Speed Dating Message

[OklyDokly]

Hi

I went speed dating a couple of weeks ago, and got a match, someone I kinda liked. However when I messaged her in the morning, I never got back to her. I'm posting the message below, because I'm looking for some critique of where I might have gone wrong with the first message if I did at all. Some details have been commented out for privacy. Any advice would be appreciated:

Hi Georgina

We met Wednesday at The Bar, and I enjoyed speaking to you. How's your week been?

Also wondering if you're interested meeting up for a coffee sometime? If so get back to me and I'll be in touch

Anyway hopefully speak soon

 

[darthsidious]

You are asking us to analyze what you've done, here is the list of what I think you did wrong:

1. You sent her the message weeks later after the speed dating event.


2. You gave a vague statement and then a vague question.


3. You asked if she was interested in going out with you.

4. You asked her out for coffee.

*electrocutes you with lightning bolts*

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

URGH......this is another example of all these techniques and tactics, and I have to do this right and I want to make sure i breath a certain way....

SHE IS A HUMAN BEING. Treat her and see her as that. Say what the fvck you want to her!!

PVSSY-EATER DAMN IT IS OUT

 

[OklyDokly]

Thanks I probably should have been more specific.

Oh and I sent the message the day after the event, around 5pm...

 

[OklyDokly]

Originally posted by PVSSY-EATER
URGH......this is another example of all these techniques and tactics, and I have to do this right and I want to make sure i breath a certain way....

SHE IS A HUMAN BEING. Treat her and see her as that. Say what the fvck you want to her!!

PVSSY-EATER DAMN IT IS OUT

You know in a way I believe you're right...

One of my biggest past mistakes has been to 'overanalyze' things. If these techniques are conciously in your mind when talking to people you like then you just promote yourself to be a bundle of nerves, as you're constantly analyzing what to do next. I've learnt that spontaneous decisions should be made spontaneously, without thinking too much about what you're doing. That is the way in my experience to be natural.

However in a way I believe you're wrong...

People can change, and the way they do this is through reflection on their past mistakes, and then working out how they can change themselves as to not make that mistake again. You're right in a way, maybe I should be looking for the cause of things, but this is often hard to find without an outside perspective.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

But buddy listen, there is not such thing as rejection with women. Oh, oh, did he just say that! yes I did.


In order to earn more money, you have to learn more, or work harder and smarter? Argee.

In order to get toned, you have to exercise and eat right, agree?

See listen, the problem with this woman topic, is that the topic itself, is answered, with techniques and stragetidies, and talks about nothing to do with............DO I EVEN LIKE HER?

I mean, the whole center or focus is, how can I impress her, or make her want to sleep with me, or make her want me? Then these same guys, who just posted a article on that, turns aroudn and says, I am the prize! How, when all your energy is spent in learning techniques and not put into your career or your future.

I duuno, maybe its just me. You know, I always have been a little different, but......haha, think for one minute? Think about the guys in the world who all the girls want to have sex with, no not the celebrities, the guys you see everyday. Now, think ,really think, do you think they are on a website, learning techniques, or, OR, do you think that their focus and energy is spent on themselves, do it is what they want, and talking with a girl they just WANT to talk to. You dont have to know how to seduce women, for women to want to seduce you. And that my friend, is the scam of this site. It teaches you, you must know how to seduce or create interest, before a woman wants to fvck you or even marry you. And that is not true. So you say, why do women want to fvck certain guys, one answer, because that guys sees women as human beings, say HUMAN BEINGS, you know what a normal human is right? I mean, you just act and treat that person like...whatever, you know, that person is just normal......that is why women want that guy, because they feel comfortable aroudn him, because women dont want to feel like projects or goddesses, I mean, before I continue because I got to go in a minute, do you see what I am saying right now?

 

[OklyDokly]

I most certainly see what you're saying, and I value your points. However I do see a couple of flaws to your argument.

Firstly the journey from being a person who is worried about what other people think and how other people value him to being a person who is completely secure and self-confident in himself is a lot easier in theory than it is in practice. Just imagine a situation where you think you know yourself and you're confident and then you have a bunch of school kids come up to you and take the piss out of say a speech impediment. Not everyone can handle that situation and just be able to walk away and say 'I am who I am.' It takes a certain mindset to be able to do so, a mindset which I believe many people on this site are here trying to discover. My question is if you were one of these women who wanted to have sex with someone, and you saw him taking a verbal beating from a group of kids, and reacting to it with little confidence, what would she think then?

Secondly I don't believe these techniques are about objectifying women in any way. That's something I'd never want to do. However there is one thing many of us have been never taught which is etiquette. In other words how women expect to be treated either consciously or subconsciously. These techniques I believe are ways of addressing the etiquette problem and so helping you to feel more comfortable with women and for them to feel more comfortable with you. Nothing wrong with that is there?