"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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source of confidence??

teedo

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I have this problem. When things are going good I feel great. I’m in a great mood and I don’t let anything stop me from getting what I want and doing what I want to do. I don’t care what people think about me. But then the smallest obstacle can blow my buzz. For example, a girl canceling at the last minute. Immediately ill take it personally, asking myself questions "what’s wrong with me?" "Am I not good enough for her?" "Did she ever even like me?" Even if I find out later that she had to baby-sit later or something, ill still be asking these questions in the back of my head. All the self-confidence I ever had will disappear. Ill start thinking that everyone is judging me. I start to feel like a little kid again, and I have that feeling that everyone is looking down on me like I'm not equal to them. Ill tell myself that I’m successful, I’m doing great in school, I go out with lots of different girls constantly, I have plenty of friends, and no one has any beef with me. I'll think of all the good times I've had, all the friends I’ve made, all the girls I’ve hooked up with at parties and socials. But it doesn’t do anything. I start to feel like if I’m not the best I’m nothing. I still have this deep feeling stopping me from having a good time. I feel like I’m chained down. I have no confidence. This is a huge problem for me and it’s really holding me back. I can’t call girls or even talk to them on MSN. I’m hoping someone out there can help me get over this problem. :confused:
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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tactic

Master Don Juan
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Well man, first i didn't read all of your post. Only because I could tell why you were lacking the confidence. You're just over-analyzing and you seem a bit sensitive about small things. The only way for you to stop taking these things personal is by finding new ways of keeping your confidence to last long. Well the one thing that has helped me is to not worry about it. Don't just read the quote, but you gotta' actually DO IT. Don't worry about these things. It's better to take action than to worry. If you worry, you are only harming yourself and that means you are the reason not the girl.
 

teedo

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The problem is that i cant just stop worrying. It's like theres a voice in the back of my head questioning everything. I'm trying to find out how I can stop worrying and overanalysiing everthing.
 

tactic

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then don't think too much nor should you be thinking about it... keep doing this for days
 

fbplayer06

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Dude, is anything you mentioned that bad? I mean, it's not like you're going to die or something...don't worry so much! You'd probably save a few years of your life if you relaxed a little more... ;-)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Wonderbread166

Senior Don Juan
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You need to tell that little voice in your head to shut the **** up. After all, you're a Don Juan, and shouldn't let little things get to you. You already realize that your problem is that you overanalyze and take little things too seriously. (This is one of the biggest mistakes AFC's make.) So why don't you do something about it? If a girl cancels, it's cool, cause you're the man and can have fun anyway. No need to sulk.
 

Omega

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Originally posted by Wonderbread166
You need to tell that little voice in your head to shut the **** up. After all, you're a Don Juan, and shouldn't let little things get to you. You already realize that your problem is that you overanalyze and take little things too seriously. (This is one of the biggest mistakes AFC's make.) So why don't you do something about it? If a girl cancels, it's cool, cause you're the man and can have fun anyway. No need to sulk.
Yep. Why go for a trout that pisses you off, when you can go for a WHALE? (Not litrally ;) )
 
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