"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Some interesting feedback I received today

Shivastorm_88

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My uncle told that to my mom last weekend when she went to his house for supper, and she told me that while I was helping her out in the kitchen.


He told her that I have definitely changed over the course of the last year. I seem to be getting more mature and a better overall person, in the sense that I am much more present at family gatherings to help out (set the table, clear the table, take out the trash, etc.) and also that I seem to be much more approachable and genuinely interested in the family members than before. He also said he noticed that I used to be much more introvert before, but now I am becoming much more extroverted, I participate much more in the overall family conversations, I become the heart of certain conversations, I take those who are more silent and "left-out" on the side to speak with them or include them in the discussion that the family as a whole is having.


All in all, these are the kind of improvements I have been looking for in the past 2-3 months when I decided it was high time I switch my life upside down, learn to be a better conversationalist and do the bootcamp. Always good to receive positive feedback like this to let me know I'm on the right track!

There is no real point to this, I'm simply typing this up as sort of a feedback to show that change is possible if you really set your mind to it. I've only been working actively on it since the beginning of the year, perhaps a little before that, and only started the bootcamp on February, but already results have been noticed.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Real Talk

Don Juan
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Now this is the sort of stuff Im talking about :up:

IMO there's nothing better than having a good relationship with your family. If your relationship with your family is open and strong, everything else in your life tends to fit in to place on its own :)
 

bilboteabaggins

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I like this...alot, I have been on the same quest to better myself the past 18 months and have noticed opening up more to family members correlates to others out in the world

but I would hate to see anyone rid themselves 100% of their introverted tendencies, if you are truly introverted and didn't have other things going on like extreme shyness then embrace it, don't be a loner, get out there and get it done but don't try to become a polar opposite extrovert

just my opinion of course :)
 

Shivastorm_88

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bilboteabaggins said:
I like this...alot, I have been on the same quest to better myself the past 18 months and have noticed opening up more to family members correlates to others out in the world

but I would hate to see anyone rid themselves 100% of their introverted tendencies, if you are truly introverted and didn't have other things going on like extreme shyness then embrace it, don't be a loner, get out there and get it done but don't try to become a polar opposite extrovert

just my opinion of course :)
It's a good one at that, and I am not riding myself of them, I am actually using them to my advantage. Being introverted, I am not a very big speaker, so that means I must build on other conversational skills, such as listening. It's a valuable tool, and it's almost solely through active listening that I got the feedback previously mentioned.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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