attend the events vary greatly. I've been to some very good and very bad speed dating events. If you find no one you would pick at an event, you can often get a free coupon to another event, well worth it.

The women that attend are one of the following:
1. Women that come alone because they don't meet men and are actively looking for someone. This includes teachers and nurses. These women are rare gold. Both of my speed dating girls fall into this group.
2. Women that are really curious and convince a couple friends to come along with her. Usually interesting, but you have to break into her little gaggle of friends to get to know her.
3. The friends of woman #2. They are there for the night out and are a dime a dozen. Make nice with them because they will compare notes with #2.
 
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MisterAl

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I edited my post above because I forgot something really important! Tip #7: Keep her laughing! That's usually my key to her heart.
 

Chaos-Knight

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you missed one:

8. Kino - find excuses to touch hair,arm,legs ect...
(while your talking) and never say sorry.


me: wow! nice hair!(reaching for her hair)
It feels so smooth, so.... are you shaved down below ? (slap!):D
 

Doppler4000

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Excellent info MisterAl (great, now you may have talked me back into it). Let me ask you one question first. What exactly do you do during the intermission and mingling time? Are you approaching ones you already talked to, getting a jump on ones you haven't talked to yet? Are you actually trying to close them during this time and get their numbers, etc. at that point too? Even more details on what's worked well for you would be great.

RacerX- Let us know how it goes.
 

MisterAl

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OK, here's the structure of a speed dating evening:

It starts usually around 7PM on a weeknight in the back room of a bar. I try to show up by about 6:45 or so to have a tasty drink in my hand and approach and meet female participants as they show up. Try not to be one of the poor bastards standing around alone with the deer-in-headlights look as he waits for the host to say it's OK to start dating.

By 7:30 the host gets the thing rolling and starts the first set of random dates where we get assigned to a different table for each of the 8-minute or so dating periods. Everyone has a notecard where they write down the names of each person they meet and some notes to remind them about whom they've met.

After the first set is a 20-minute intermission. Get a refill on your drink and do some more approaches. Try to meet as many women as you can. I don't think there is any excuse for not meeting at least 75% of the women that attend. One thing to keep in mind is that the lady might be recovering from four very bad AFC-ish dates.

There's another set of dates to go through, and then when it's over, stay for a while. Approach the women that choose to stay. They're probably having a good time. If I hadn't approached my girl at the end of that evening...

OK, what makes speed dating a bit bizarre and gruelling is that you can't really close. You can't get digits while you're there. But you do have your scorecard with all the names of women you've met and some idea about which ones you'd like to see again. All you can do is make a fantastic first impression and hope that the women you like select you.

You're asked to go online later and enter the names of women you'd like to see again. The website will tell you who your matches are and give you digits. Some ideas:
- Wait until the following evening before logging in to enter names. It keeps the suspense high for the ladies who've picked you earlier. I haven't figured out yet if this makes any difference.
- Don't pick every name in desperation that someone picked you. That's lame, unless seriously every girl was worth seeing again. It can happen, had an event like that not too long ago.
- Remember your goals. You have the option of picking girls as friends only. Don't do this out of sympathy because it can earn you a stalker. You're probably not looking for friends here.

Click submit and crash-and-burn. No, hopefully you'll get a set of digits or two. If not, adjust your style and try again. Doing these events forced me to learn how to approach women, even how to handle groups of friends alone.
 

DJ de Florida

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Originally posted by MisterAl
Speed dating is fun and with practice can net decent results. I'm seeing two speed dating girls right now.
MisterAl-

I've never been to one of these but I visited a website after seeing a special on the local news. The service in my area is www.pre-dating.com. The price for a session is $29. They advertise you will meet 10-12 others in a two hour time period.

I do the usual meet women in clubs, bookstores, malls, etc. and online thing. I might give this a try. I see dating as a numbers game and it always helps to meet more women.

Just curious about some things:

1) What age group meetings do you attend?

2) What percentage of the women do you think are divorcees and/or single moms?

3) Have you at least met 3 women each time that you would have approached in a usual environment ?
 

Doppler4000

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Originally posted by MisterAl
There's another set of dates to go through, and then when it's over, stay for a while. Approach the women that choose to stay. They're probably having a good time. If I hadn't approached my girl at the end of that evening...

OK, what makes speed dating a bit bizarre and gruelling is that you can't really close. You can't get digits while you're there.
So, MisterAl- are you saying that even when you approached this girl at the very end you still didn't get her number then and instead you actually waited and went through the whole process through the speed dating service to get her info so you could hook up?
 

MisterAl

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Doppler4000: Yep, pretty much. We hit it off though, I figured she would pick me. Boy was I glad to see her name and number show up on my page when I logged in the next day! That sweetie just called me out of the blue an hour ago to wish me a good trip and make sure Saturday was still on. Ahhh. :D

DJ de Florida: I go to the 22-32 and 25-35 year old events. I figure less than 10% are divorced, probably much less. Haven't met any mommies that I know of. I suspect this changes sharply for older age groups. As far as meeting at least three decent women each time, I'd say often that number is 8-12, but twice it was zero.
 
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