Some thoughts on being an introvert

[Arky]

For most of my teen years I've been nerdy, skinny, shy, awkward and I spent most of my time at home in front of my computer.
Then I started to change, I'm still working hard in order to become a better person. Still, I feel that my childhood and adolescence have left a big mark on my personality: I'm an introvert.

Do you think I can change this? I'm overcoming my shyness, becoming confident and somewhat social, but I'm not an extrovert person. My natural attitude is to do my stuff and not interact much with others. I have fun when I'm with friends and everything, but sometimes I just need to stay alone. Sometimes I also go out on my own and have fun anyway (and it has many advantages: I can go wherever I want, and I can leave at any time).

Being an introvert can be sometimes a very bad thing. It takes a lot more time to make friends. At my gym there are some extrovert guys that get to know everyone in a few days, and everybody likes them and talks to them. I'm the quiet, confident guy that is working out, and most of the time I'm ignored by the other guys and girls. Sometimes it's hard to get their attention, when they're accustomed to me being there and not talking much. This sucks because I could be the greatest guy in the world, and a lot of people will never know this, because I can't (or don't really want to?) "sell" myself.

This obviously isn't helping with the ladies. I think that I could do well with a girl if I already know her reasonably well (for example with one of my girl friends, but I don't want to do it with them for various reasons, and most of them are in a LTR) but I have an hard time getting to know new girls. I'm trying, I'm doing some approaches, I will get better with time, but still I feel it's not my nature. An extrovert guy will know so much more persons in his life and so much more potential partners.

Can you be a guy like me and get a girl? Can I change and become the extroverted person who talks to everybody?

 

[Fortunate_Juan]

For most of my teen years I've been nerdy, skinny, shy, awkward and I spent most of my time at home in front of my computer.
Then I started to change, I'm still working hard in order to become a better person. Still, I feel that my childhood and adolescence have left a big mark on my personality: I'm an introvert.

Do you think I can change this? I'm overcoming my shyness, becoming confident and somewhat social, but I'm not an extrovert person. My natural attitude is to do my stuff and not interact much with others. I have fun when I'm with friends and everything, but sometimes I just need to stay alone. Sometimes I also go out on my own and have fun anyway (and it has many advantages: I can go wherever I want, and I can leave at any time).

Being an introvert can be sometimes a very bad thing. It takes a lot more time to make friends. At my gym there are some extrovert guys that get to know everyone in a few days, and everybody likes them and talks to them. I'm the quiet, confident guy that is working out, and most of the time I'm ignored by the other guys and girls. Sometimes it's hard to get their attention, when they're accustomed to me being there and not talking much. This sucks because I could be the greatest guy in the world, and a lot of people will never know this, because I can't (or don't really want to?) "sell" myself.

This obviously isn't helping with the ladies. I think that I could do well with a girl if I already know her reasonably well (for example with one of my girl friends, but I don't want to do it with them for various reasons, and most of them are in a LTR) but I have an hard time getting to know new girls. I'm trying, I'm doing some approaches, I will get better with time, but still I feel it's not my nature. An extrovert guy will know so much more persons in his life and so much more potential partners.

Can you be a guy like me and get a girl? Can I change and become the extroverted person who talks to everybody?

Yes. What it takes is small goals. Try and talk to a few new people a day. Old, men, women, kids, adults, hotties and the not so hotties. Regardless of your attraction to them. Definitely chat up the cuties, it may be your one and only chance to meet them.

I chat up more and more people every day. And I used to be introverted. It's just something that takes practice, once you get comfortable chatting to anyone about anything, your game should be solid.

 

[da_hunter]

It is possible.

I was as introverted, shy, insecure as they come. Until I started really working on myself. Last year I made a lot of friends and did more than 300 approaches, I don't consider myself shy anymore. I'm not the most extroverted guy around but I don't want to be. You gain confidence in yourself each time you attempt something that requires courage. Even if you fail. Good luck.

 

[wootapotky]

You can change on the outside but I doubt you'll change on the inside. You'll most likely always want your time alone. That's what being an introvert means. It means that you need time by yourself or else you start losing energy. Extroverts get energy by being around others. It's got nothing to do with how shy you are.

Personally, if I'm hanging out with people all the time and I'm acting extroverted for successive days in a row, maybe 3 or 4 days in a row, I start to need time by myself.

So to answer your question, yes introverts can become more social, but no you almost certainly can't turn into a natural attention wh*re like extroverts need to be.

There is such a thing as ambivert as well which is more the goal that I'm trying to get to.

But then a question you should ask yourself is do you really, truly want a bunch of meaningless friends? Or is it something that the media is telling you you should do? In many eastern countries introversion is more respected than extroversion. So really the popular opinion can really fog up what you really naturally want to do.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Can you be a guy like me and get a girl? Can I change and become the extroverted person who talks to everybody?

ABSOFVCKINLUTELY! :rockon: