Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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source of confidence??

teedo

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I have this problem. When things are going good I feel great. I’m in a great mood and I don’t let anything stop me from getting what I want and doing what I want to do. I don’t care what people think about me. But then the smallest obstacle can blow my buzz. For example, a girl canceling at the last minute. Immediately ill take it personally, asking myself questions "what’s wrong with me?" "Am I not good enough for her?" "Did she ever even like me?" Even if I find out later that she had to baby-sit later or something, ill still be asking these questions in the back of my head. All the self-confidence I ever had will disappear. Ill start thinking that everyone is judging me. I start to feel like a little kid again, and I have that feeling that everyone is looking down on me like I'm not equal to them. Ill tell myself that I’m successful, I’m doing great in school, I go out with lots of different girls constantly, I have plenty of friends, and no one has any beef with me. I'll think of all the good times I've had, all the friends I’ve made, all the girls I’ve hooked up with at parties and socials. But it doesn’t do anything. I start to feel like if I’m not the best I’m nothing. I still have this deep feeling stopping me from having a good time. I feel like I’m chained down. I have no confidence. This is a huge problem for me and it’s really holding me back. I can’t call girls or even talk to them on MSN. I’m hoping someone out there can help me get over this problem. :confused:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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tactic

Master Don Juan
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Well man, first i didn't read all of your post. Only because I could tell why you were lacking the confidence. You're just over-analyzing and you seem a bit sensitive about small things. The only way for you to stop taking these things personal is by finding new ways of keeping your confidence to last long. Well the one thing that has helped me is to not worry about it. Don't just read the quote, but you gotta' actually DO IT. Don't worry about these things. It's better to take action than to worry. If you worry, you are only harming yourself and that means you are the reason not the girl.
 

teedo

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The problem is that i cant just stop worrying. It's like theres a voice in the back of my head questioning everything. I'm trying to find out how I can stop worrying and overanalysiing everthing.
 

tactic

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then don't think too much nor should you be thinking about it... keep doing this for days
 

fbplayer06

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Dude, is anything you mentioned that bad? I mean, it's not like you're going to die or something...don't worry so much! You'd probably save a few years of your life if you relaxed a little more... ;-)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Wonderbread166

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You need to tell that little voice in your head to shut the **** up. After all, you're a Don Juan, and shouldn't let little things get to you. You already realize that your problem is that you overanalyze and take little things too seriously. (This is one of the biggest mistakes AFC's make.) So why don't you do something about it? If a girl cancels, it's cool, cause you're the man and can have fun anyway. No need to sulk.
 

Omega

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Originally posted by Wonderbread166
You need to tell that little voice in your head to shut the **** up. After all, you're a Don Juan, and shouldn't let little things get to you. You already realize that your problem is that you overanalyze and take little things too seriously. (This is one of the biggest mistakes AFC's make.) So why don't you do something about it? If a girl cancels, it's cool, cause you're the man and can have fun anyway. No need to sulk.
Yep. Why go for a trout that pisses you off, when you can go for a WHALE? (Not litrally ;) )
 
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