son of a... help!

[smeckle]

My girlfriend and will have been dating two months on May 13. The catch is, we both already love each other (no cynics, please, it's real.) The funny thing is this...

There's a guy she knows who's name I won't say, but they went out drinking about three weeks ago. I was livid when she called me later that night to tell me. What she didn't tell me about that night until a few nights ago is, he kissed her. She says she didn't kiss him back (she pushed him away... yada yada yada).

So, we talk tonight and he comes up... We have a real problem... she starts talking and I think she's kidding... She gets pissed and hops off the computer. I call her and she tells me not to call her anymore and immediately hangs up.

I come back to my computer and I see an IM saying "stop calling me" and we start talking about him...and her.

Apparently, she may have feelings for him. Of course, I'm pissed, but I try to play it as well as I can.

I tell her that I love her and to love her means I love all of her. I told her that I only want her happiness and if that means him, than I support her whole-heartedly. She really liked that answer... haha

So, did I go about it the right way? Am I gonna loose her? Someone reposond and help me... I'm kinda at my rope's end here...

Thank you, DJ's.

 

[Ace of Flames]

You love her enough to let her screw some other guy?

That's some devotion right there.

If that's love, I can do without it.

 

[( . )( . )]

Your severley afflicted with AFCism, (no cynics please its REAL)

The only redeeming point in your post which didnt make me cringe with embarrasment was this bit.

I told her that I only want her happiness and if that means him, than I support her whole-heartedly.

Apart from that you appear to be nothing more than a shadow of a man not fit for relationships with women.
Fear not, welcome to a brand new day. You have a very busy next few days ahead of you mate.

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/ Now get to it.

 

[flows101]

hey smeckle truth of the matter is she was never REALLY interested in YOU in the first place because if she was she wouldn't be wanting to get back with her ex "all i got to say is NEXT this B****"

 

[Blazing Redfish]

I dont think that what you said is not necessarily bad if you are in a serious relationship with that girl. In a serious relationship where it is established that the girl loves you very much that could be comforting to her and she might just be testing. But given that you have only been "dating" for 2 months, I think that was way too soon to say something like that. I think you'd be better off showing her that other females want you too.

Regarding to whether she will leave you or not, no one will be able to answer with certainty. It depends on where you stand on her wussy/dominant man continuum.

 

[Socialreject]

Yes, no cynics please, it's real! Problem is... that version of real only exist in the 10" between your ears. Never the less, from what you said, it sounds like you genuinely care about her. Good for you...

The question you need to ask yourself is does she feel the same way?

Facts: She cheated on you, then lied to your face about not kissing him back and pushing him away... indicating his advances were unwanted and unwarranted. Later she tells you she 'might' just have feeling for him and you need to fvck off and get out of her life (in a nice way)... No doubt under the guise that it's a woman's prerogative to 'change her mind' whenever she feels like it.

Still think she feels the same way?

What she says = fantasy
What she does = reality

What she says is probably some excuses to confuse you (make you think she somehow feels the same way but there is 'something' in the way)... what she does is cheat, lie and then proceed to treat you completely disrespectful.

I don't think you should be asking yourself whether you're going to lose her or not. You should be asking yourself whether you are going to put up with that kind of disrespect or not.

 

[future dj]

dude welcome to the club....i remember those days well.....there was this one girl who i was so in "love" with that i too thought that as long as she was happy i'd be happy for her even it was not me.....i just want to gag when i think about those days.....first piece of advice is to read the bible...and then read everything else.....while you might love her she doesnt (most probably) feel that way about you.....would you have feelings for someone else if you were in love with someone....i think not

 

[Distant Light]

"Oh whats love got to do, got to do with it
What`s love but a second hand emotion
What`s love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken"

- Tina Turner

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

You've only been going out with this girl for 2 months and yall are in love. 1 do you realize the community that your in time after time you see Field reports and techniques that can steal wives and gfs right away from others, so what make you think someone can't attract your gf. Remember girls don't think on a logical level its on a emotional level. The guy could have stirred some great emotions and kissed her.

You were also being a AFC supplicating to her, your the guy with the higher value and your the dominant one in this relationship how are you suppose to go running back to her saying you love her and stuff and trying to call her come on man, after all the people you've seen post stuff like this your going to cry about it. Just move on, no need to get pissed was only 2 months. I'm starting to notice most guys on here now just want to learn this to get a gf they would never get better if thats the case because right after they get there 1 gf they feel its ok to stop learning. Go out and have some fun.

 

[Last Man Standing]

"and she tells me not to call her anymore and immediately hangs up."

She is trying to put the blame on you -- don't be a fool and fall for this shyt and don't say you are sorry or something crazy -- in fact do not call her at all - wait until she calls you!!!

Brace yourself, when she calls you she'll say she needs some "time" and/or "space" - meaning "I'm going with other dude"!

What the heck is she going out with this dude and drinking -- it is her fault - don't be naive - this is what SHE wanted!!

And you are NOT in love after two months! Only give your heart to your wife!!!!!

 

[JonSter]

I feel your pain, we've all been there. Here is something that worked for me.

I wrote my ex an email explaining exactly how I felt about the situation and about her, from my heart -- but I didn't send it. For the next week or two, every time I felt I couldn't resist the urge to contact this woman, I'd write her an email explaining how I felt and what I wanted to say to her -- but not send it.

After a couple days, I went back and read the first email and thought, "What the hell was I thinking?" And I'm glad I never sent it - delete! I'd tell myself that if I felt the same way about the email a day later, I'd send it -- and I never did.

When you're caught up in the moment you'll do things you'll regret later.

 

[TxCowboy]

I feel your pain, we've all been there. Here is something that worked for me.

I wrote my ex an email explaining exactly how I felt about the situation and about her, from my heart -- but I didn't send it. For the next week or two, every time I felt I couldn't resist the urge to contact this woman, I'd write her an email explaining how I felt and what I wanted to say to her -- but not send it.

After a couple days, I went back and read the first email and thought, "What the hell was I thinking?" And I'm glad I never sent it - delete! I'd tell myself that if I felt the same way about the email a day later, I'd send it -- and I never did.

When you're caught up in the moment you'll do things you'll regret later.

DEAR GOD MAN !!!! ... how long were yall together for ? ... Im glad to hear u held back , but u definitely take this shyt to the extreme dont ya ? ....

 

[JonSter]

DEAR GOD MAN !!!! ... how long were yall together for ? ... Im glad to hear u held back , but u definitely take this shyt to the extreme dont ya ? ....

I know it doesn't sound that great, but that's how I am with everything. I'll put 110% in something and then poof! -- get bored and lose interest. If she ends it, it becomes some sort of challenge to see if I can win her back -- even though I wouldn't want her back in the long run -- just an ego trip. I dated this woman seriously for about 7 months.

In the past, I would go totally AFC trying to win (or win back) a woman's heart. Then I'd look back about two weeks later and wonder what the hell was I thinking.

This method allows me to get all those feelings out with no regrets. Most of the time we already know what they're going to say or do anyway, so why give them the satisfaction.