"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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.. someone help me understand this

THE_ADDMAN

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I was reading those "most obvious come-on missed"

so someone explain this to me... if a girl asks for a ride home, shes interested?
and if you cant, then you are "rejecting" her, hurting her beyond anything else, and she loses any and all interest?

they have to give out some of the stupidest "signals" ever.

or if she is talking about gross things she did with her other boyfriends (which is kind of a turn-off for me). I'm supposed to get all hot and bothered and just wanna jump her?

the smarter ones are just blatantly sexual "I got a tongue ring, I havent tried it out yet"

yet, if you tried the same thing, you're labeled a pervert, a player and 50 other unholy things.

alot of these signals seem to be things that girls normally do, so what if you're bold but end up misinterpreting a signal and thinking she likes you when she doesnt? then you're in trouble yet again.

ughh someone help me out here, my eyes have gone all wonky *is confused* :crazy:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Desdinova

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so someone explain this to me... if a girl asks for a ride home, shes interested?
All the answers to these questions are... MAYBE.

alot of these signals seem to be things that girls normally do, so what if you're bold but end up misinterpreting a signal and thinking she likes you when she doesnt? then you're in trouble yet again.
Don't bother even looking for the IOIs. Shezz just did a really good post in "Tips" about assuming attraction:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=96902

Assume that she's already attracted to you. Go for the number everytime no matter if her pupils are dilated, if she flips her hair, if her fingernails are chewed, etc. The only way to find out 100% if she's interested is to do a number close. If she's not interested, she'll come up with some lame excuse to avoid giving you her number.
 

THE_ADDMAN

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yeah, I understand to assume attraction and control the frame.

I just needed to try and make sense of this, how they think these "signals" are supposed to show their interest, and how they think that just cuz we missed them, we're not interested and that their little world is falling apart.



thanks :)
 

THE_ADDMAN

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the "most obvious come-ons"?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=13316

not sure exactly where the posts I was referencing are, but somewhere in that thread.

like if a girl says "I wanna blow you" or something, and you think shes serious, so you go for it, then she says "I was just kidding", despite the fact that her tone and body language show that she wasnt kidding. NO ONE is that intuitive.

thats like equating her slapping a restraining order on you as "oh shes just playing hard to get"

sorry guys, had to vent a bit :D
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Desdinova

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It's just a discussion thread (and an interesting one). Realize that there's experienced Don Juans and (then) newbies that are responding to it.

Sometimes you can read a woman's IOIs and sometimes you can't. When you spend a lot of time successfully dating women, you'll be able to just tell by their body language, facial expressions, and behaviour that they're interested in you. Only experience can really teach that.

Don't take the thread too seriously. It's just discussion and not a tip.
 
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