Something To Keep in Mind

[JohnGalt]

Especially for the new guys, here is one big thing that I was thinking about the other day.

All the little tips you see, like keep eye contact with a girl, don't be afraid to approach, have fun and a good sense of humor are like symptoms of being a DJ. You can't just add the symptoms and magically become a DJ. Hopefully you will be able to get to the source of being a DJ which is above all to enjoy life. All the rest follows from that.

Sometimes you may be confused about what to do, but make a choice and go for it, and don't be afraid to learn from your mistakes. Even though you may be a DJ you will not always have all the answers, and I don't think you can ever stop learning, or be at the point where you say to yourself, yes, now I have all the answers with women, and know what to do in any situation.

Remember too that you will have your ups and downs, as you roll with the punches of life, and that you have to make the most of the ups, and downplay the downs.

You are never going to be liked by every woman in the world, nor all the ones you like. You may have been a "textbook DJ" and a girl's initial attraction may wane. Girls flake out. I wouldn't go overanalysing those situations and look for things to change.

True confidence is knowing you have a mission in life that is within your power to accomplish. True confidence must come from within, and is not shaken by temporary setbacks.

 

[Sisko]

I agree with you dude... good post..

 

[TheMainMan]

Great post mate. I agree with all you say.

Am trying however to achieve a state of not being so up and down but of being a constant confident, cool self- Unfazed by the setbacks that life deals.

I was wondering what your thoughts are on achieving this 'state of wellbeing'?

 

[JohnGalt]

The way to be confident and cool, all the time, regardless of external circumstances, is to realize that ultimately your thought process is controlled by you. You have the power to see the silver linings of clouds, to turn lemons into lemonade etc.

You can't go placing your happiness on external things, because these cannot be controlled by you, although a lot of people on this board would disagree with me probably, I would say that a good example of the external things you can't place your happiness on is girls.

If you read Pook's posts, one of the things he mentions is that your goals for improvement, (you want to improve because this is something you have control over, an internal source of happiness) cannot include something like not being a virgin in x amount of time, because that is something that comes from outside yourself.

Yeah there are going to be some hard points, and difficult times, times when you are not sure of yourself, but I think that when you get past these, usually by failing then learning from your mistake you are better off and have a positive trend for the future. Then after a number of times of failing and then learning, you realize failing is useful. When I am speaking of failing I am talking about some internal thing that you did not do correctly, not a failure do to some random thing. You will also begin to see how much your outlook can change things, and that your growing confidence snowballs.

To be unfazed by the setbacks of life, you have to live in the present (you can only feel happy in the present after all), while keeping in mind the general path you are on, and that ultimately you will grow from this setback (or repeat it, life is funny like that.)