some pointers.?

[andyellas]

SO I asked a girl a question about her facebook status. Kind of lame, but I was curious. We've known eachother since high school. Ive tried to date her tons of times, shes always real receptive until things start going well, then she turns cold. Its routine now, so it almost doesnt bother me. She really isnt ur normal girl. Shes not emotional AT ALL. Only times shes been emotional is when we make out, then shes totally amazing. But i find myself emotionally holding back even then, because im so used it turning sour. Anyways. She doesnt text back for 3 or so hours. (Usually shes on the ball). I do what I would do if any on of my friends took that long. I typed: "or not". She calls back saying that she knows I meant it in a caring way and that its really not necessary to text her that many times. Im thinking. WOW... It was twice. all day. (and I said something to this extent):

"Umm, actually I was just curious about what ur status meant. Don't go reading too deep into my texts, its has nothing to do with me caring. I would have done the same to any one of my friends. I promise, I was really just curious."

Shes responds something like... "ok well, ima go back to bed."

Me: "k-bye".


She texts me thirty minutes later... Actual transcript below.

Her (10:18): sorry for not remembering that im just another person. Sorry for not being normal & not liking the "i didnt get a response so im gonna send this text" text.

Me (10:21): Dude. chill. don't be sorry. you've got a ways to go before I start thinking of you as my girl. So don't freak out.

(her facebook status changes to "extremely annoyed... whats new"

Me (10:56) blah. Neways, im sleepy so im out. sleep tight.

Her (10:57) was that a good blah or a bad blah.

Me (10:59) What? It was just a blah. Theres nothing to read into, sorry.

Me (11:00) Let's call it indifferent.

Her (11:00) Okay. Nighty Night.

Her (11:05) indifferent it is. Guess im feeling that way too.

Me (11:07) yay. Aight for real im crashin.

Her (11:09) okay. im gonna call you tomorrow cuz i think we are both misunderstanding each other about everything. good night.

Me (11:12) Umm ok? night.

Her (11:14) see there... more misunderstanding. Insert indifferent 'blah'. sleep well...

And then I fall asleep right after i type this to you. I would love to date her. But I think shes crazy. But it seems the only way to get a response out of her is to not give a sh*t. But if you don't give a sh*t, then u don't enjoy ur partner. Arent we supposed to get wrapped up in someone once they open up? Crazy b*tch. Shed be perfect. oh yeah. july fourth, we were all but screwing. she says " i don't know why im afraid to be with you". I don't remember what I said. Probably somehting like "me either". I kept pretty well closed up, but i totally owned her that night. Wed have made love if I had a condom. What can I say, I did what you guys said (masculinity, men taking what they want, showing confidence, taking charge), and it worked. Shes burned me every time ive opened up, so Ive learned to ice out my feelings. Problem is, it doesnt help the "us". Almost like she want's me as long as she can't have me. total catch22. total suckage. words?

 

[AKA FLEX]

Ummmm, wow. Sounds like you both are over-analyzing everything way too much. You say you've known each other "since high school." Are you sure you're not still IN high school? That text exchange was painful to read.

When you talk to her tomorrow, it's time to s--- or get off the pot. Tell her you're tired of the mind games (which you're both guilty of) and that you want to hook up, and she can take it or leave it. If she takes it, great, you get laid. If she leaves it, good riddance to her.

 

[Five To One]

Her (11:09) okay. im gonna call you tomorrow cuz i think we are both misunderstanding each other about everything. good night.

Me (11:12) Umm ok? night.

Her (11:14) see there... more misunderstanding. Insert indifferent 'blah'. sleep well...

im gonna call you tomorrow cuz i think we are both misunderstanding each other about everything. good night

That part there is really key. It means she wants things to work out. She sounds really insecure because she is afraid to be emotionally involved, or at least act like it, even though you two have made out and other intimate things which should tell her you like her.

Its time to make it more obvious you like her and stop acting so indifferent toward her and see how she reacts. My guess is she will open up to you.

If this crazy sh!t doesnt stop then just drop the whole thing.

 

[Scars]

This girl has you on a string. Stop being so damn needy or next her.

 

[Five To One]

This girl has you on a string. Stop being so damn needy or next her.

That was my first thought too.

but after reading more the post I can tell she has just as much control over this relationship as he does. Which is very little

 

[laskoe]

Yo listen, after you said : Me (10:56) blah. Neways, im sleepy so im out. sleep tight.

you shouldn't have responded to anything else!!!!
she only texted u back to see if she could have your attention, and you you fell for it , ureplied back, and then she confused you :
(
HER: okay. im gonna call you tomorrow cuz i think we are both misunderstanding each other about everything. good night. )

she made it seem like she cared for things to be better... she really didn't care... and she only lets u think that you misunderstood her status.... but it is what it is.....


and remember women may sleep with you when they want... and other times be disinterested ..... so the past tense doesn't matter as much as what a women feels for you right now by your actions.....

she will be shocked when you move on......she has to eventually move on too... your probably not going to marry her.. but now its time to have fun learning about the female nature what you can do to create attraction,

do what you feel like doing..
be a man, one that respects his own intelligence!! she is making things blurry, deep down she may like that you r a nice guy overall, which is good but in some areas you must give her the deep feeling of attraction to you as a man......cus right now she dont respect you as a man at all.. your her personal wuss boy.....

ask your self what are you missing in life that you can't stand in your own shoes and show her the door...i do understand that it takes away from the "us FEELING" when you dont give of your self to her..but.. a woman will be attracted to you...ther is no us in you !!! she doesnt want no female.... she wants a guy that is working to complete his own life , hes is building him.. and maybe their is a place for that special some one to share some of that life with. ...but she isn't to be all of that life or even half.... she is just another candidate for that space!!!....IDK how old you are but keep working on you ...you never loose girls by being who you have to be to reach your full potential in life... some girls disqualify themselves from your life....and some women be looking for you......

how much of your time and energy does she honestly deserve...reward her with your time when she shows you she deserves it...other than that your a man that has other things to do ...a lot.


bless you, god loves you,seek him and your life will overflow love and joy!

 

[Cashew]

after you say "i'm out" you should stick to that and don't reply back again. You've said bye at this point, so leave. Just because she texts you doesn't mean you need to reply back instantly, or even at all.

 

[andyellas]

yeah ur right. can't believe i dropped the ball on that one. Normally Im real good at it. Anyways, about showing her that shes not my priority, i really think she knows that. I actually think she likes me more for my job than a potential mate. I think shes in love with the life i could give her, but shes too scared to do all the in between stuff to get there.. I have my dream job, ****s in order, and lifes kickin ass. Im meeting new folks thanks to u guys, and i get better every time. Don't know why I keep giving this one a way back in. Ive got a real issue with givin up on something I want (thats why i got most of what i want in my life), hence, its tough for me to just move past this one. some more background. We dated senior highschool summer (maybe three months, unofficially). She broke up with me freshman year in college, because I said the word "hell". Yeah.. Wont go there. I went out good though, she knows shes an idiot for that. We went our separate ways. dated otehr folks. I had a great relationship. She had a ****ty one. So now, five years later, we're both single, she hates dudes, and keeps playing the victim role. I dont really aknowledge her for it, everyone gets hurt, get over urself. Anyways, ur right about the mind games being gay. We're both guilty of it, but I only becuase its the only way she responds. I really thinks she gets off on this ****. Problem is we go months without talking (when both of us play "indifferent", we forget about eachother), then one of us will start somethign back up, well have a crazy hot couple of weeks and then she goes nuts again. Im not really in a good position to have a gf, so i guess ill jsut have to play that card. I got no probs with long distance relations, thats why im ok persuing something now, and neither does she, hence I still give in, but yeah... Im gona have to call her on on the mind games I guess. I just want it to come across in a way where she still questions if im interested. tahts tough to do. push em too far away and they get cold, bring em too close and they burn you.