We tend to explain a lot here on the forum. Breaking things down into small understable chunks so the next man can learn from them. This works well in a teaching setting. But one of the things I have noticed in the real world is this.
Explaining = beta.
Who explains on demand? Teachers. Employees. Subordinates.
I was talking to a potential client last night and he kept trying to get me to explain everything about my business. I gave perfunctory answers, but no details. Later in the conversation the guy tells me how he was trying to get some work done, and figured out how to do it himself. I realized he was trying to do the same with me. It got me thinking.
My partner has an young employee who hates having to explain himself. Especially when he screws up. The kid was b1tching to me about it early this week. I told him like this. You are not the boss. You are not responsible for anything. You only have one thing to do and if you do it wrong you need to explain why, because when you mess up it costs the boss time and money. You don't own this place you work here. Stop complaining.
Even on sales calls, you do two things. You show what you can do, you show how it can benefit them. What you don't do is explain exactly how the sausage is made if you have some special way of making sausage. You might give a brief overview, but you don't explain it all.
So...getting around to women. Do you spend time explaining everything to them? Are you didactic with women? Or do you present them with who you are and show the benefit of being with you?
Example. Friday night when we went out. I texted a female friend of mine. I told her to come have fun. She wanted to know where we were going, what we were doing, who was going to be there, how late we were staying out...my response, 'Stop being nerd and come have fun, meet me at X'. She came out and had fun for a while before she had to bail.
I'm not explaining myself to anyone. I'm selling me and my results. Women are not my boss. Explaining kills all the mystery. It kills all of the fun. And with clients it can kill the profits, because once they know how it's done, they might not value it enough to actually pay for it.
Explaining = beta.
Who explains on demand? Teachers. Employees. Subordinates.
I was talking to a potential client last night and he kept trying to get me to explain everything about my business. I gave perfunctory answers, but no details. Later in the conversation the guy tells me how he was trying to get some work done, and figured out how to do it himself. I realized he was trying to do the same with me. It got me thinking.
My partner has an young employee who hates having to explain himself. Especially when he screws up. The kid was b1tching to me about it early this week. I told him like this. You are not the boss. You are not responsible for anything. You only have one thing to do and if you do it wrong you need to explain why, because when you mess up it costs the boss time and money. You don't own this place you work here. Stop complaining.
Even on sales calls, you do two things. You show what you can do, you show how it can benefit them. What you don't do is explain exactly how the sausage is made if you have some special way of making sausage. You might give a brief overview, but you don't explain it all.
So...getting around to women. Do you spend time explaining everything to them? Are you didactic with women? Or do you present them with who you are and show the benefit of being with you?
Example. Friday night when we went out. I texted a female friend of mine. I told her to come have fun. She wanted to know where we were going, what we were doing, who was going to be there, how late we were staying out...my response, 'Stop being nerd and come have fun, meet me at X'. She came out and had fun for a while before she had to bail.
I'm not explaining myself to anyone. I'm selling me and my results. Women are not my boss. Explaining kills all the mystery. It kills all of the fun. And with clients it can kill the profits, because once they know how it's done, they might not value it enough to actually pay for it.
