"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Something I've noticed from reading these boards...

Forty0ztoFreedom

Senior Don Juan
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I know what the OP is saying. What bothers me is the frame of "Here's how you would get the girl if you were a DJ"/"Here's how you would act if you were at the point you should be at" type of advice. With that you have needy people stressing about not contacting and whether they should send a text if she hasn't sent 2 of her own yet, or wondering if they're coming off needy, and high/low how their value is . .

When I have ever been needy and had oneitus, NOTHING helps in the end. No trick, tip, strategy, neg, dodged text, NOTHING. Because the underlying issue is still there, twisting and deforming anything you do. Hell, I just have to cut contact until my head is clear before I think of any future progress with a girl I've become needy for. I need to get back to being myself before I can even think of what to do/say.

It seems this stuff requires deep level change. So I wonder if beginners wouldn't be better off getting advice on how to personally grow DESPITE the inevitable rejection, rather than getting band-aids to assist in getting some ideal future where they are successful with the oneitus. Maybe its good to fvck it up now and then, and learn from the experience, instead of role-playing 'DJ' and eventually "NEXTING for bad behavior."

That said, you can't blame the forum for this. Its more the fault of the people asking the questions. And hey, maybe its a necessary part of the growth.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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