"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Some help?

N

NMan87

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Hello DJs I have been reading this forum for a couple weeks now and like the advice you all give and thank you for it. But I'm afraid I have ran into a problem. I have recently realized when I get into a convo with a cute girl I start out good but then I start talking a mile a minute and believe it's because I'm nervious of boring the girl and her leaving. I have been trying to find a way to snap myself out of it... Any tips would be great... I also have some more questions but I'll leave those after I get this problem taken care of...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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D

Diaforetikos

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godsgift is right about the inner game part. You need to be confident in yourself. If you think your boring, your gonna be boring. But if you think your not boring, then you won't be.

I actually had this same conversation with my coworker. He has the same problem... He is in his head way too much during a conversation.

When you notice this, try your best to refocus on the conversation. Be present and in the moment. Not floating in the clouds wondering if your interesting. Guys who can hold a basic conversation are interesting.


If you notice your talking fast during convo's, slow down, and add small pauses between words. Noticing your doing is halfway through fixing the problem. So now take the steps to adjust things and you'll do fine.



Being social aware if your boring your conversation partner is important. This tells you when you need to change subjects. Pay attention to the other persons actions, and not just their words. Learn to read body language and face expressions.


If you find yourself running out of things to say, start saying the first thing the comes to your head. Even if its about you running out of things to talk about.



DON'T BE FAKE!!!! It's degrading to yourself and insulting to others. People wanna talk to the real you. Not some fake guy who is tryin to impress others. I can't stand fake people who excel in small talk. It's pointless and dumb. Be real. Be genuine. People appreciate it.



And the most important part... PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE!!!!!! And then practice some more. You only get better, like godsgift said, through experience. Practice is work, but it produces the most results the quickest.



Good luck!!!



Oh, and start a journal. It helps keeping track of what you've learned and noticed about yourself and your new found skills.
 
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