Soul is getting desolated and i'm becoming bitter. Help.

[Cassify]

Sup guys.

Like most of you, i entered in this site to have better chances - and to try to understand - the opposite sex. I learned a lot about it and became aware of a lot of things, but i didn't change that much since the first time i came here. I'm still a introspective, complacent, kinda passive - not gonna lie -, not very good speaker and with a not very high self-esteem, kind of a guy.

With that being said, i must say i'm not a bad person and i'm oriented by some decent values/morals, wich make me try to do good things, respect other people and etc.

But lately i have been realizing that people in general - not only girls - really really desrespect people like me. It seems that ,since i'm the way i am , they feel superior and justified to do it.

p.s: They don't desrespect me in a very open way, but on a underline way where you feel it.

I know my text really cheesy and you guys read this stuff a lot and are getting bored with it. I'm have been very angry lately, specially when i think about this, and with that feeling of desolation where all hope is lost.

So i'd like to see what you guys thought on it, and, if possible, please say something more constructive than those twitter long phrases like "grow some balls" , "stop being a *****" and etc.

ty

 

[NewJack]

There's a lot going on in human interactions that human beings themselves are not actively aware of.

One of the biggest things we fail to understand, is how deeply our mind reflects unconscious choices we have made about ourselves/the world, and shows us these choices reflected back on the world outside ourselves. When we believe something deeply about ourselves, thats what we see outside us in the world!

This, for example:

But lately i have been realizing that people in general - not only girls - really really desrespect people like me. It seems that ,since i'm the way i am , they feel superior and justified to do it.

Whatever it is you're talking about specifically there, your attention was magnetized to it. It was drawn to it. Probably, a very small subset of people actively disrespect you, and in ways you don't yet realize, you are goading them on to do it and then taking special notice of them. Meanwhile you will have won respect and love from many people and not be noticing it or accepting it.

Disrespect is important to you. Why? Because it shows you externally what you believe internally. So you look to it and think: "See? I was right all along. I am not worthy of respect."

If you didn't already believe this yourself, people saying or representing this idea would have no power. You would laugh it off. When people believe things about you that are 180 opposite of your strong beliefs about yourself, you can't even really register their thoughts as having any reality. So this means something to you because deep-down you agree with "them". Whoever they are who are disrespecting you.

There are two approaches to solving personal problems. One is to do things outside in the external world, such as trying to put your pen1s inside a woman's vag1na. The other way is to do things internal to your world: such as listening to your thoughts, observing yourself, seeking meaning and quietude and communion with Higher Forces (however you imagine these), through meditation.

The external method is fun, but it rarely allows a person to heal. And your request is actually expressing a desire to heal, and not anything more. Healing yourself is a life-journey, its rewards are payed back over years, not months. (Although if you become talented you can see progress more quickly, but at first its slow).

So you can heal yourself of this and you probably will. The same desire that brought you here will eventually lead you there. Best of luck, brother.

 

[YAboi]

you have to be ready in your mind and in reality to be assertive and express your anger by showing a bit of aggression in your voice tone and speech when u feel slighted. It will come out in your body language and is the best way to show that you will not be taken lightly by others. After doing this a few times you will be fine.

I had the same experience as you until one day I broke down in tears and said in my mind "enough is enough! People have given me compliments in the past , but I have been focusing on people who try to fool me into thinking im not awesome". After that resolution its been smooth sailing. Research how to be assertive .

 

[Driggs]

people in general - not only girls - really really desrespect people like me.

So change what you are.

 

[foreverAFC]

you have a lot of work ahead of you, but at least you are aware now

get involved in working out and martial arts to have something to channel some of your energy into, its a path to becoming a better person

 

[PlayHer Man]

Once you hit rock-bottom there's no where to go but up.

Picture the man you WANT to be in your head. Then ask yourself what it will take to become that man. Then do it. Become him.

Set goals and achieve them. Its the key to waking up every day with pride and a purpose. Also, don't make dating/f*cking hot girls your only purpose. You will achieve that surprisingly fast.. then be lost again.

Treat life like an adventure to experience and learn from.

My most miserable hours in life where when I had no goals and no direction.

 

[Groverz]

I am/was in the same boat. My self confidence was/is not very high. It is getting better, even with a few girls chasing me it still does not make me feel confident. There are some books out there that can help you find yourself and be confident. I have one my therapist recommended but can't remember the name it's in my car.

To me the first step is admitting you are not where you want to be in life. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to be someone you are not and working towards it. To me that is the sign of someone who is smart and knows what they want.

Go out and make some friends, for me I had to push myself away from my safety zone, which is my PC. I now just go out to bars solo since most of my current friends are well.. computer nerds. Just chat with the bartender if you want, they are always chatty and good at talking. Have a few drinks open up, chat with dudes too, nothing wrong with making friends with guys at a bar, you are both there having a drink so already something in common.

I wish I could be more helpful but I am working on the same things you are. I get stepped on and run over and I still go out of my way to help the people who did that to me, like a little chump but helping others is what makes me happy. I just need to do it differently and learn when people don't really want/need help.

Like everyone has said, work out!! Not just cardio, hit some weights, and get a CLEAN diet. You can work out until you want to barf but if you go home and pound a pizza and beer you won't get lean. You will get some muscle but won't be able to see it. PM me if you want some tips/work outs for the gym. I only spend 30-45 mins there and it works pretty well.