Speaking to girls on MSN

[TheWayOfAllFlesh]

So say you've been speaking to a girl for about a week on myspace, then you ask for her e-mail and get it. When you talk on msn what are things to talk about to get her interested. Bearing in mind that you don't know her that well and it'll be the first time ever speaking on msn,

 

[smoothtalker72]

w/e the hell you feel like talking about. shouldnt really focus on gaining her interest, thats kinda like trying to impress girls which never really works. just talk about what interests you or find out about her

 

[longlifexs]

Concentrate on finding things you two have in common and can talk about so you can use them on possible future dates. Also realise that you're not gonna get laid/anything else on MSN, so if you are interested in more than chatting with her in your free time, don't waste time online and try to take it up to the next level and meet her personally asap (of course not too soon, I wouldn't try anything until I'd be sure her IL is high enough to actually accept a face to face meeting).

Anyway, I spent (wasted?) about two years of my life sitting on ICQ for long periods of time talking to girls (one of which actually ended up as a gf for some 8 months) and think I pretty much mastered that.
It took me way too long to realise the ultimate aim is not to have girls addicted to TALKING TO YOU, but to YOU. Huge difference. That's why I suggest that you step it up asap.
As for the convos, ****y and funny works wonders. It doesn't matter what you talk about, just misinterpret things she says in a funny way, make fun of her, etc. Some girls will react well to what/how you write, some won't. I found out that it is usually better not to waste your time with the latter, but again, what I wanted at that time were fun convos online. Often the girls who seem boring online are very fun to be around in the real world, so as long as you manage to make your part of the convo appealing enough so she agrees to meet you, you will be fine.
One last thing I'm gonna mention before this post gets too long/confusing are smileys (mostly the happy ones - smile, laughter, wink, *jokingly* etc.). Some people will disagree with this, but I think they are essential for making good impression - if you use them right. They add emotions, which are normally very much missing from online (and other non-face to face) conversations. Check how much she uses them and use them a little more. If she uses none at all, send an ocassional one. If she sends one after every sentence, match her.

Hmm, thats about it. But the most important thing is that you don't spend too much time talking to her online but rather try to meet her and only impress her once you do.

 

[Triple T]

Talk for SHORT periods of time. (Seem busy)

Be FUN in those periods of time. (Will raise her Interest level, and make her miss you)

Don't be online EVERYDAY. (Gets her missing you)


Thats about it. You'll drive her crazy. Oh and when you sign on, DON'T initiate a conversation with her RIGHT AWAY. Sometimes don't talk to her at all, just let her go crazy thinking "WHY isn't he talking to me!?!?!?!?!" and then she'll initiate contact if she goes crazy enough. Just mix it up, be SPONTANEOUS!

Also, if she initiates a convo lots first, then she has high IL. Then your all set buddy, get her number, setup a date! :rockon:

 

[619joe]

**** msn.

There I said it haha.

Just dont get into it.Stick with Facebook or somethin man.

The reason why I dont like it,is I dont know how funny I am online.I use my goofiness in person to my advantage and it works.Online though,how can I know it works?Lol,lmao,haha are just a few AUTOMATIC responses.You can never be sure if shes actually laughing.I mean sure she doesnt always need to laugh,but its always a plus.Id say not to get her msn just so she doesnt always have access to talk with you when your online.

Or you could just add her,but only be on rarely.Then you always get into the role of who says hi first,who ends the convos...blah blah.Some girls dont even like to initiate convos on msn so that might throw off your judgement of her.Some girls are away from comp even if they are listed as online.Some just never respond...etc.

For me there are too many factors but for you it may be different. I stick to just plain Facebook and if she wants to talk,she can either post wall msg,send me a message or talk on the facebook instant messenger.

 

[SinJester]

I'm surprised there are no posts along the lines of "MSN? What are you a ****ing pssy!? Get out and talk to REAL girls!!!" yet.

Actually I find nothing wrong with talking over MSN. There are a few things you need to know. If you base your relationship with a girl over MSN if you can't hold a conversation or get nervous in real life it is a complete waste of time. It doesn't matter how much of a pimp you are online when she meets you in real life if you don't match up with your online self it aint gonna work out. So don't ever be the guy who just talks to the girl online, if you want something more than an online buddy it's a waste of time.

That being said if you do actually see and talk to the girl sometimes MSN is a great way to build rapport. It exposes you to her more and enables you to create more attraction and a stronger connection. It's rare that you actually get someone one on one, MSN enables you to do that easily.

As for what to say my advice is not to think about it too much. Just let the conversation flow, be yourself, say what comes to mind. IMO online 'game' is ridiculously easy because you have enough time to always have the perfect line, and you can be whoever you want easily. I've had girls fall in love with me just off MSN, of course some of those times I couldn't back it up in real life so it didn't work out. I did learn a lot of things from those experiences though.

I could tell you what to say and do but that would be pointless because you are a different person to me. Stay away from the interview type questions. You know the conversations no one likes that go "how are you? what are ya doin? hey what music do you like? what do you think of this?". At the start I like to be funny/fun/random/smiley. Rather then just answering questions relate it to your own experience and tell stories (huge conversation skill, really important). After awhile I like to transition in rapport 'what's the craziest thing you've ever done? what really scares you? what was your most embarrasing moment?" etc. But don't do that too early!

 

[chinwaggler]

you shouldn't really use msn all it does is remove your mystery

 

[Triple T]

you shouldn't really use msn all it does is remove your mystery

Not if you know how to use it right. :yes:

 

[SinJester]

Mystery is bull****. It's connection that's important. People say to never talk about yourself to build mystery, and perhaps you could do this if you were an attractive guy with experience and a certain type of game. The problem with this is that it doesn't build a connection. Imagine if two people went out on a date and at the end the girl realized 'I know nothing about him'. How is she going to be able to connect with him?

If you guys are thinking of this in pickup terms, by thinking about all the material you have read, think of this like the Juggler method. When I talk to girls now I don't just ask an open ended question, I relate it to my own experience. "What's your favourite your favourite song? Mine is XXX at the moment because it just makes me feel alive and it really reminds me of this time where ____". Just an example. Isn't that far more interesting then just answering her questions? Try it because you are also far more likely to get a lot more out of her and the conversation will flow easier. It is also harder to run out of things to say because you are giving out a lot of information.

Doing this also gives oppurtunities to relate to you. It gives the possibility of finding comonalities. I did give up on worrying about commonalities when I first started getting into this because I thought it was AFC. It's not, it works great. AFCs just go about it the wrong way. Plus telling her about yourself plus relating it to your experience makes you seem REAL and you will see genuine and authentic, seperating you from a lot of other guys.

This doesn't just apply to MSN

In order to get attraction you have to get her thinking about you. Maybe mystery will do this for you, but it wont happen unless you see her enough.