Some friends of mine.

[Anchorman]

So i have a group of friends. We have been friends for a while, but I feel that our friendship has really degraded.

I feel that I am being used in almost every single situation. I notice some of them lying to me just to get me to do something for them, or being put in situations where I am "obligated" to. They make promises to get me back next time, but those are usually false promises; when I want something from them or have to count on them, I usually have to go out of my way for them to help me out. It is always about them, my interests are pretty much no concern to them.

However, when I try to avoid them or choose not to go along with them, they spin it against me like I am the one that's always at fault.

I am really sick of feeling like im being tooled. I can see through their bull****, but a part of me still chooses to go along with it. These "friends" just release their negativity on me and make me the scapegoat of everything.

I feel that they are draining all of my energy, because EVERY SINGLE TIME I have to sacrifice something for them, and they do little for me.

I have tried telling them about their behavior, all i got in return was confused looks and they just dismiss what I say.

How do you deal with behavior like this? I am sick of being used like a tool just to be discarded the next day until i am needed again.

 

[true romance]

stay away and work on your life..make your on chart..bend to no one.

They use you because you let them ..so stand up and stay away from these leeches

 

[KingBeef]

You need to go out there and make some new friends, that's the bottom line. Users like these will RIDE you for as long as they can because you're too weak to do cut them off, PERMANENTLY.

It also sounds to me that right now that they're your only source of social life that you have and that you're too dependent on them because you'd feel lonely. CUT THEM OFF FOR GOOD!!!!

- Kingbeef

 

[DJDamage]

How do you deal with behavior like this? I am sick of being used like a tool just to be discarded the next day until i am needed again.

You deal with this behavior by acting like a Man. If a friend disrespect's you then you tell them and if they refuse to stop then you walk away and make friends with those who will respect you (respect has to be earned never given). You have let those guys slowly push you around and they got used to the fact that you are now the weakest member of your group. You needed to stand up for yourself early on even risking the end of your friendship if you do so. Friends come and go and there is a good chance you already outgrew your friends and they outgrew you.

 

[Prodigy746]

I would never be friends with people like that. First i see friends like this, i got their backs and they need to have my back.

Most of the firends i got now have helped me many times and i have done the same for them.

I have gone as far as paying my friends tuition with my credit card since i didnt have money to help him out. His financial aid was late and he was at risk of missing that semester. When he received the financial aid check he returned the money and i payed of the cc. They went as far as driving 15 mils one way so they can take me to work when my car was in shop.

I had one guy at work that i considered to be a friend. He was married with 3 kids one doughter even started college. Well he was tight on money many times and i always let him borrow 30-40 dollars when he needs it. He would say he would return it in 2 weeks but it would usually be 5-6 weeks. I dint care about that because he was workign 2 jobs and he usually pays back. We were really cool , talked about lot of things, personal things...

Anyway one day i needed some help at work so i went and asked him to help me and he pretty much said he was not going to do it. I could have asked other people but i figured since he was my friend i would get him. This was mistake for 2 reasons , one we were friends and i helped him many times and two i was a supervisor and he was a part timer so he was suppose to listen to me. Even people that i am not cool with do what i tell them to do but here is one of my good friends refusing to do what i need him to do. I got very pissed and went and talked to a manager and he had to do it. Next day he came in trying to talk to me and i streight up told him that we were not cool anymore and we will just be talking about work. He was really hurt by the my statement and his eyes watered up as i turned around and walked away, i didnt care because i didnt need friends that didnt return favors. I never said a word to him for 3-4 months... until one day out of the blue he came and asked me if we can talk in private. He apologized and said he was wrong and that he missed having me as a friend and our talks. I accepted his apology and told him streight up that i will help a friend out but i expect him to do the same for me.

 

[Anchorman]

You need to go out there and make some new friends, that's the bottom line. Users like these will RIDE you for as long as they can because you're too weak to do cut them off, PERMANENTLY.

It also sounds to me that right now that they're your only source of social life that you have and that you're too dependent on them because you'd feel lonely. CUT THEM OFF FOR GOOD!!!!

- Kingbeef

i think that this is pretty dead on. They are not my only source of social life; but a lot of it; about 85 % of the time I spent hanging out was with them. I have other friends, but not many. I started chilling more with my other friends, and this has had an effect on my group of fake friends.

It's funny how people call asking to hang out and saying "why dont you ever hang anymore", but once i do go out with them, they turn on me and use me again. Or they'll be nice for a little bit; I start thinking that they are finally acting normal, only to find them acting like their old selves once i am "back in". And this cycle continues.

You guys are right; I should drop them and focus on finding new friends that will treat me with respect.