Sometimes......it really IS her fault

[backbreaker]

we have it bad here on this forum personalizing everything. If a pickup goes wrong, it's automatically something WE did wrong and WE must hit the forum harder trying to get that perfect pickup ratio... because when something goes wrong, when she says no.. ovbiously there is something wrong with us or something we did wrong?

Well... that's the mindset you have to have at first, because most of us were whimps when we got here, with no spines. However, sometimes, it really isn't anything you can do.

that was one of the hardest things for me to realize because I take failure espically hard. when I fail at something I think of myself as a failure as a WHOLE which is death to your self esteem.

Maybe she is just really a *****. I've had women, when I am in the best moods ever, not even trying to talk to them, just being up beat, are just hateful, rooling their eyes at you, looking at you like you killed their dog, etc. What can I possibly do besides be happy and upbeat?

I've been rejected because I am black, not tall enough, not skinny enough, not big enough, didn't like my accent (southern), because I "look like trouble"

The key is not to take things so personaly. women, since man has walked upright, have been ****s. ****s are nothing new, they are not going away, and you cannot throw away your life becuase of what some worthless **** thinks of you.

I remember one day, about 2 years ago, I was at a bar, and this woman who I thought was kinda cute, was sitting next to me. So I turned around and started talking to her. So I go in, she's not having any of it. And not only not having any of it, she's being a ***** about it. for what reason I dont' know.. I wasn't drinking, and I thought i looked more than persentable.

I was kinda distrought, and here comes this older half drunk guy talks to her ,and she is just eating it up. I mean, every cheezy line you have ever heard, he was throwing it. he looked like he was going to keel over any minute. So I order my food and she is talking to him, now she's drinking with him, and they are all over each other. so as I leave they are leaving, and they are stumbling to the car together. And I get to thinking.. I dont' know alot about this woman, but I do that she is drunk, and she is all over a drunk old guy and they are probably going to go have drunk sex.

What exaclty DID I do wrong? Do was it because I wasn't drinking? If I have to get drunk to approach a woman just so she can accecpt me.. who REALLY is at fault here?

maybe SHE is having a bad day. maybe SHE isn't all there in the head. maybe SHE flew over the Coo Coo's nest.

Anyway, i'm out, just thought I would share

 

[Tekniq]

Or maybe you are trying to validate failure and an inability to apply knowledge correctly regardless of how much of it you?

You say that a woman may just be a b1tch, but have you heard of a little concept called a b1tch shield, it states that every woman has an invisible emotional/mental protective shield around that will help them make what they believe are correct decisions. It is only your fault if you aren't able to break through these shields. It seems that you like so many have reached a point in your game where conventional lines and canned openers stop working and you need more originality and flare, it is all your fault if you cannot bring that to the table. However that is not to say that yes a woman may be seriously mentally unstable or has had the same routine run on her already.

 

[KontrollerX]

"What exaclty DID I do wrong? Do was it because I wasn't drinking? If I have to get drunk to approach a woman just so she can accecpt me.. who REALLY is at fault here?"

Or she could've been tossed aside by a cool black dude like you and wanted some vicarious revenge through turning someone she thought resembled her ex down.

Yeah though BB I see where you are coming from and I agree.

Personal responsibility is all well and good but its taken too far on this forum at times.

Sometimes people are just assh0les or b!tches and its no fault of your own.

 

[iqqi]

I agree with sometimes it isn't your fault, but disagree that it has to be her fault then.

Sometimes it is noone's fault at all, like you said, she could just be having a bad day, or you aren't her type. Isn't your fault, isn't really her FAULT, just an outside determinant. Is determinant a word? Lol...

 

[shinko]

I think it's when you have that balance between knowing when you made a real ****up, such as saying really innappropriate or did something out of order. At the other extreme is when you did absolutley nothing wrong, but your wearing a green t-shirt today or something and thats enough for things not to go your way. I think with experience but also true self reassurance/confidence, you learn to discern the situations where you could have done things better (learning oppotunities) to the situations where she was being a right moo and she needs to sort her life out. Ironically i've found that the only conversations i ever check/critique myself over, are with girls i fancy. All the other girls i dont get a rats about and i bet you can guess which girls fall harder....... Not caring too too much seems to go a long way

 

[backbreaker]

perfect example, the last time I was back home in arkansas, about 3 months ago, I ran into a woman.. nto very attractive, but I was trying to make conversation in the grocery store line. she had on these orange windbrakers and a blue sweatshirt... now there is a school (Hall High) about 10 miles from where we were tha orange and blue are their school colors. So I ask her, "do you go to hall?".. instead of saying the polite or even normal thing.... "no" or "Yes".... she ltierarly rolls her eyes at me and says "why the hell would you ask me something like that.. I'm not even from here. blah blah blah"... So I say "whoah woman.... there is a school 10 miles from here with thoose colors.. and not to many people just wear orange pants with blue shirts"

I dont' know who she was mad at, but you can't tell me something was "wrong with my game" simply by asking her did she go to school nearby. she ought to be happy someone is talking to her no hair having ass.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think it's hilarious to get brutally shot down when you are not even trying to hit on the girl.

One of my worst insults came from a very attractive girl on the first day of law school. We were doing a corny self-intro to a group of about a dozen people. The hot girl said something about how she just got a dog. I am into German Shepherds, and I was wondering if she had a shepherd, too. I blurted out, "What kind of dog?"

She replied, "I have a weiner dog," and then she adds in a nasty voice, "and a husband!"

I wasn't even trying to hit on her. You'd think I had slid up like a 70's lounge lizard and used a sleazy line on her. All I wanted to know was what kind of dog she had.

I got to know that girl fairly well over the next three years of school. She is not a b!tch - I just caught her at a bad time that day. Her own nervousness probably put her b!tch shields up.

 

[BeyondCharm]

BB, you should have said "Oh, I see the pet store gave you the 2 for 1 special!"

 

[ljm]

BB, you should have said "Oh, I see the pet store gave you the 2 for 1 special!"

bahahahhaha :crackup:

 

[typical]

I agree with sometimes it isn't your fault, but disagree that it has to be her fault then.

Sometimes it is noone's fault at all, like you said, she could just be having a bad day, or you aren't her type. Isn't your fault, isn't really her FAULT, just an outside determinant. Is determinant a word? Lol...

Well wikipedia says its some algebra crap LOL http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Determinant

 

[up_an_up]

girls will be a ***** whenever they feel like. If you just happen to be unlucky enough to catch her at a bad time(on the rag, just got dumped, dog died, bad school grades etc), a girl will take it out on whoever comes in contact with her. Just be indifferent about it and go on with your life. I dont understand why anyone would waste any amount of time breaking down a girls "***** shield". A girl is just a girl, go find a better one.

 

[AlekNovy]

I agree with the point.

One of the problems that has come up with guys conciously focusing on seduction and bettering their love lifes is...

They go to the extreme of "responsibility taking".

I mean, personal growth is about owning up to stuff and taking personal responsibility.

Instead of going around blaming your parents, women and everything. You take responsibility. If a woman doesn't respond well, you ask what can I do better next time.

Well I don't agree with this

It's been taken to an extreme and it's time to balance it. Not everything is under your control and especially not other people. Your emotions and reactions are your responsibility. But other people's are not.

Thanks for starting this discussion man, I think it was due time. I've seen that pendulum swing too much in that extreme.