Something too many guys here are missing!

BadNews

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There is a lot of useful information on this site. Some of it is more useful than the rest, but generally this site gives a decent basis for guys who are poor with women to increase their success. There are however a few issues I have with A LOT of the information on this site. In my opinion, there is a lot of 'gimmicky' stuff, that while it may seem to give results and increase success, it is all smoke an mirrors and will only get you so far.

For the most part, the information I am referring to, is stuff that is intended to give you an image of 'alpha', or make you feel like you're 'alpha'. Unfortunately for many guys here it is just a facade, and at the end of the day you're still the same insecure guy. When the going gets tough, and walls start to come down, these men are revealed for the person they really are; often having negative effects on the relationship they've been 'building' as well as their mental/emotional state.

I am a BIG believer in 'spinning plates'. However (as I've posted in a few different threads) I DO NOT BELIEVE PLATES SHOULD ONLY BE WOMEN! It is important to constantly be spinning plates - as we have all heard. The thing MANY guys miss: plates can be your friends, your career, a hobby, the gym, your family, ANYTHING that keeps you busy and occupied - and enhances your life! Too many guys here think spinning plates is only referring to women, they are DEAD WRONG! You need to focus on other aspects of your life. Take time for YOU, enrich YOUR life, and be happy with who YOU are! This is the only guaranteed way to build that confidence that SO many women crave. People on SS often refer to 'being the prize', and many guys use these 'gimmicks' to make themselves SEEM like the prize.

When you are happy with your life, and you are confident in who YOU are, you WILL BE the prize. Instead of 'acting' like you're the prize, you will understand your value, respect yourself, and naturally view yourself as the prize. Someone once made a post about looking for 'the one'. He hit the nail on the head when he said "YOU are the one". When you become truely happy with your life and the direction you're heading, becoming the desire of women requires no effort.

"But BadNews, just cause you're happy with who you are doesn't mean all women are automatically going to love you" you may be thinking. IT DOESN'T MATTER! It really doesn't. When you realize the VALUE that you have - what YOU have to offer the lucky girl YOU decide to persue - rejection is no longer an issue. If she isn't able to recognize the value you hold as a man, HER LOSS!

I urge everyone on this site to TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF! DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! FALL IN LOVE WITH WHO YOU ARE! This is the ONLY way to be happy and successful with women. This is the ONLY way to gain REAL CONFIDENCE in yourself! Smoke and mirrors may get you laid every now and then, but at the end of the day, your life is hardly better...and the success ISN'T EVEN COMPARABLE to your alternative (creating a better life, and being truely happy with who you are).

So get out there! Spin those plates: get that promotion, hang out with your buddies, go to the gym, spend time with your family, take up that hobby, DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! And everything else will fall into place.

Best of luck guys!
 

Pozitron

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I think it's a great post.
We need something like this sometimes...
If you look at it deep going beyond thoughts, other people and your own ego... it's just YOU. That's it. In the end you are the only constant of your life. I think that you matter the most.

Ok... I have some questions and since I've almost always talked in abstract terms I'll just ask for myself. Damn all these philosophies of how one should live. YOU decide how you live your life. Cause it's yours and you don't get another chance to start over or make things better or take that opportunity you missed because of your stupid fear.
Anyway, going back...:

-1-
When you are happy with your life, and you are confident in who YOU are, you WILL BE the prize.]
The question is: When will you be happy? Isn't that your ego when you think life: when I'll do this and get that I'll finally be happy?

I haven't find a way to just be happy all the time. Like constantly and not depending on anything... Do you guys know some? It's confusing.

-2-
TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF! DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! FALL IN LOVE WITH WHO YOU ARE!
This is like my ultimate goal. But how to do that, BadNews? How to fall in love with who you are? That's the question..

This questions may sound stupid. Don't care.
Let's make from this post like a practical philosophy! (cause there are toooo make BS out there as you've said)
 

BadNews

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In answer to your questions Pozitron.

"When will you be happy?"
The simple act of ACTUALLY TRYING to improve your life, is SO rewarding in and of itself. If you can go out each day, and make an HONEST effort to improve your life, and make yourself happier...THAT will make you happy. There is no end to it. It is the constant pursuit of happiness, and it is the most rewarding feeling to actually PERSUE it!

"How to fall in love with who you are?"
I think the above answer can answer this question as well. If you put effort into your life, you will be satisfied with that. You will be satisfied with who you are, and what you're trying to do. When you are TRUELY satisfied with your effort into your life, you will 'fall in love' with yourself!
 

NorwegianDJ

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Happiness is commonly said not to look without for, but within. It won't be found in external things. I believe beliefs are extremely important.

I don't have an answer for your question tho, and I don't wanna answer until I'm truly happy.

I do have this inner lightness in me right now though. I though "if I were to give you one advice, itd be to live every day like it was your last." As I type this, I feel even lighter, as if I were slightly in love, or validated. Weird. I'm not scared of doing the above, but I simply won't, so who am I to give advice on that?

Achieving goals does make you more satisfied. It gives meaning, and progression. Purpose is often equal to happiness.

My question to badnews is: why the username?
Have you achieved this happiness?
 

Pozitron

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It's kind of like: The journey brings us happiness, not the destination?
 

Wolfgang D

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BadNews said:
In answer to your questions Pozitron.

"When will you be happy?"
The simple act of ACTUALLY TRYING to improve your life, is SO rewarding in and of itself. If you can go out each day, and make an HONEST effort to improve your life, and make yourself happier...THAT will make you happy. There is no end to it. It is the constant pursuit of happiness, and it is the most rewarding feeling to actually PERSUE it!
Yes, well said!


About falling in love with yourself, I think that's just a cliche. Of course people love themselves. When you want your life to be better, that's because you love yourself and want good things for yourself. Love is whose happiness your own happiness depends on. If my happiness depends on my girlfriend being happy, then I love her. And my happiness depends on my own happiness too, so I love myself.

The focus shouldn't be on loving yourself anyway. Or even wanting success for yourself. The focus should be on improving yourself and succeeding in order to improve the world (which you are a part of). Paradoxically, only when you aren't thinking of your own happiness so much can you be truly happy.
 

Pozitron

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yea... I think that's the irony of happiness
 
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