Some Questions

[reset]

At some point this will come up for me, and now I know exactly how to respond to this type of jealousy shyt-test.

 

[Purple-Haze]

At some point this will come up for me, and now I know exactly how to respond to this type of jealousy shyt-test.

What do you mean?

Also, I'm curious as to why you see it as a "jealousy" test.

 

[reset]

It's designed to make him insecure and vulnerable. I don't know if there's another word for it.

 

[Purple-Haze]

It's designed to make him insecure and vulnerable. I don't know if there's another word for it.

No, it wasn't.

My bf isn't the insecure type. I know this. It would be a waste of my time to play a game where I try to get him to the point of insecurity. Why play a game when the objective is impossible to obtain?

I refer you to Interceptor's response (much earlier on). He perfectly stated my motivations for asking the question.

 

[reset]

You brought up the topic, of sleeping with other men. Doesn't matter what you intended, at the most basic level, now he knows that the concept of sleeping with other men is on your mind. Him getting upset may have made you feel a litte more assured of how he felt, but from a guy's perspctive, you kicked him in the nuts and he's probably not too happy about it. Probably enough to reconsider his relationship with you.

 

[Purple-Haze]

You brought up the topic, of sleeping with other men. Doesn't matter what you intended, at the most basic level, now he knows that the concept of sleeping with other men is on your mind. Him getting upset may have made you feel a litte more assured of how he felt, but from a guy's perspctive, you kicked him in the nuts and he's probably not too happy about it. Probably enough to reconsider his relationship with you.

That's the thing, it wasn't a general "let's talk about having sex with other people" kind of conversation. It was related to a specific incident, which I admit I took advantage of to get him to proclaim his masculinity (his "protective" caveman nature). We've since established that this did not work.

I seriously doubt he has given this incident as much thought as I have. He has moved on from it - he told me what he thought, I didn't like his response, but now I've accepted it.

 

[reset]

That's fine, I'm just giving you my perspective as a man. If I heard that, like him, I would be wise not to react and play into your games.

It was what it was, you were talking about sleeping with another man. Man told you he wanted to screw, you told bf, you were talking about sleeping with another man. That was the topic of the conversation---you letting him know, that at that moment, the concept of sleeping with another man, was on your mind. And you expressed to him just that. You wanted to talk to him about sleeping with another man. Pretty simple.

 

[Purple-Haze]

That's fine, I'm just giving you my perspective as a man. If I heard that, like him, I would be wise not to react and play into your games.

It was what it was, you were talking about sleeping with another man. Man told you he wanted to screw, you told bf, you were talking about sleeping with another man. That was the topic of the conversation---you letting him know, that at that moment, the concept of sleeping with another man, was on your mind. And you expressed to him just that. You wanted to talk to him about sleeping with another man. Pretty simple.

I agree with your first sentence. If the tables were turned, I probably would not react to repeated games either.

If something like this were to get to him, that would reveal his insecurity more than anything else, right? If he were secure in his manhood and wasn't threatened, he has no reason to get upset.

Bear it mind that this was about a GAY friend of mine. If he sensed that I was actually considering the idea, then of course, he has every right to drop me like it's hot.

From what I've gathered, his philosophy is this: you are with me, not them. He behaves accordingly. While this sentiment of his has made him to be a very attractive mate, it has also made me question his willingness to mark his territory at times (as I've said).

Unless he perceives a real threat, he won't react. Even then, I suspect he'd show me the door if I entertained the idea of another man.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

You want him to mark his territory? Ask him to give you a hickey.

 

[Purple-Haze]

You want him to mark his territory? Ask him to give you a hickey.

The more I think about it, the more of a nut I seem.

But really, the caveman mentality (to an extent) coupled with the use of the blessings of modern life (i.e. running water, toothpaste, floss) = a very sexy man.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Amish, eh? Sorry to disappoiint but I do not sport a bonnet.

And yes, I am a very good cook. In fact, I even nag and b1tch while cooking. It drives men wild.

That's too bad because bonnet's are SO sexy.

 

[Purple-Haze]

That's too bad because bonnet's are SO sexy.

They are about as sexy as a grown man wearing a diaper.

 

[reset]

If something like this were to get to him, that would reveal his insecurity more than anything else, right? If he were secure in his manhood and wasn't threatened, he has no reason to get upset.

"Hey purple haze, this girl I'm friends with told me she wanted to fvck. How do you feel about that? Would that be a problem with you? I'm not gonna do it or anything, but does that bother you? Now you know I probably won't, so me saying this is no cause for you to get upset. Just curious what you thought about me maybe banging another girl."

I'd be upset that you'd bring it up in the first place. You tried to get a reaction out of him by doing something pretty low, in my opinion. Isn't that enough to at least be turned off by, if not upset? Do you honestly think that's the type of thing that he would BENEFIT from?

 

[Purple-Haze]

"Hey purple haze, this girl I'm friends with told me she wanted to fvck. How do you feel about that? Would that be a problem with you? I'm not gonna do it or anything, but does that bother you?"

Come on.

You may not believe me, but I'd be flattered. Really. If he were to tell me that and I knew he wasn't interested in reciprocating the sentiment, I'd be pretty darn flattered.

EDIT: This has happened in the past. I have a friend who drools over him all the time. She has told me many times that she would sleep with him. I don't take her seriously of course. But knowing that she wants what I have doesn't make me the least jealous.

 

[ketostix]

Really. If he were to tell me that and I knew he wasn't interested in reciprocating the sentiment, I'd be pretty darn flattered.

I'm not so sure that you would know he wasn't interested in reciprocating her statement though based on all your security.

EDIT: This has happened in the past. I have a friend who drools over him all the time. She has told me many times that she would sleep with him. I don't take her seriously of course. But knowing that she wants what I have doesn't make me the least jealous.

This just proves another DJ principle that girls what a man desired by other women. Thi is the very reason why your female friend said this in the first place, because you like him. However, YOUR friend told you this. Big difference from if a female friend of his said that to him and not you.

 

[reset]

Well I can only give you a guy's opinion. As soon as I hear you say something like that I'd think "Well hearing my girlfriend talk about sleeping with other men isn't really what I'm after. I'd rather be with a girl who didn't want to make me jealous."

 

[Purple-Haze]

I'm not so sure that you would know he wasn't interested in reciprocating her statement though based on all your security.



This just proves another DJ principle that girls what a man desired by other women. Thi is the very reason why your female friend said this in the first place, because you like him. However, YOUR friend told you this. Big difference from if a female friend of his said that to him and not you.

Well, based on how we interact with each other, we would tell the other if something else came along. There is no point in deluding ourselves that temptations don't arise.

And of course it's nice to know that your man is desired by other women. I would think that most women would agree with me.

Yes, OK... Perhaps her being my friend matters. I can give you other examples. He has had his female friends make certain comments that suggest they are interested. It honestly doesn't bother me.

 

[Purple-Haze]

Well I can only give you a guy's opinion. As soon as I hear you say something like that I'd think "Well hearing my girlfriend talk about sleeping with other men isn't really what I'm after. I'd rather be with a girl who didn't want to make me jealous."

The point is, I wasn't trying to make him jealous.

But I agree that such questions are an exercise in futility.

 

[reset]

This is how guys perceive situations like this. Doesn't really matter what you THINK it should be perceived as, that's how it comes off. So maybe in the future, don't go that route.

 

[ketostix]

Well, based on how we interact with each other, we would tell the other if something else came along. There is no point in deluding ourselves that temptations don't arise.

And of course it's nice to know that your man is desired by other women. I would think that most women would agree with me.

Yes, OK... Perhaps her being my friend matters. I can give you other examples. He has had his female friends make certain comments that suggest they are interested. It honestly doesn't bother me.

Well if that's truely the case, then what's making you so insecure in this relationship that you are resorting to tests? Just force of habit?