sorry can't go to the movies with you, I have a boyfriend

[Mr.Hash wid da Stash]

Well I know a girl who lives down the street from me, I don't know her that well though. Anyway oneday when I met her in town we got talking and I asked her if she'd be interested in catching a movie sometime, anyway she looked a tad embarrassed and said "I have a boyfriend already"(I thought she was single), so I was like well ok then, seeya around.

Anyway later at home it got me thinking, why wouldn't she want to go to the movies with me, as just a friend? I was asking her out as a friend. Do you think she just said the boyfriend thing because she actually isn't interested to get to know me at all and telling me she's taken would be the easiest way to let me down? I was just asking her out as a friend by the way. Nothing sinister.
Thanks in advance fellas

 

[Krassus]

Stay out of her head. It makes no difference why she said that. She may have a jealous boyfriend, or may not want to spend time with you. Either way, who cares? Next

 

[MickoZ]

If she has a boyfriend, chance are she firstly think it is not good to "date" or do anything else with a guy she has not know from long time (i.e. real friend before her bf, or has a real reason to be friend with the guy, i.e. coworkers, classmate)

I wonder how much girl pull the I have a boyfriend without having one... I would be curious to have serious stats about this =P

Also, the best way to handle this anyway is... "I have also a girlfriend" (especially if you have one ) else just go straigth forward and do a soft-neghit to her expectation, i.e. go in that way "Hey, I am not an easy boy, your boyfriend has nothing to fear about me, all I wanted is to get to go see a movie to know who you are since [insert a reason, i.e. I wanted to know you better, which is true, etc.]"

If you make her comfortable that SHE HAS the choice, I think it will influence her a lot.

Do not say "you have to go with me because we are just friend" rather say: "that you have or not a boyfriend is not a problem with me, all I want is to hang out with you, not marry you, but if the real reason you say that is because you do not want to GO with me, then said so, do not pull me a non-related crap"

Once you show her that she just tried to evade with an illogic reason, chance are she will go with you because she feels comfortable in it ;-)

Hope you get the idea. I just hate it when some girls try to pull that ;-) But still I take it as an opener for a conversation ;-) It is better to take advantage of this rather than repress ourself about it? uh oh.

 

[MickoZ]

Beside... going see a movie to know someone is not really the most smart move, especially if the girl has limited time due to her bf, and other stuff. Take advantage of that time to really met her.

 

[xblitz44x]

Yep, you got it right to begin with. The boyfriend thing, whether real or not, is a way for her to distance herself from you so that she doesn't have to flat out reject you and can blame it on something 'out of her control'.

 

[MickoZ]

xblitz, but if she indeed has a bf, that does not mean she is not interested in you... she mights just repress herself because of the judgement she mights face. Because it is not the "right thing to do". A load of people react that way even if that is not what they want, girl are no different than boy on that topic.

 

[So pimp its scary]

If you are looking for sex... then by all means treat this girl the way she wants, but make sure that she knows that all is good first. (Unless she was serious about her BF and saying that you don't have a chance... which is likely)

BUT in most situations, girls that say that they have bfs are no good, esp for LTR. they are 1) lying about their bf... why do you wnat a liar?
2) they have a bf and you don't stand a chance
3) they have a bf and you do stand a chance ... why do you want some girl that will cheat on you at the first chance?

 

[PRMoon]

Typically, girls use the boyfriend excuse because A.) they are actually committed to this dude and going out with a guy she just met, friends or otherwise looks bad B.) It's an interview for you to see how much confidence you can put forward and effort you are willing to show to get in with her C.) Defensive mechanism to send away guys they don't like.

Regardless of which one it is you shoud always push for the date (you can say just as friends or what not) no matter what response she gives you. I personally prefer coffee or something wh ere you can meet an a less formal social setting then movies which you'll be sitting alone with her in a dark room for about 2 hours. It makes them more comfortable and sets up a situation when you have to talk to one another and allows you to use your skills more effectively.

 

[Big Pappy]

I'm sure most have run into similar situations.

I ran into a girl a few months ago, started the snappy banter, back and forth like we had been a practicing comedy team for years. I asked her for her number, as I had to take off -(always control the departure, if you can help it) I got her number and out the door I went.

When she mentioned a boyfriend, I just ignored it. I really think the purpose in her mind when she mentions a boyfriend is two fold. First, it removes her from guilt. She's told you she had a boyfriend, so if anything happens, it's your fault.
Second, it goes back to the Alpha Male. How are you going to handle the boyfriend obstacle. If some guy back in the caveman days had just killed a fresh dear, and you were hungry, would you take his food or go find your own? Maybe you'd just take a taste to sustain you while you went hunting. Same principle, I'd say.

She's got a boyfriend. So what? That's his problem, not yours.

Just so you know, I did end up meeting that girl for drinks, got to make out a bit and then she got a phone call from her beau, right as I was moving in for the booty.

That's the way the cookie crumbles.