"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Some Perspective on This Coming Monday

R

Rubato

Guest
Classes resume at my university on Mon. and I will be having a very small class with an ex oneitis I've been no contacting since the beginning of Dec. We dated about 2 months and towards the end, she became terribly disrespectful with my time. Making plans became a chore and it was obvious she wasn't interested enough to make it worth my while. And so I just disappeared. She's been sent me text messages periodically and with the beginning of school coming closer, her texting and even now Facebooking is increasing in periodicity. I think she may realize she screwed up and is also in an attention slump at the moment and needs a refill. I don't want to give it to her.

And that's what I'm worried about on Mon. I've made a lot of progress, but there's still anger/frustration/hurt from everything that happened that I don't want to convey. She asked me about my class schedule last term and made it a point to sign up for at least one class with me and it's going to be the 2 of us and 7 other people. I am almost positive she's going to ask me wtf happened to me/us. I haven't been sitting and stewing about this, but I do want to consider what the best way to handle this convo would be so as not to convey any of the negative things I amy be feeling while at the same time, not obsfucating my true feelings/intentions because of her unacceptable behavior. She's just about come out and asked me what's going on as it is, so if she were to ask me right now, I'd probably say something like

"I had romantic feelings for you before, but I realize that was a mistake"

I've disqualified this girl as a potential girlfriend so all I would want from her is sex. I feel like given what's happened, letting her know I was interested but see that as a mistake will make her feel highly insecure if I can properly convey I've moved on and am congruent with what I say. I don't want to totally burn the bridge either though and not get any sex.

What would you guys do here?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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L

Leopold

Don Juan
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Rubarto.. my man... dont over think this much...

"I had romantic feelings for you before, but I realize that was a mistake"
URGHHH!! MANN X__X Dont do this!!! Sounds VERY AFC like...

Remember... you NEVER EVER EVVERRR tell a woman how you feel... you show her with your actions.

When you see her... Just act happy to see her and whatnots. "good to see you again ^^"

If she brings it up.. just say.. "things came up... we can still hang out when i have some time".. and WAMM that's it.. You DONT own her any detailed explanations.

Just dont act weird nor bring it up anymore. Like it never happened.. what were we talking about? (I think you get the point)

Also.. just cause she's gonna be there with the small pool of classmates dont cling to her all the time. Try to socialize and make new bonds with new classmates. Dont try to include her on EVERYTHING you do. She has to earn the attention.

Otherwise chances are that she'll see you more as her "class buddy aka Tampon"
 
S

Serg897

Master Don Juan
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Be strong man. Listen to the above advice, just talk to her like an old friend with mild interest. This is how Im going to handle my ex oneitis when I do see her. Dont tell her anything about how feel. Dont try to make any more dates. Its done. I commend you for sticking to your resolve even though she has made attempts to contact you.
 
R

Rubato

Guest
Thanks for the advice guys. That's good stuff.

Though, I don't think I need to worry about being too clingy... if I'm uncalibrated, it will be because I'm acting too standoffish. This girl caused me an embarassing amount of heartache and I haven't forgotten what that felt like.

I guess I really shouldn't worry about it much though or think spend time thinking about it. Like Serg said, it's done. And if I act out of that, I don't think I'll do anything wrong. And always, trust the gut.
 
A

Aaron B

Master Don Juan
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the main thing is don't explain yourself to her

give short, non-committal answers

don't pretend to be happy to see her if you aren't happy to see her
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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B

bullethead

Don Juan
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My rule of thumb never break up with a girl. Even if you don't want to be with her.
 
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