Something I noticed about social value

[naoi deag se deag]

This a pretty fundamental thing, I think, but it's a good illustration of all the social forces that drive attraction in both men and women.

I'm seeing this girl right now, a 6' HB8 with an awesomely tight body. She's pretty flat, which is a definite minus in my book (to me, girls need at least a full B to get over an 8). However, many (most?) other guys don't seem to have a problem with this, as evidenced by all the stares and slow-driving, rubber-necking and general lewdness of men on the street. She gets hit on in front of me all the time and generally flirts back. The fact that I love this is something I take as evidence that I've come a long way since finding this site. I get indirect validation from guys being all over her and it's actually a lot more fun to have her on my arm after leaving one of those situations. She just seems a lot hotter to me when other guys are around, and I perceive her as more of a 9 than an 8.

Funny how what other people think can pump me up like that. Is this a sticking point I should work on - maybe I swung too hard from being jealous to being validated? Is that external validation going to help me or hurt me in the future? Anyone else experienced this?

 

[tmpgstx]

Well .. put it this way. If she is flirting back right in front of you then it will be a problem later.

 

[eoin2000]

She flirts back woth these guys because she wants to guage your reaction. She is also, subconsciously, letting you know that she is hot property and she knows it. She is trying to make you feel like 'if you put one foot wrong, i can have a replacement within the hour'.

I have experienced this. Several times, in fact. The first time, i got jealous. Big mistake, because i showed her a weakness. The second time, i acted like i didnt care. This was neither positive nor negative, as far as i could tell.

The third time, however, i started flirting with another women. BINGO. This let her know that I wouldnt take her crap, not for one second. Her reaction was immediate: she stopped talking to the guy and came up to me. She then put her arms around me and gave the girl a quick 'glance'....the other girl promptly disappeared.

 

[naoi deag se deag]

I'm not worried about this girl in particular. I know how to play the game well enough with her that I won't lose her, and I'm protecting myself enough that it won't hurt if I do. I was just wondering if it was a personal sticking point I should work on. Is it wrong to be externally validated by walking around with hot chicks?

Hey Eoin, where in Ireland are you from?

 

[eoin2000]

Its not wrong at all, really. Its quite natural to feel even more interested in something if other people do. Im from Dublin, by the by.