Some recent observations...don't really get it

[Mr. Goods]

Over the past few days, I've noticed or observed a couple trends and a fluke occurrence that I can probably guess, but cannot explain for sure. I was hoping you guys could provide some perspective:

1.) Let's hang out! (but not really). This semester, there was a girl in one of my classes who I got along pretty well with. While I wouldn't consider her someone I'd pursue to date, she was fun to be around. We got to know each other a bit, all good. So, we get to the final week before graduation and our school organizes events for us to go to (we go to some tourist destinations in the area). For the one yesterday, her and I were both looking forward to it and that we'd "definitely hang out" there. Logically, I take her up on it. Shortly after we began the ride over, I texted her to say what's up (on different buses). Everything's fine, then I mention how we can meet up for a few at some point. No response. At the event, I run into her, talk for a sec, but that's it. Issue at hand: Girls say they want to hang out. When I take them up on it, they avoid it and nothing happens.

2.) I thought you weren't into me. A few months ago, I went on a couple dates with a girl I thought seemed interesting. Ultimately, it didn't work out, she lost interest. No big deal, I moved on. Very recently, whenever I run into her, she's all smiles and hugs and wants to talk to me about whatever topic is relevant. I try to keep this pretty short because I have other things I'd rather do that have a long conversation with a girl who turned me down. This has actually taken place with the last two girls I went on a date or two with before they supposedly lost interest. Issue at hand: I go on 1-2 dates with girl, she loses interest. I move on, but whenever they see me, they initiate the interaction, are all smiles, and I usually end the interaction. I thought they weren't into me?

3.) Getting lucky A few months ago, I was at a party and saw a cute HB9. My game wasn't the sharpest that night, but I spun some C+F and things went well enough that she gave me her number. However, she didn't pick up when I called, w/e. Again, no biggie; she seemed a little picky, we didn't have a lot in common. Last weekend, there's another party at the same place. I was there with a lot of people I knew, she was there too. One of the guys I know - who is a good guy that I know somewhat well - can be a little obnoxious when intoxicated, needs to be calmed down (when buzzed), and overall doesn't have much game with girls. He also looks like a very tall stick figure :crackup: . Lo and behold, I see him briefly hooking up with HB9! My buddy next to me had his jaw dropped and started laughing hysterically because he couldn't believe it. Soon after, I ask this guy what lines he dished out. He told me that the extent of the extremely brief conversation is how they both spent part of their lives living in the same state. Issue at hand: I don't know how this guy was briefly successful, but my guess is that everyone gets lucky.

While none of these occurrences are "big," I feel I can pick up something from them. Situation #1 is a little annoying because, even if things are going real well and the girl says she wants to hang out...why do they back down when I actually step up and offer something to do? Situation #2 I feel the girls just want attention. Why they're approaching me and being really nice, I have no idea, but that's my guess. Situation #3, as I said before, was more luck for my friend. It seems that I need "perfect game" or to do all the right things to get a girl (haven't been lucky at all lately), but this shows that anything can happen if you're lucky...right?

Any thoughts from you?

 

[xdreamz]

1.) Flaking...

flaking was my very first obstacle. The situation goes as this: you like this girl start thinking about her a lot and so you immediately get thrown with an idea of going on a date. you go up to her and it is friendly conversation and you think it's all good and you guys like each other so she should be ready for a date. she even tells you she'll call you at 8pm when you ask her what time (cuz ur a super busy guy)... the time comes and it's a no show.

my thoughts:
the reality of the situation is that you did not attract her enough, you did not seem very interesting, and could see you coming from a mile away. To counter this strategy that girls use called the.. what did you call it? the "let's hang out..*sike*" strategy.. you have to attract her (convey that you are the prize, make her like you) and you have to have a degree of mystery to what your intent is.

i'll write more later, i hope that helps.

 

[DonGorgon]

"The TEst Flake"

Many women will do a flake test to see how you respond.. if you get mad or act to upset over it then they label you as desperate or crazy and you are out.. the trick is to act neutral and cool and un effected by her BS.. dont ask her out again and do not refer at all to her BS from last time.but keep acting kool.. if she really likes you her IL will get even higher and then you can try something again..

Also women dont wana seem easy so often when they like you alot they will flake to throw you off so you wont get all the power..lol silly BS i know but that is what women love..

 

[Mr. Goods]

1.) Flaking...

flaking was my very first obstacle. The situation goes as this: you like this girl start thinking about her a lot and so you immediately get thrown with an idea of going on a date. you go up to her and it is friendly conversation and you think it's all good and you guys like each other so she should be ready for a date. she even tells you she'll call you at 8pm when you ask her what time (cuz ur a super busy guy)... the time comes and it's a no show.

my thoughts:
the reality of the situation is that you did not attract her enough, you did not seem very interesting, and could see you coming from a mile away. To counter this strategy that girls use called the.. what did you call it? the "let's hang out..*sike*" strategy.. you have to attract her (convey that you are the prize, make her like you) and you have to have a degree of mystery to what your intent is.

i'll write more later, i hope that helps.

In a lot of cases, you'd be right. However, I wasn't interested in dating this girl. She's cool, but trying to get with her is not in the plans (I'm not gaming her). However, maybe she thinks I'm trying to date her, which could explain this. If we get along, why no hanging out at this place at all..it's definitely not going to be a date and there's really nothing to it?

"The TEst Flake"

Many women will do a flake test to see how you respond.. if you get mad or act to upset over it then they label you as desperate or crazy and you are out.. the trick is to act neutral and cool and un effected by her BS.. dont ask her out again and do not refer at all to her BS from last time.but keep acting kool.. if she really likes you her IL will get even higher and then you can try something again..

Also women dont wana seem easy so often when they like you alot they will flake to throw you off so you wont get all the power..lol silly BS i know but that is what women love..

The test flake seems to be a necessary evil nowadays . In the situation I posted above, I was unaffected because...I'm not thinking about dating her. I don't have feelings for her at all. In general though, it seems these "flake tests" do come up...they're annoying, but I guess if you pass the test, you're in (sort of).

 

[Mr. Goods]

While #1 can be seen as flaking, this isn't a girl I'm interested in. Therefore, perhaps it's something else? How about cases 2 and 3? I feel in #2, the girls just want attention, while #3 is pure luck. Your thoughts?

 

[Kailex]

2.) I thought you weren't into me. A few months ago, I went on a couple dates with a girl I thought seemed interesting. Ultimately, it didn't work out, she lost interest. No big deal, I moved on. Very recently, whenever I run into her, she's all smiles and hugs and wants to talk to me about whatever topic is relevant. I try to keep this pretty short because I have other things I'd rather do that have a long conversation with a girl who turned me down. This has actually taken place with the last two girls I went on a date or two with before they supposedly lost interest. Issue at hand: I go on 1-2 dates with girl, she loses interest. I move on, but whenever they see me, they initiate the interaction, are all smiles, and I usually end the interaction. I thought they weren't into me?

They're not into you. They just are seeking validation that even after a few weeks/months that they can still string you along. If they lose interest after 1 or 2 dates, then you definitely don't want to feed into their egos. Of course, they'll be all smiles and hugs... until you ask them out or try any sexual advances. Then they'll play it off by saying that they want to LBJF you. In the end, they'll seem like the innocent ones and you'll come off as feeling rejected... twice.

Don't play into it.

3.) Getting lucky A few months ago, I was at a party and saw a cute HB9. My game wasn't the sharpest that night, but I spun some C+F and things went well enough that she gave me her number. However, she didn't pick up when I called, w/e. Again, no biggie; she seemed a little picky, we didn't have a lot in common. Last weekend, there's another party at the same place. I was there with a lot of people I knew, she was there too. One of the guys I know - who is a good guy that I know somewhat well - can be a little obnoxious when intoxicated, needs to be calmed down (when buzzed), and overall doesn't have much game with girls. He also looks like a very tall stick figure :crackup: . Lo and behold, I see him briefly hooking up with HB9! My buddy next to me had his jaw dropped and started laughing hysterically because he couldn't believe it. Soon after, I ask this guy what lines he dished out. He told me that the extent of the extremely brief conversation is how they both spent part of their lives living in the same state. Issue at hand: I don't know how this guy was briefly successful, but my guess is that everyone gets lucky.

You THINK he was "lucky" but in reality, it could be that this girl likes guys like him. And maybe it wasn't just WHAT he was saying, but HOW he was saying it. Just because to you he was a "tall stick figure", it doesn't automatically mean that he'll have less game than you do. Obviously he was doing "something" right, but then again, you saw them hooking up, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she's going to go out with him again some other time. So again, you can't read too much into a situation that was brief and that you really weren't a part of.

While none of these occurrences are "big," I feel I can pick up something from them. Situation #1 is a little annoying because, even if things are going real well and the girl says she wants to hang out...why do they back down when I actually step up and offer something to do?

Women can't say NO when it comes to turning down someone for a date. First of all, it feeds their ego to know that someone out there is interested. Second, they accept just in the OFF chance that they have NO other plans. If that happens, it's an uphill battle and you don't even know it. Third, they only let down men easily, and flaking is their defense mechanism for doing so. It's hard as a man to defuse the situation because even if they are lying, if you try to call them out on it, they'll switch the situation on you to make you seem like you're in the wrong, and not them.

 

[Mr. Goods]

They're not into you. They just are seeking validation that even after a few weeks/months that they can still string you along. If they lose interest after 1 or 2 dates, then you definitely don't want to feed into their egos. Of course, they'll be all smiles and hugs... until you ask them out or try any sexual advances. Then they'll play it off by saying that they want to LBJF you. In the end, they'll seem like the innocent ones and you'll come off as feeling rejected... twice.

Don't play into it.





You THINK he was "lucky" but in reality, it could be that this girl likes guys like him. And maybe it wasn't just WHAT he was saying, but HOW he was saying it. Just because to you he was a "tall stick figure", it doesn't automatically mean that he'll have less game than you do. Obviously he was doing "something" right, but then again, you saw them hooking up, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she's going to go out with him again some other time. So again, you can't read too much into a situation that was brief and that you really weren't a part of.



Women can't say NO when it comes to turning down someone for a date. First of all, it feeds their ego to know that someone out there is interested. Second, they accept just in the OFF chance that they have NO other plans. If that happens, it's an uphill battle and you don't even know it. Third, they only let down men easily, and flaking is their defense mechanism for doing so. It's hard as a man to defuse the situation because even if they are lying, if you try to call them out on it, they'll switch the situation on you to make you seem like you're in the wrong, and not them.

Thanks Kailex.

#2 - As I figured. I really don't give them much attention at all. I'll be civil when they come up to me, but I don't plan on actually doing anything that requires effort. Definitely not asking them out; they missed their chance. :yes:

#3 - Trust me, he doesn't have much game. I know him pretty well, how he is saying things won't help him with the ladies. According to my friend, he thinks the guy just lunged at her and it took her a second to get away. So if that's the case, then it's not as much luck as it is forcing it.

 

[Zarky]

Guys, you will have a success rate of around 10% if you're GOOD. This is why you need to have tons and tons of chicks in your book. The more the better.

For men, quantity leads to quality.

If a chick flakes on the first date you shouldn't care because you have another chick lined up later that week. You simply delete her number. If you write long posts trying to analyze sh!t behavior you're going to be spending a lot of time doing so.

Date more women. This will solve 95% of your problems.

 

[Joe Stud]

Kailex: I know you & I have had a disagreement. But I gotta say your advice is right on. You are definitely helping our young DJ's.

And... I'm man enough to say it publicly. + rep my friend.