Someone please pound this into my head

[ENIGMA16]

SS community, please answer this question for me:

What do you do when a girl starts to lose interest, doesn't respond to your texts right away or at all, puts off setting up a date?

I need this pounded into my head, please.

 

[nightcrawler]

she probly thinks you're boring .

I suggest staying quiet and not contacting her for a few weeks.

 

[loveorlust]

SS community, please answer this question for me:

What do you do when a girl starts to lose interest, doesn't respond to your texts right away or at all, puts off setting up a date?

I need this pounded into my head, please.

Don't do anything. For a while. Give it a week or two. If she doesn't respond after that, put her in the basket of other girls who missed out on an amazing opportunity to get @#$% like they've never been f@#$% before.. or whatever it is you have to offer.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Judge her based on interest level, not on her personality, looks, or anything else, especially how much you like her. ONLY ON INTEREST LEVEL. This helps you avoid becoming emotionally attached. If her interest level is low you do nothing. You don't email her, you don't call her, you don't text her, and most important of all, you don't think about her. If you do not take to heart what I just wrote you will wind up in the situation in which I'm pretty sure I'm about to find myself, and it sucks.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Easy question my friend

You go for other girls who are interested!

 

[bigneil]

Judge her based on interest level, not on her personality, looks, or anything else, especially how much you like her. ONLY ON INTEREST LEVEL. This helps you avoid becoming emotionally attached. If her interest level is low you do nothing. You don't email her, you don't call her, you don't text her, and most important of all, you don't think about her.

Agreed. But even if she does have high interest, your becoming emotionally attached will almost certainly lower it.

 

[MisterD]

no contact for a few weeks, when you come back, if she's still low interest, walk away.

the old you can't fire me because i quit attitude

 

[SoSuave666]

I find it very important to not be vested in women who are not interested in you. So, for example, if she has low interest, it is OK to keep trying for the miracle, but not if it's raising your interest level. I have plenty of girls who are just "meh" girls that I find myself texting more than I probably should but I don't care about the outcome. Granted, you are asking for advice on a website, so I'll assume that this girl means a little more to you than an fbuddy.

If she has low interest, there is really nothing else you can do other than leave her be. Stay away. It's not some magic pill that will get her interested in you again. It's showing her your ability to walk away. You can come back later and try and re-enter her life after a while. Right now, take a step back and f%^* other chicks. It has been my experience that NO woman is worth more than a bone. As men we have a tendency to build things up in the future. You can never live up to your own expectations. In business, that's a good thing. In relationships: pretty bad.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Thanks guys, this is exactly what I was looking for. Sometimes I even know this but need someone to tell it to me so I don't act like an idiot.

Background for my specific situation: Met a girl on OKC in January, we hit it off really well (insanely well). Saw her for about 3 months, essentially dating but never made it monogamous. She gave me the ole ultimatum because I foolishly let her suck me into "the talk" at which point I told her she was being selfish and disrespectful and cut it off. A month later I reestablished contact and we've been seeing each other for about another month after that. Interest level was really high up until last Sunday, then she sort of cut it all off. I tried setting something up once or twice but to no avail.

She moved this weekend, but it still isn't right. I have no idea what happened between last weekend and now that caused her interest level to plummet, but that's irrelevant, amirite?

Anyways, super into this girl, she's definitely long term material, so I'm trying to play it safe. I'll stay distant for a while and see what happens.

BTW we should sticky this thread because the answers in it apply to pretty much every single thread that anyone posts in this forum haha.

 

[handle]

Do the reasonable thing: if she's not invested in it, why should you be? Meet/hang out with other girls that show an interest. It's pretty straight forward. And I don't want you to think of it as a "being alpha" or "pickup" mindset; think of it from a perspective of being an everyday human being -- why bother putting in your time, energy, thoughts, etc when it isn't reciprocal? This is just healthy common sense, not a "strategy."

As for your specific situation, it doesn't matter so I didn't even read it when you did the whole "but here's my particular story" thing. The advice is always the same for these scenarios. That may come across harsh but it's true.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Oh I know that for sure, but it's one thing to know something and another entirely to actually live by it. When I said "stay distant" that is exactly what I meant.

We'll see how it goes.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Judge her based on interest level, not on her personality, looks, or anything else, especially how much you like her. ONLY ON INTEREST LEVEL. This helps you avoid becoming emotionally attached. If her interest level is low you do nothing. You don't email her, you don't call her, you don't text her, and most important of all, you don't think about her. If you do not take to heart what I just wrote you will wind up in the situation in which I'm pretty sure I'm about to find myself, and it sucks.

Well said, this simple concept can save us from lot of headaches.

 

[SgtSplacker]

When I feel interest is failing (and I care), I use the last couple unawkward communications to majorly DHV. Some kind of tickets, or cool azz activity or something she would love...

 

[zorg198]

When I feel interest is failing (and I care), I use the last couple unawkward communications to majorly DHV. Some kind of tickets, or cool azz activity or something she would love...

Can you please eleborate , you use some phrases which i don't understand...

 

[bigneil]

There is a way. You must physically improve to the point where she notices immediately, and she must have been attracted to you to begin with. This takes months though.

 

[sighsigh]

Textbook question.

You do whatever raises her perception of your worth. The easiest way to accomplish this is to go no contact. You can do other things too, like have her see you hanging out with hot girls (or put photos of this on FB).

 

[SgtSplacker]

DHV means to demonstrate higher value. You do this by being cooler than her basically. Buy some tickets to a concert both of you might like, or plan to attend some cool event both of you like, maybe schedule some volunteer work and let her know you are going. The more physical the event the better. Just don't make it obvious that this is all about her, it's about you and you wanting to do make yourself a better person. When you talk to her about it don't immediately invite her in on it. Mention it one day and maybe ask her another day.

The reason being is that if she attends something physical with you there is a feeling of accomplishment that comes with it. Particularly the volunteer work, you feel good after and accomplished. These good feelings transfer over to your relationship with her. She will begin to associate you with that good feeling thus making your relationship stronger.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Hey guys I really appreciate all the responses in this thread. I'm just realizing now how hard this is hitting me because I haven't felt like this about a girl in forever. I've been single since 2008 and playing the field like a dj and haven't experienced this before. Whenever I feel the need to contact her I just read this thread and know what I gotta do. I'll keep fighting my instincts on this one.

Thanks guys!

 

[ENIGMA16]

The girl in question commented on a FB status of mine last night after work. I didn't respond. Some other girl that I'm friends with liked a status that I wrote afterwards, to which I responded saying I miss her and am hyped for her to be back in town in two weeks and that I'll "text her ass" to "grab a drink". She'll probably see it, IDK.

Fvck I really wanna text her tho, I hate this ****.

Staying strong though brothers!

 

[JPlaya]

lol oneitis alert. It's worth it man. After my oneitis in high school cancelled are date and gave a bs excuse when I offered to reschedule, I no contacted her for like 4 months. I asked her out and she was all over it. Too bad I ffddd that up