"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Speech clarity & Confidence

bluejay83

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My self confidence has grown in leaps and bounds, so has my conversational/social skills.

Problem-is:
I don't speak clearly often.

I seem to talk with my mouth closed a bit, not very loudly with poor annunciation.

It seems to happen when I'm relaxed/lazy at home ,nervous or self-conscious.
If I'm having fun, relaxed & focused on a task I seem to be alot louder.

are there any posters here who have overcome this, or how can I learn to speak slower with proper annunciation.

can't afford a speech therapist.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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PeakIV

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Public speakers are generally advised to slow down their speaking , so speak at half the speed you think you need to. one it helps you think about what your going to say and how you are going to pronounce each word and if you speak slowly you generally don't shout.
 

like2jam

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Record your own speech and play it back. Listen again and then record it again. Try it with video too. You'll be amazed. At first, you might even be a little freaked out.

I learned this trick as a musician. Record what you just played and listen back. It makes you better as a musician so I'm sure it will make you better as a talker / speaker.
 

WoodB

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The previous suggestions are very good. I would also get into the habit of reading passages from books and magazines aloud. I had a stammer as a kid so I read aloud from books to get better. Also, if you breathe slowly and stay as calm as possible, it helps. This even lowers your voice at times.
 

JBB84

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Reading out loud. Another good rule of thumb when in the moment: Slower and lower.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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FairShake

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The slowers and lowers have it.

You may still be awkwardly slow and low but at least they will understand you.

Plus you will be able to formulate your ideas better and keep secret conversations better!
 

evan12

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1- record your speech
2- use voice chat rooms to talk with strangers (hopefully there are some remaining )
 

taiyuu_otoko

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All previous posts are dead on.

People think "talking" is somehow "who we are" and can't be changed. But speaking slowly and clearly is a skill, just like any other skill.

Practice for twenty minutes a day, and you can't help but improve.

Since you mentioned you don't open your mouth enough, when practicing alone at home or in the car, specifically speak while opening your mouth as loud as possible.

The more you practice,the more it will become automatic, then when you're out and about, you won't need to think about it.

I used to walk like a hunched over troglodyte, but with consistent practice, while out walking every morning, I walk a LOT differently than I used to.

Consistent, DAILY practice is key.
 
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