Sooo, Go Out Alone?

[FMCSMT]

Most, if not all, of my friends are either settled down or single and fed up with women altogether, usually from a bad outcome of a relationship.

Getting any of them to go out is like pulling teeth. I've even ventured out to more distant single friends and they just want to meet at the gym and talk about workout routines or meet for business and talk about 401k rollovers and how much $70k will turn into after 25 years at 9% rate of return.

I've even asked to have these convos at places where women are and they won't, or are very reluctant.

So do you all go it alone and then approach a set?

Seems awefully daunting of a task, but I have the personality and looks to pull it off.

But wondering if that's what some of you do?

At 36 it feels a bit weird to lone dog it, ya know?

 

[beforeimgone]

Most, if not all, of my friends are either settled down or single and fed up with women altogether, usually from a bad outcome of a relationship.

Getting any of them to go out is like pulling teeth. I've even ventured out to more distant single friends and they just want to meet at the gym and talk about workout routines or meet for business and talk about 401k rollovers and how much $70k will turn into after 25 years at 9% rate of return.

I've even asked to have these convos at places where women are and they won't, or are very reluctant.

So do you all go it alone and then approach a set?

Seems awefully daunting of a task, but I have the personality and looks to pull it off.

But wondering if that's what some of you do?

At 36 it feels a bit weird to lone dog it, ya know?

Haven't had a proper wingman In years. I hit the mall all the time, walmart, Kmart, downtown, bars, clubs, you name it. Sometimes I meet wingmen in clubs but they don't last long because I soon am off with some other chick. When I find one that is vulnerable to my game I try to isolate asap.

Age is mostly irrelevant and most guys don't have the stones to approach women.

 

[sosousage]

If you do it couple times in a row alone then you will stop seeing this as weird.

 

[Von]

The older you get, the more easy to go out alone

Its what I find personnally.

The important part is always what you do when you go out, not with who you are

 

[bigneil]

Loneliness is fear of oneself.

 

[bigneil]

Just go have an appetizer and drink at the bar of a nice steakhouse and talk to everyone there.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Lonewolf here 38, easily pass for late 20's.....sometimes. Let them guess, never reveal your age. They don't care and typically won't ask anyway.

Your local hole-in the walls and or "dive bars" if you will have the bar fly chick. They are pretty easy to spot out and chat up. There's alway a good mix of younger broads, well alteast were I would go. ONS, pump & dumps mostly, with an occasional temp plate.

I'd hit those occasionally or the higher end restaurant/bar as well. All depends on were you live as well. Larger cities of course will have a lot more options. Plenty of "working" woman will have dinner at a restaurant/bar.
A lot of places have multiple "happy hours", optimal time.

 

[BeExcellent]

As a woman out on business a lot I go out alone and eat an appetizer at high end venues at the bar frequently and have for years. I usually have a glass of wine. I meet tons of men this way. They approach or sit beside me & chat. Just say hello and ask if the wine is good/how the food is, whatever. Even if I'm not attracted I'm always polite.

You never know who you are chatting with, who they might know, how you might network etc. It's great social practice & builds confidence. It's also simple because you simply stay or leave as you see fit. No one else's agenda to worry about.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I much prefer to go out with a mate.

The other week though, all options fell through. Yet I still wanted to go out [sometimes it is just like a discipline... you.must.go.out]. So I go to the local bar and have a cigarette outside. A couple of guys sat down, we start chatting. A couple of ladies then sat down, and soon we are all chatting. The two ladies go back into the bar. Shortly after, one of the guys I'd just met and myself went in and joined them. We all had a very good time together. By the way, I am not a real smoker.

 

[Trump]

As a woman out on business a lot I go out alone and eat an appetizer at high end venues at the bar frequently and have for years. I usually have a glass of wine. I meet tons of men this way. They approach or sit beside me & chat. Just say hello and ask if the wine is good/how the food is, whatever. Even if I'm not attracted I'm always polite.

You never know who you are chatting with, who they might know, how you might network etc. It's great social practice & builds confidence. It's also simple because you simply stay or leave as you see fit. No one else's agenda to worry about.

Good point, but the issue is you are, I'm guessing, an attractive woman for your age. Much different for a woman to go out alone to high end venus and meet men than a man to go out alone to high end venus and meet women. I'm going to get flamed for this, but attractive single women don't go up to men sitting alone and just start chatting away. Yet attractive men will go up to normal looking women and chat it up.

If a man goes out and eats alone, people often think is he is a loser who can't get a date. If a woman goes out and eats alone, she is headstrong and independent and doesn't need a man to be complete.

It's two completely different ballgames.

 

[Reykhel]

I much prefer to go out with a mate.

The other week though, all options fell through

So I go to the local bar and have a cigarette outside

By the way, I am not a real smoker.

Interesting. Why would someone who's not a "real smoker", whatever that means, go outside and have a cigarette.

This sounds like a social smokescreen to hide one's nervousness and insecurity upon finding himself without the security of
the mate that he's become dependent on.

Social circles are really important, but it's equally important to recognize where we have dependencies and work on breaking them. As a man, it's paramount to be able to stand on your own two feet and feel comfortable in your own skin.

 

[Reykhel]

At 36 it feels a bit weird to lone dog it, ya know?

As long as you believe this, you will project that feeling outwards through your sub communications and people will
pick up that vibe from you.....
...it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Most, if not all, of my friends are either settled down or single and fed up with women altogether, usually from a bad outcome of a relationship.

Ok.
So you want to make it clear that you have in fact, got friends. However, they are all settled down or whatever...

Your mind is at conflict here. Your overriding paradigm is "Men who go out on their own at 36 years of age are weirdos" (or something similar).........

.....nonetheless, you find that you want to go out and meet woman and your only option is going it alone. This want is clashing with your (old) paradigm (faulty belief/old script) therefore you start to rationalize (your friends are settled/not interested in going out).......

....inside all of this is the over concern about.......other people's opinions of you.

The key here is to work on your internal script. REFRAME your old paradigm.

People will buy into your reality. If your a man doubting himself and trying to justify that it's alright for him to go out because of whatever reason........that's the energy you'll transmit.

 

[BeExcellent]

Good point, but the issue is you are, I'm guessing, an attractive woman for your age. Much different for a woman to go out alone to high end venus and meet men than a man to go out alone to high end venus and meet women. I'm going to get flamed for this, but attractive single women don't go up to men sitting alone and just start chatting away. Yet attractive men will go up to normal looking women and chat it up.

If a man goes out and eats alone, people often think is he is a loser who can't get a date. If a woman goes out and eats alone, she is headstrong and independent and doesn't need a man to be complete.

It's two completely different ballgames.

Well @Trump I don't disagree with you about that except to say that typically the men who say hello either sit next to me to have a drink and a meal themselves...or they are out for a drink and they say hello.

My point being that if people put themselves in a social environment, there are going to be social opportunities that present themselves.

Many women won't dine alone because they are too self conscious about dining alone or being seen out alone...and I think this is the same problem men have (the reasons are a little different - men may have approach anxiety in addition to being self conscious about being alone...women feel self conscious about being out alone, period)...but in either case hiding at home or in a hotel room isn't going to include opportunity for social interaction, so it's best to get over it and get out there.