Something odd opinions pls

[dustmuffin]

I had a date tonight. Second date. She met me at my place. We made out a bit before we went out for drinks. She was very receptive to kino. She reciprocated.

Came back to my place and started making out. She received several calls, she didn't take them but got up said she wasn't going to lead me on, she wasn't going to sleep with me and left.

I think her BF was calling. Thoughts? How should I proceed? I'm thinking NC. I won't call her at all. Just wait.

 

[duster]

No contact. She may well have been interested enough to take a look but for what ever reason has decided not to pursue. Don't take it personally. She was very clear about future intentions so let it go and be grateful for the experience and the clarity. It shows she respects you and herself.

 

[Tenacity]

I had a date tonight. Second date. She met me at my place. We made out a bit before we went out for drinks. She was very receptive to kino. She reciprocated.

Came back to my place and started making out. She received several calls, she didn't take them but got up said she wasn't going to lead me on, she wasn't going to sleep with me and left.

I think her BF was calling. Thoughts? How should I proceed? I'm thinking NC. I won't call her at all. Just wait.

Could have been a variety of things, let me name off some of them:

- She could have a boyfriend that recently broke up with her, now they are getting back together, and she was just using you as a temp. bounce back

- She could be a lesbian and her girlfriend was calling her to come over

- She could be HIV Positive and didn't want to tell you yet

- She could have a sick family member and her family was texting her about them, thus she had to leave

- (insert another reason here)

- (insert another reason here)

- (insert another reason here)

There's no way to figure individual women out other than asking the girl what her problem was lol, and even THEN, you might not get an answer.

I would just stop trying to analyze a woman's behavior. Either you are getting what YOU want out of the engagement with her or not.....if you want sex and she's not giving it, then move on.

 

[BeExcellent]

Who knows. Her kids could be blowing up her phone, her ex or her mother or her sister could be blowing up her phone. She isn't required to tell you.

I wouldn't worry about that. She may be a woman that doesn't put out immediately, she may have got out of there if she thought you were only after sex...she may have a BF.

I am that matter of fact when I get the sense that all a man wants is sex. It does show self respect for herself and for you.

You find out a great deal about someone when you say NO. Poon King had that correct to be sure. Women learn whether or not you are just after sex by saying NO and seeing what you do.

If you go NC, she will take that to mean you just wanted sex and she just saved herself the trouble.

If you like her well enough to ask her out again then do it. She might like you but she might be careful about intimacy. That's wise from a woman's perspective.

 

[ubercat]

Usual rule. If she s fun and there s physical escalation keep asking her out. No action by date 3 is kick to curb.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

- She could be HIV Positive and didn't want to tell you yet

Funny you mentioned this as I matched with a female on POF who said she was HIV positive with undetectable levels. Appreciate the honesty but NO

 

[devilkingx2]

9 times out of 10 when a woman does something you can't explain it's because of another guy.

she didn't have sex with you so she means nothing to you unless she comes back to you and begs for another chance (note: not literally)

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

- (insert another reason here)
- (insert another reason here)
- (insert another reason here)

Pretty much this.

Doesn't matter what her reason was. Short of asking her outright (which looks a bit weak and needy), you are unlikely to receive a rational explanation.

said she wasn't going to lead me on

This doesn't fill us with confidence. Maybe she just wasn't that in to it and she wanted a second date just to confirm that.

As an aside, this second date sounded a bit convoluted: she comes to yours > you go out > you go back to yours. Seems like a weird itinerary for a second date. If she was at yours already, I woulda just had drinks indoors and escalated. That was likely what she was expecting, by turning up to your place from the start. All sounds a bit 'couple-y' really, really too soon; and she may well have felt that too.

Going forward, just play by ear. And try to plan a more sequential itinerary.

 

[dustmuffin]

Pretty much this.

Doesn't matter what her reason was. Short of asking her outright (which looks a bit weak and needy), you are unlikely to receive a rational explanation.



This doesn't fill us with confidence. Maybe she just wasn't that in to it and she wanted a second date just to confirm that.

As an aside, this second date sounded a bit convoluted: she comes to yours > you go out > you go back to yours. Seems like a weird itinerary for a second date. If she was at yours already, I woulda just had drinks indoors and escalated. That was likely what she was expecting, by turning up to your place from the start. All sounds a bit 'couple-y' really, really too soon; and she may well have felt that too.

Going forward, just play by ear. And try to plan a more sequential itinerary.

You are right should have just stayed in.

 

[dustmuffin]

Pretty much this.

Doesn't matter what her reason was. Short of asking her outright (which looks a bit weak and needy), you are unlikely to receive a rational explanation.



This doesn't fill us with confidence. Maybe she just wasn't that in to it and she wanted a second date just to confirm that.

As an aside, this second date sounded a bit convoluted: she comes to yours > you go out > you go back to yours. Seems like a weird itinerary for a second date. If she was at yours already, I woulda just had drinks indoors and escalated. That was likely what she was expecting, by turning up to your place from the start. All sounds a bit 'couple-y' really, really too soon; and she may well have felt that too.

Going forward, just play by ear. And try to plan a more sequential itinerary.

The lead me on line definitely resonated with me. After first date she sent a text. None after the second. I might offer to take her out again. The worse that can come of it is a no or no answer.

Thanks guys for the opinions.